Will you or won't you?
Can I try, if you don't?

Your body is a language I would like to be fluent in.

I'd like to meet you the way our lips have.
I'd like to speak to you
because your body is a language I want to be fluent in.

our lips parted and you left me in addiction.
I've been ordering skin and tonic every night,
I kiss people so hard hoping to forget whose air I'm breathing
because  I just might not recall that you are all i want to inhale.

I don't think you understand
I would reinvent the world for you.
Just so we could live in places
where our hands would fit into spaces
like puzzle pieces, and magazine faces.

But I cant, my sand castles dry out and
blow into the wind disappearing among stardust.
I can not stop the red sea from parting,
just like I can not stop our lips from parting
and unfortunately I can not stop your soul from departing.

I think I'm doing pretty well
At hiding how it hurt
That even though
We haven't been together in months
You made plans with someone else
On the day that was supposed to be mine

We used to be so close
Where did all this distance come from?

I don't quite know why it is
That I feel a great sense of loss
On nights when I can't stay awake
Until the early hours of the next morning.
It isn't as if I would make use of the time.
I spend those hours mostly in quiet,
Sitting by myself in the darkness,
Doing nothing but existing.
Maybe that's enough.
A reminder that
I'm still alive.
Yet idle.

People seem to think
That I spend most of my time
Alone
But that isn't quite true
I have a constant companion
In the form of crippling self doubt
In guilt, anxiety, and a hollow resignation

People seem to think
That I spend most of my time
Alone
If only that were the case.