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Jade Elon Apr 2014
Yellow like the dandy lions
Like the fire oozing out of my veins
I just called you five times
You now have five empty voicemails
Telling you:
You are like cobalt blue
Eyes spark, they cut like diamonds
You're piercing
You're sublime
Those voicemails
I don't think they ever sent
You know the airways
Always carry away a part
Of your soul
Yellow like the sky at daybreak and the earth's core
We were all connected
Through time
And we are still missing a link
Jade Elon Apr 2014
Somedays I wonder
What you'd be like
Underneath the night sky
I've never been in
Love with anything
The way I love the
Breeze in the evening
You told me once that
I was heartbreaking
While I was cocooned in
Your sweatshirt telling
Myself lies
You see
The problem with pretty
Girls is that they don't
Wear their hearts on
their sleeves
That they speak sweetly and lie
Softly and kiss with
Their eyes open
They give a little and they
Get a lot
You told me that I was
Heart breaking
With my coined face
And pretty ways and
Lovely smile
I told you that you were
Heart breaking

*You walked away.
Jade Elon Oct 2013
I guess you could say I'm supportive of gay marriage
Because if a boy and a girl can get married
Then a boy and a boy can get married
And if a boy and a boy can get married
Then a girl and a girl can get married
And I say this because I don't care who they marry
As long as it isn't who I want to marry
And I guess you could say I'm supportive of smoking
Because I don't care if you destroy your lungs
As long as it isn't around me
I don't care if you decided to sit in a smoke filled haze for the rest of your life
Wondering when it all went wrong as long as you
Don't call me at three am saying you have no choices
And you've given up.
And I guess you could say I'm supportive of selling
your body, mind and soul
Because I don't care as long as I'm not written into the fine print
And you're not signing me up for something I don't want to partake in.
See I'm selfish, I'm supportive of a lot of things
As long as the rioters don't come to my door demanding changes
And the altercations and "long live prosperity".
I don't care if it counters my ingrained beliefs,
It's not the end of the world
Just anther person doing what they want to do
So I guess you could say I am a liberal,
But I'd say I'm just too busy to give a ****
About controlling people's lives and that instead
Of making people conform I'd rather
Be getting **** done to actually
Change The World
Jade Elon Sep 2013
I never said I was sorry. I wasn't. I never am. Go cry yourself to sleep and forget I even said something. Forget I even breathed. No wait.

I'm a lair.
I'm a lover.
I'm no good.

Hey can you promise me something? Can you promise that when the morning comes you'll forget what I said? You'll forget I existed.

I know I hold you down
Like a devil
Like a saint

Like the ghost of a lost soul who once was in love.
But I don't know what love feels like.
All I know is that it is as fickle as the wind. All I know is that it makes you cry at night.
All I know is that I'd rather not know at all.

Go home. Forget it.
Say you never knew me....
Jade Elon Nov 2014
The slow thumb of the base reminds me of a heart beat/I lie naked on my floor wishing the carpet was your chest/I've been waiting 20 minutes/hours/days/I've been waiting forever for our idealistic future/Somedays I close my eyes and forget you never loved me anyway/It's not hard to be delusional/I wear your sweatshirt pretending to love someone/other than/the girl I was/before I became/the girl/
I/Created/For/You.
The title is of the song that I was listening to while writing this by The Postal Service
Jade Elon Sep 2013
let's write a poem
I'll talk about my love of pain &
you can talk about your love of love

for you my heart beats faster
for you my lungs breath deeper
for you my day gets brighter
my hand writing better
for you I...
I forget, who are you again?
Jade Elon Sep 2013
The card read:
"Perfection.
This feeling,
This adoration!
Perfection,
To feel this way everyday.
Dear, I would never leave you."
......

