None of us know each other
None of us want to even try
Or maybe it's just me
And maybe my standards
Are too high

They wouldn't understand
All these strangers down the halls
I sit alone on my bed
And hear giggles through
The walls

And no matter how hard I try
It always comes to this odd end
I have to constantly remind myself
A therapist is not
A friend

my worst fear
is being forgotten
i’m scared everyday
of being left
in the dust
of being replaced
for someone else
somebody better
because i’m not good enough
i mess up so much more
than everyone else
and sure there is that saying
that mistakes make people human
but maybe too many mistakes
are what
tear people down
i hear the rest of my family
downstairs laughing
making memories together
without me
when i leave the group
no one seems to notice
my worst fear
is being forgotten
and maybe
it’s already happened.

i see her standing there -
and i'm wondering when she
will come inside.

it's below forty outside -
and the tears have frozen to her cheeks
and i can tell that she's becoming numb.

when will she come inside?
i wish she would -
so that i may wrap a blanket around her shoulders
and give her something hot to drink
and let the tears melt down her face.

i wish she would come inside.
but her and i both know better,
than to believe that we have any control -

over
this.
this.
this.
these feelings, i should say.

she'll come back inside -
when the feelings pass
when it's safe again
when i'm me again
when the world is righted on its axis.

I thought home was a construction
A state of mind
That could be built anywhere.
Anywhere that had a bed
and a sense of belonging.
I thought that'd be enough.

3 months later
3,000 miles away
I realized
Home isn't something that can be created
Home is something you have to find
Something you have to feel.

I feel most at home
with your touch.

There’s nothing quite like saying goodbye;
one day, a day like any other, it ends.
You used to be a part of my life
My mornings, my nights --
my winter, spring, summer and fall
How ironic is it, that we say goodbye now,
in the season we met each other?
Fresh fallen snow in front of my feet.
Just like that very first day;
I wish this day, too, would end
with you by my side once more