If I told the truth
That the only thing
That makes me stay alive
Is my fear of what it would do to other people
Were I to do what I think best
For myself
Because I see no future in my allotment
I see no way, no reason, and no why to remain
Other than that I’m terrified
Of causing even more hurt than I already have
To those whose lives are infinitely worth more than mine
And capable of more than mine
As long as I don’t ***** them up
But for me to feel better
Would be to feel nothing at all
And to do that would break some of them at least
So i’ll stay tortured and strung in between
For the sake of those
Who can never know the truth
Because truth be told
I have nothing left in my life but death

walking down the street airily,
up comes a man so hairily
telling me how unsofairily
the world has been to him.

you see my dear friend,
our lives we must mend
for we never know our end
thus we pretend we live forever.

death left its mark,
a hardy spark,
deep inside our heart
vulnerable til the end.

a stillness occupies the brain,
an illness with all there is to gain
that causes unfathomable pain--
mental illness, will I ever be the same?

What I elected is fresh perspective:
the world is not so defective,
it just needs a new directive!
one that is protective,
completely unselective,
and infective with love.

Don’t let the *******
Get their foot through the door
Say yes once, at the wrong time
And you’ve said yes ten thousand times
Soon they’ll be taking the hours
From your life

It will happen slowly
Creeping up on you
Like glacial tides
Like choosing a Pope
Like *** cancer
Until one day you are consumed
And struggling only pulls the mud
Further up your throat

They get you with all the necessities
Food, water, beer, clothes, and cigarettes
It takes POWER to say no
Not a lot of people have power
At least, they say no to the wrong things
They’ll say no to a mid-week ******
And yes to the slow death of 8-5

You see the injustice in their eyes
You see they are looking for an escape
You know, though, that they wont
The ******* move in

They claim they already own the place
That they never moved in at all
They’ll start rearranging
The furniture of your life
Orientating everything in their image

Don’t let them in
Don’t even open the door
They’ll take everything-
But it’s yours to keep

To keep so long as you
Love their cruelty
And allow them the last thread
Of consciousness
That leaves your body before sleep

It’s yours so long as you
Turn up on time
And stay late
Punch the clock
And throttle all human smell

It’s all yours
If you give yourself to them
They will use up your patience
And then start on your confidence

Until they have you
Decorating your iron bars
With raised, clenched fists
Declaring loyalty to those
Who would drop you without hesitation

Soon, they’ll **** that spark
That Blue Moon spark
The one you feel when the sky
Mimics colours of happy memories
The one you feel when
You wake with movement in your bones
The one you feel when
A balloon swells in your chest
Or when ecstasy fills your spine
How the wind at the back of a motorbike
Blows the cobwebs from your mind

They’ll take it all away

They’ll take it all
Compensate you with a paltry sum
For all of your hours
For all torn relationships
You have no time for

They’ll turn the vice
A little tighter each day
Until you turn crazy-
If you’re lucky

If not
You’ll be there
Spent on purified sugar
And a lack of motion
To your days
You’ll be there
A hollowed shell
Of violent potential
Lost

Lost in timesheets and long weekends
You’ll take pictures
Of days spent in the sun
So that in your luxury
Your geriatric, loose-skinned luxury
You can look back
On your small life and say
“Hey, I did everything expected of me”

And that will work
For no one

Don’t let the *******
Get their foot through the door
You have no POWER to resist
You won’t be you anymore

Well...first I'd probably pay off all my student loans

And with the rest of the $10, i don't know.....

Chipotle or taco bell maybe?