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4.7k · Oct 2013
Southern Hospitality
Jade Elon Oct 2013
In the West I learned western hospitality
Free spirit, free drugs, more *****, more love
If you can remember your problem your doing it wrong
But if you forget your responsibilities you're not worth much
Party everyday pretend you don't understand the methods of your madness
Walk the streets half naked in half a foot of snow
Party, study, party, study
party, party, party
CHURCH
repent and once it strikes midnight start again.
In the North I learned Northern hospitality
It's called minding your business
It's called I have to get somewhere
If you have a question you also have a smart phone
It's not my job to tell you the norm.
You'll figure it out
I learned to walk fast, speak briskly and tell everyone to mind their own business
In the South I learned Southern hospitality
It's where people talk nice to your face and ***** behind your back
It's where the idea of ownership has stemmed way before the monogram
It's where if they only have two faces they are genuine and where they'll feed you fresh apple pie
filled with arsenic
Where you can trust your neighbor only as far as you can throw them
Where everyone's a little racist, a little homophobic, a little god-fearing
In the South I learned
Hospitality


-----------------------------------------­---------------
A/N
I was born and raised in Denver, Colorado.
Currently I reside in North Carolina.
Jade Elon Sep 2013
I love the song birds
they sing in morning
they chatter in the afternoon
they (seem to) die at night
I love song birds
&
the song birds love me
2.5k · Oct 2013
The Not So Liberal
Jade Elon Oct 2013
I guess you could say I'm supportive of gay marriage
Because if a boy and a girl can get married
Then a boy and a boy can get married
And if a boy and a boy can get married
Then a girl and a girl can get married
And I say this because I don't care who they marry
As long as it isn't who I want to marry
And I guess you could say I'm supportive of smoking
Because I don't care if you destroy your lungs
As long as it isn't around me
I don't care if you decided to sit in a smoke filled haze for the rest of your life
Wondering when it all went wrong as long as you
Don't call me at three am saying you have no choices
And you've given up.
And I guess you could say I'm supportive of selling
your body, mind and soul
Because I don't care as long as I'm not written into the fine print
And you're not signing me up for something I don't want to partake in.
See I'm selfish, I'm supportive of a lot of things
As long as the rioters don't come to my door demanding changes
And the altercations and "long live prosperity".
I don't care if it counters my ingrained beliefs,
It's not the end of the world
Just anther person doing what they want to do
So I guess you could say I am a liberal,
But I'd say I'm just too busy to give a ****
About controlling people's lives and that instead
Of making people conform I'd rather
Be getting **** done to actually
Change The World
Jade Elon Dec 2013
My father taught me five:
He taught me
1. That it is okay to be late to dinner or not show up at all as long as you have a good reason.
taught me
2. That everyone makes mistakes and either you live with them or you runaway from them leaving only a voicemail and a forwarding address.
taught me
3. That you'll never have to be disappointed by others if your the disappointment and if you leave before the introductions.
taught me
4. That names are fickle, and there is never any point of telling someone yours if you have no plans to remember theirs.
taught me
5. That you have to give a little to get a little but that sometimes you give a little and get a lot of something you don't want.

My mother taught me five:
She taught me
5. That somedays you'll wake up and want to die because life is hard and no one will be on your side if you're against yourself.
taught me
4.  That it is hard to forgive and forget and it is even harder when you're 19 and all you're left with is a swelling abdomen, a voicemail and a forwarding address.
taught me
3. That good deeds don't make the person, that sacrifices make the person, that waking up alone at 4am to a crying baby makes the person.
taught me
2. That it's healthy to cry, but it's not healthy to cry yourself to sleep at night and cry yourself into productivity in the morning.
taught me
1. That it is okay to be late to dinner or not show up at all as long as you have a good reason.
2.1k · Apr 2014
Blue Silk
Jade Elon Apr 2014
Blue Silk
You told me
That you loved in so many
Languages
"hassen, detester, viha, ura"
Since when did you decide to
be honest?
Blue Silk
You used to say I was
Only worth
Every time I laid still
I used to pretend I could
See the stars on
Your ceiling
Blue Silk
The only way
You'd know I'd been
Lying would be to swim
Through my tears
You kiss me to muffle my
Sobs.
Blue Silk**
A young girl
Covered in
Bruises runs
Down the road
Slipping over her
Tears; opens her
Mouth to call for help
And blood spills out.
2.0k · Sep 2013
TuLove
Jade Elon Sep 2013
The card read:
"Perfection.
This feeling,
This adoration!
Perfection,
To feel this way everyday.
Dear, I would never leave you."
......

