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 Oct 2017 Jessica Hill
Jamie
Gravity
 Oct 2017 Jessica Hill
Jamie
And it's moments like these
where you stop moving and the world
spins
And your body feels so heavy
like rocks, like mountains,
like the whole world is pushing down
like you're drowning
in gravity
like none of the rules of physics apply
And it's like quicksand
there's no bottom to the pit
you've dug
and no ladder, no stairway, no handholds
you're falling
And you feel like you can barely breathe
barely blink
barely live
Depression isn't something cool
not a fad
or a trend
it's a sentence
a death sentence
and I don't know whether or not I can lift it
because somedays,
like today,
it's just too heavy
You gave me those red marks before I can even speak.

"I love you," you said with your voice told me that you could not breathe properly. My spine brushed the bed while I pushed your body against mine.
"I love you too," I said. Mesmerised because of you. Nervous before my hand grab the sheets, holding the lust that come through me.

It was that Monday evening.
With you, with lust, with love.
Alone.
Little Carole Jean
You were born to early
Only 20 weeks and 4 days into my pregnancy
Born without a heartbeat

I held you in my arms
So tiny so fragile
8.6oz and only 21 inches long
But so beautiful and pure

You had your daddy's long legs
And my annoying chin
Nine Perfect Baby fingers
And Your tiny feet so cute

I'm so sorry babygirl
That mommy couldn't protect you
I failed you little one
Please can you forgive me.

I see how Daddy cries for you
His eyes show how much he misses you
You were his world, his little princess

I miss you so much
I miss you growing inside me
Watching your daddy wrap his arms around my tummy
And say he is on protection duty

I wish I could have watched you grow up
I can picture you in my mind
Dark unruly red hair
And bright blue eyes like daddy

Your dad would have had to chase all the boys away

I wish I could wake up from this nightmare
And erase this whole last week
Look down and see my bellies small bump
Can I go back to when things were good?

Rest Easy Carole Jean
Be safe up there ok?
You have a whole lot of people to meet you there
And a whole lot of people still yet to come

I will see you again one day
Until then please be good.
I cant wait to hold you again
And I know Daddy can't either.

We will be a family again one day
Until then you are always in my heart.
I will NEVER forget you
I dont think I ever could

I love you daughter
And forever always will
You are with me for eternity

My little baby Carole Jean
My daughter Carole Jean was born 5/26/17. Weighting 8.6oz and only 21cm long. Born still but never the less Still born. I love you babygirl and Mommy always will
 Dec 2016 Jessica Hill
maxime
"You're so annoying."
I love that you stay to bother me.
"You're stupid."
You can do so much better than that.
"You're an *******."
Thank you for always speaking your mind to me.
"Please stop being nice."
I really don't deserve your love.
"Shut up."
I just want to enjoy being with you.
"I didn't even think of you."
I missed you more than I can even say.
"I hate you."
*I love you more than I can put into words.
you shoot and they die
why humanity do they
face brutality?
I'm sick
I'm tired
I can't stand the effect of the weather
It's a joyous time but ***** it because it got me sick
Allergies **** ****
At least there's hot chocolate
I always told him
He couldn't let things go
But here I am
Incapable of letting him go.
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