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Those feelings—
guilt, shame, disgust
rise up
as I shove them
down my throat.
Trying to fill myself up
only to have it emptied out.
March, 2014
 May 2014 Jenna Leanne
pixels
knuckles rubbed raw by
teeth so sharp and blunt
a tongue rough and silent

violent retching
self-harm for a throat
already held by a noose

she promises
just

one more cookie
one last bite
one last calorie
one last breath
one

the toilet bowl is her best friend
and she hugs it close
when no one can hear
Isn’t it something that two bodies connected by an unwritten creed, were emotionally trapped but physically freed?

As civil individuals the two gained public recognition, became restricted, by each other’s verbal jurisdiction.

They were paradoxical and fragile in more ways than one, like an albino celebrity, a star that stays away from the sun.

Now they say long distance love mandates communication for jubilation, but they had never been used to such distant segregation.

He wanted to be lint-less, and wanted her not to cling, he wanted to be free, to him this was just a fling.

She wanted to be loved and thought he wanted space, but secretly it killed her, thus the emotion on her face.

Now where I come into play, is relative but strange, seated in a class room that was randomly arranged.

Like the flipping of a coin, the result somewhat unknown, by chance we’d ended up somewhere private, and alone.

So, two bodies connected by an unspeakable pact, were emotionally joined by an extremely physical act.

I'll just leave what happened to the readers imagination...

Nevermind, we ******.
I never finished/edited this but I'm sure I will one day
 May 2014 Jenna Leanne
Sydney
You
 May 2014 Jenna Leanne
Sydney
You
Line by line
I dissect you
Embrace your mind
Pick at your soul
Your dark past
Your changing present
Your beautiful flaws
Your regrets
I am trying to learn
Each crevice of your eye lid
Each stretch mark on your side
Every freckle and bump
And current bruise
And when I think I know it all
That's not possible
I'll never know enough about you
 May 2014 Jenna Leanne
L
Thoughts
 May 2014 Jenna Leanne
L
I don't understand it.
I am not a anxious person.
But lately, I've been catching myself on the edge of a break down --
not necessarily a destructive breakdown,
more like a breakdown of happiness.
Thinking about how much I love her...
It's almost pathetic.
Wanting her in my arms holds a physical ache.
Thoughts of her have formed an almost meditative mantra.
Her presence calms my mind like the shoreline does the sea.
Revelation.*
She's become my anchor.
And I find myself sinking deeper everyday.

Just a rambling of thoughts.
R <3
**
Leigh
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