There is no
knowing where we were
or what we were
there for....
therefore, there is no going back.

Woulds that have been
growing as I
compare
myself, unsure,
but with what
more
I  wish I could,                  I wish I had.

But I'm too slow.             And I lose track.
Rather than show it, I just forfeit every attack.

You became my idol
and I became idle.
I don't blame you,
you've always been the same.
It was my mistake
to shake the heart awake
was just
to make it break apart.

To gaze from nowhere to the sky
at night, as it is starry,
are all the ways I bare as why
for bright, I am so sorry.

Lacking ample reason, I set you on a pedestal carved out of stone.

And I said, I'll be back in a season, I'm not really gone,

I just fed what starved us; the black of the night of doubt while alone.

The allegation I believe did not require consideration
It was a gross exaggeration out of desperation
This fabrication, and every sick insinuation,
A complication of a self explanation
Of your deprivation and justification
For your manipulation to suit your temptation,
infatuation with your impersonation
Contamination
Indignation within your contamination,
An accusation of your relation became your revelation,
It was not your reputation anymore under investigation
Starving for salvation, you fed each sick implication
As if each misrepresentation in vindication were a donation
To trade your damnation for his incarceration
As if creation of a demonstration

Desperation for an explanation
For your infatuation with temptation
Deprivation justification was indignation,
Accusation of impersonation -
Realization of manipulation
Salvation from damnation
Clarification of contamination
Allegation as donation
The Incarceration cancellation
The only explanation

I woke up, I cannot find the earth.
So I spoke up, just to remind myself
I am, I am, I am
still worth a ****.
I choke up but I am.

Where is the earth,
I ache for the soil
which caught me from birth
I take for granted that I was granted the spoil.
Is it genuine if it was not a choice, am I loyal?
Has it been a gift to get a thought and voice,
or do I sit
where I get  hit
because my spot
is one that taught
my father that none
get done,
that to win is hardly ever to have won.
To begin to disregard is to sever from what you’d begun.
You've been a coward too clever to run.
Are you empowered that you never were a son?
Instead devoured forever a family by the web a liar spun?

Often I think about the feral child
I can't help but wonder if he knows he's wild?

I can't help but think of the feral child
I wonder if he knows he's wild?

I open my eyes before I wake up,
     and I turn
           to settle down my feet upon the soil.
But the ground cannot be found.
To my surprise find I break up,
     and burn
           the heat from the metal on my crown;
           searing the loyal.
Recoil without a sound.
I keep it on, though kingdom gone,
The price to be royal is profound.

I have lost touch with the land.
I have lost touch with the land.
I have lost much, and through my hand
desperately I clutch
my home, realizing I demand too much.
This isn't what I planned.
I have lost touch with the land.
I may or may not understand
why within grasp that which must stay,
crumbled at last gasp and turned to sand

I have lost touch with the land
I have lost touch with the land
I have lost touch with the land
Much I do, much I don't
this much I understand.

Somewhere deep inside, in places that remain unseen
I feel I'm rotting away slowly, in the places I can't clean
and I don't know why I can't translate what I feel and what I mean
into words that you could understand.
Each time I try, I betray my right hand,
and have to realize that not even I understand.

Why I can't come forward, it's as if I'm not allowed...
but no such thing is true, and I don't know what keeps me from saying out loud,
and I just wonder if it is only me,
and if this means this is the person I will always be.
I still don't know if I believe there is a thing like destiny.

Somehow I feel *****, deep inside, I cannot change...
even though I wish I could, I cannot reach that deep, it's strange
and if there were a place that I could go in for a soul exchange...
I know I would; but since I can't, I guess at best I'll rearrange

Each time I try, I betray my right hand
and realize not even I understand

Eventually you may see what you politely termed, 'ambition'
might by others be conceptualized, 'condition'

only one thing is certain to come to fruition
Which is claiming that you have it disproves your intuition