The flowers again were tulips
I hate tulips.
I hate the smell.
I hate the shape.
I hate the meaning.
......
2 weeks.
2 long weeks.
2 long weeks too soon for tulips.
Jade Elon Apr 2017
One day I wondered what it would be like to **** myself
Not because I wanted to die
But because I wasn't sure that I was living
But I knew if I died
My mother's world would crumble
And if I died
My sisters would have no one to look up to
And if I died
I wondered
Would anything I had done up until now have any meaning?
If I died
Had I done anything up until now that had any meaning?
And I wondered if I ever truly felt alive
Like people describe alive to be
Wind running through your hair, fast paced, quickened heartbeat, running through the streets barefoot, staying after the street lights come on, the "oh my god isn't that just great" moments
So I tried it
I tried to live fast
I tried to be reckless
Tried to experience the moments that took people's breath away
And all I realized was I felt more alive
At home with my family
Felt more alive
Reading a good book in the sun
Felt more alive doing things people said weren't living
Because life is what you make it
And some days I still wonder what it would be like to **** myself
And know the simplest way would to live a life I don't love
Jade Elon Apr 2014
If my mother read my poems
She would think I was in love.
I'd have to explain to her
"How could I be in love with anyone if I can't even love myself?"
If even the thought of love makes me sick
To the point I feel like going days without eating
Humanity has a notion of love
It's all consuming
             all powering
      all people want
But if I can't care for myself
How is it right that others expect me to care for them?
My mother, if I were to line my body
With my favorite quotes and phrases and lyrics,
Would think I was in love
But aren't love and hate closely alined?
Coiling around your body and gripping you till you don't know yourself
From your obsession
If my mother read my poems
She'd think I was in love
So deep in love that I've lost myself
So deep in love that I've found myself
So deep in love that I never had a self to begin with

If you see my mother read my poems.

*You'll see her cry
Jade Elon Oct 2013
I'm sorry that I called myself beautiful it was uncalled for to play on your insecurities
I want to call you beautiful, wonderful, fantastic. I just want to call you. And if you didn't know
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Then you didn't know a lot: About
The sorry girls in the third floor bathroom. Who can't hold down their lunches like they are rumors and memories from past times spilling through lips painted red like stained glass into the ears of the all consuming toilet bowl. Or the girl filling her self up with anything within reach hoping to have there be padding in the empty spaces of her heart and masking the feelings that disillusioned her about the current area and caused her hope in her current generation to go down to .001. Or the girl who never knew that bleeding could be so raw, and painful and beautiful and a delusion of grader painted onto flesh toned walls. I'm sorry I prayed on you insecurities, it's not my fault you look so cute when you're vulnerable. I'm sorry that I can't play nice and I'm sorry I'm cruel to those I love the most.
Jade Elon Apr 2014
I no longer
mistake your arrogance
for affection
(mirror, mirror)
-------------------------------
Don't mistake my
vanity
for affection
*(who's the fairest?* ME)
Jade Elon Sep 2013
And if god was real
Don't you think he'd know better?
I shouldn't
I couldn't

But I did anyway
I tried anyway

And if god was watching
It must have been for his own sick amusement

Because it was my only saving grace

And now all I do is pray and cry and pray some more
Jade Elon Sep 2013
Walking the Thin Line

----------------------------

I love you, I love you, I love you


I love you like the feeling of snow against my bare feet

I love you like the feeling of rain at a wedding

I love you like the fog that covers cemeteries

I love you like the ghosts that I used to know

I love you like the lies that dot my eyes

I love you like the feeling of blood seeping from
a fresh wound

I love you like all those things I want to forget



"Everything remembered was made to be forgotten and I'm one more drink away from forgetting you had a name, I'll let your face blend into the walls and let the carpet consume me"



I love you, I love you, I love you.


But to love is to suffer
I hate to suffer
I hate to love


But weren't you the one that told me love and misery often come in pairs?

Or maybe that was a waking dream,

Or maybe that was a drifting nightmare.



I love you, I love you, I love you


But I love to love what I know is unattainable

And for that I hate you too
Jade Elon Jul 2014
stuck in-between a desolate
empty feeling;
waking up in the morning
the cold sheets,
and the sleeping angels under
the full moon
She sings in the morning
like an angel,
like a devil,
like a "no good"
the
         discarded
                            clothes
  by
           the
                                                                ­                                       Doorstep
Jade Elon Apr 2014
I once saw you
sneaking out a girl's
window;
I didn't realize you
could climb that
well.
Sometimes
I wish you
thought I was
a princess in a
tower and you
were a prince
and my window
was the doorway
into your heart.
I just want to wear
your shirt around and
tell you how much I
love you.
But you don't care and
I don't care if you
don't feel the same.
My body is the
mid-west and
yours the
Mississippi traveling
along my edges.

— The End —