The flowers again were tulips
I hate tulips.
I hate the smell.
I hate the shape.
I hate the meaning.
......
2 weeks.
2 long weeks.
2 long weeks too soon for tulips.
1.9k · Sep 2013
Classy
Jade Elon Sep 2013
It's like
God
I don't even know what it's like anymore and you you always look so pretty
You setting there like nothing is ever going to happen
Like you've forgotten my name
I was that image
On the river side
Oh now you remember
I was the shadow of the man of the person who you wanted to be
I was normal
I was kind
But I was virtuous and I knew my rights were right and my wrongs were morally sound
But you've always been the judgmental type but that's ok
I'm a splintered fragment of what I used to be
I'm not where close to what I could have been I'm my childhood
But it's ok
It's fine
I'm a lady now
1.7k · Apr 2014
Cheating (3 10w)
Jade Elon Apr 2014
She bragged (detailed)
You sounded so happy
"I love you"
--------------------------------
You heard him tell me
"I love you"
(in bed)

---------------------------------
**I wasn't expecting you to be home so early dear
Jade Elon Oct 2013
the only thing i love more than myself is you
i'd do anything for you
you're beautiful and celestial
you always smell great and when the light hits your hair just right....
(gosh)
i want to tell you how much i care
about you & your feelings & your bad habits & your out dated t-shirts & trendy pants
i'd give up everything for you
most likely
i mean i don't have much to give or a lot to give up
and i don't have much to hide
especially considering the fact that i wear as little as socially acceptable to get your attention
but i know you're ****** up
i know you like to smoke -and i don't mean cigarettes- in the parking lot
and that instead of eating you're on an alcohol only diet & that your bad days mean you come to school sober & your worse days mean you come to school fighting mad (and drunk)
i know you like to act tough & almost went to jail for hitting your mom
but that's okay; that's alright.
everyone changes
i can tell from the gleam in your coal black eyes that you'd change
for me
with me
and god...
i just love you*

-----------------------------------------------------------­------------------------------------------
The fall of societies norms is a impressive but heartbreaking thing to see.
Can't we go back to the time when people called each other sweetheart and brought home flowers?
If my generation is on the way to being the world leaders we need to step it up, class it up and remember that manners aren't dead.
1.3k · Apr 2014
Generation X
Jade Elon Apr 2014
I like to sit across from my __
She usually tells me about how I should be better. But I don't want to be.
Everyone says my generation's only talents are to keep our legs open and Our mouth's closed. I like to think we can read and write and
Fall in love with strangers on subways in the forgotten underground.
Everyone says that we don't know how to live righteously
But if we were never taught how can we learn?
Someone once told me to keep my legs shut,
They told me ladies know better.
They told me when their eyes not their lips.
They told me to keep my mouth closed.
They told me with their actions not their words.
But it doesn't matter now.
If you're going to say to me:
"You're from that generation"
I'll say to you:
"If you wanted to change us you should have taught us
If you wanted us to pave the way you should have shown us the starting Road
We were taught to sing praises to those who came before us.
But what for?"
1.2k · Sep 2013
EVS 195
Jade Elon Sep 2013
I don't learn in this class about anything I care about.
I want a story of trust and betrayal,
I want a story of everlasting pain
Hey, yeah you...
How's it going?
**I'll pass you love notes from now on in my best handwriting
1.0k · Sep 2013
Iris
Jade Elon Sep 2013
Iris
In the spring
She was a crier
Simple and sweet
She loved to say
"God bless"
And
"Sweetheart"
She loved to say
"Never leave me"
And hold tight to forgotten dreams.

Iris
In the summer
She laughed a lot
At other people's pain,
Innocently
She didn't understand the concept of tears
Water was water and it had been a dry year

Iris
In the fall
she locked her heart in a box
She made herself a small fortress
She let no one in
She knew it was easier to trust
When you're weak
And easier to get hurt

Iris
In the winter
She disappeared
She said,
"I'll be back when it's warmer."
She said,
"I'll be back for June."
She said,
"I won't be long."
She said,
"I'll be back for you."

Iris**
In the next year
The little box she left
Her heart in opened
And it said
"God bless"
And
"Sweetheart"
And
"I never left you"
930 · Jul 2014
airplane
Jade Elon Jul 2014
the contours of the land
and the
countenance of the sea
dip
     dip
show me
women dressed in lace zephyrs
hiding beneath the white
glare of the sun
897 · Sep 2013
=
Jade Elon Sep 2013
=
let's promote
inequality
promote boys falling in love faster than those of the more
dainty appearance
promote girls keeping their guard up & breaking the hearts of those of the more
macho appearance
let's promote
equality
promote kissing cousins
promote boys holding hands
promote girls laying entangled

*I'd like it if you held my hand & lied to me
842 · Sep 2013
Mental Breakdown
Jade Elon Sep 2013
It’s sorta like setting your house on fire. (HOTHOTHOT)...Not that you care right? Burning things is easy. Peaceful really and you remind me of jesus or some **** like that. I’ve been locked up for far too long with very little to do. Hey don’t you remember my name? I was the devil on your shoulder but the angel whispering in your ear:

I love you but love is for the weak. I want you but I always want what I can’t have.

Let’s be friends. Let’s be lovers. Let’s be colliding souls on the stairway to heaven. Let’s be forgotten. Let’s forget I even mentioned it.

And she bleeds to you know in her heart of gold. Well not really.

This emotion isn’t for the faint of heart.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Let’s be together forever in my dreams…

No. Let’s not.



I’d rather not have nightmares every night...
817 · Nov 2014
Causality
Jade Elon Nov 2014
Kissed collarbones
Bruised lips
You told me about the gifts you had for me
(I'll keep everyone)
The love letter written on the back of a napkin
We have been in love more ways than there are words to describe:
Passionately
Bitterly
Yearningly
Miserably
Tenderly
Dis­astrously
Continuously
No matter how many times we pull apart
The elastic bands around our hearts snap us back together
High force collisions always end spectacularly
You've given me countless gifts
And I'll keep them
*forever
Life and death have been in love
For longer than we have words to describe
Life sends countless gifts to death
And death keeps them forever


(saw this quote on the internet and decided to make a poem about it)
Jade Elon Apr 2014
Someone once said
"It's easy to take off your clothes and have ***. People do it all the time . But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, Thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams...that is being naked."
The impression of your fingers are indented on to my sides.
Your fingerprints tattooed into my forearms.
The silence, the baited breaths.
Sometimes I wonder what it would've been like if I laid still and breathed deeply. If I'd closed my eyes and watched fireflies flash on the other side Of my eyelids. I wonder what it would've been like to breath deeply and lie sweetly and forget. But mistakes make the person.
I roll over.
You look at me.
You blink.
*And it's like all the stars in your eyes died.
extended edition of laying down
786 · Sep 2013
MARGINS
Jade Elon Sep 2013
1.
i'll write you
a love
letter in
the
margins
of all my
papers
so you
know i
love you
way more
than you ever
think about
me.
have i
ever held
you so tightly?
let's talk
about me
i'm important
too
i love the
feeling of
your legs
warped
around
mine
& the sight
of clothes
scattered
all over
my floor....

2.
tell me
you love
me.
because i
love you.
almost
as much
as a liar
loves a
saint&
a angel
loves a
demon.
let's be
intermixed
let's be
yin&yan;;
let's
pretend
you let
me hold
your hand
for
five seconds
longer
than friends
but shorter
than lovers.
i like to
write love
notes in the
margins of
my heart
for you.
720 · Sep 2015
Crazy
Jade Elon Sep 2015
I wanted to tell you that I loved you but I didn't know the words. You seemed like the type who'd understand without me having to say anything. It's okay for you to be crazy as long as you're crazy for me. I just want someone to love me the same way the snake loves the mouse. [all consuming] I had a nightmare once that I laid myself out for you. As a feast; as an offering. And you said you weren’t hungry. I hope you have a nightmare were I lay myself out for you and you can’t stop eating, and you can’t stop eating, and you can’t stop eating, and you can’t stop eating, and you can’t stop eating, and you can’t stop eating and you can’t stop...
682 · Jul 2014
For you
Jade Elon Jul 2014
He smells like tobacco and sorrow. Sometimes I wonder if it's alright to fall in love with a mirage. You know that the only thing more painful than another mans name on her lips is one in her bed. Sometimes I wonder if it was your plan to fall in love so easily. With her drunken eyes and slurred words and to wake up in the morning thinking she'd be the same vision in white as she was in a red cocktail dress. The problem with society is that drunken mistresses don't always turn into sober wives. That sometimes you really can't make that '***' turn into a housewife. That if your ideals don't match and you push the issue then what? You're left heart broken and lost and hoping that she'll come back through the door wearing your t shirt and a smile. A man in love is a strange thing. A desperate man in love is a sad thing. I've realized that although I'm a woman (a biased woman, a sided woman, woman's woman) that sometimes it truly is men who deal with heartbreak the hardest. Either they break walls or break down.
You know who you are
679 · Sep 2013
Childhood
Jade Elon Sep 2013
And she called me a lover you know

In a fitful sleep she told me...


How it wasn't worth it
How I shouldn't do it

How I would regret it

But I packed up my demons and her with them and left 



You know if love is like the wind unpredictable and free

Then
Hate is like a blind man with a gun to your head

Or a old lady pickpocket

Or a pastor cursing god on a Wednesday

Or her when she smiled at me that smile that didn't reach her eyes and told me the stories of her life that never happened, or how she forgot or how she remembered or how she told me she loved me and the sting of the words made me bleed more than the feel of her gold ring on my soft skin. 



Oh god oh god oh god.


And she called me a dreamer you know

Long before I knew what dreams where

And
Long before I woke up.
675 · Apr 2014
Smite of God
Jade Elon Apr 2014
She came by talking and asking
asking and talking
She came by talking money
and asking for forgiveness
She came by thinking
money could buy happiness
and prosperity would
grant her the key to heaven
She came by lying
with her legs open
and cheating
with her heart closed
She came by crying
She came by
She came
and then she was gone.
654 · Sep 2015
j'amore
Jade Elon Sep 2015
I want to fall in love with you.
Not for the happily ever after but for the turmoil
and the pain
for the ability to sit
by your side and say
those three special words
for all that you are
because I enjoy your trials and tribulations
your angst and anger
your sorrow and sublime guilt
your tears on my shoulder and your arms around me
your sobs wracking my body
I want to fall in love with you
because isn't loving
something broken the most
beautiful
kind of love?
I want to love you like someone would a bird
caged but beautiful
wings clipped so you can only fly sort distances from me
I want to love you
for your dependence and
depression
I want to love you because
I want to love myself
But I can't...
641 · Jul 2014
human...
Jade Elon Jul 2014
it's in the nature of the beast
to want to eat
the weaker race&devour; them
                            with a single bite.
it's in the nature of the prey
to want to be eaten
by the stronger race&be; devoured
                                                        ­   with a single bite.
it's in the  nature of the human
to destroy the world
                                                           ­                               with a single bite.
or is it?
611 · Sep 2013
See Her Go
Jade Elon Sep 2013
It's the vibe, the same on you got when I put my hands around your throat, your midsection. People like to tell me I'm scary like the easy way. People like to tell me I'm beautiful, like the hard way. People like to tell me I'll see you again on the other side of the lake where my dreams will never reach because they are glass and I am glass and I am sorry for caring about the way you lied. I'll surround you throat, your midsection with a thousand liars hands and say hallelujah, I'll say didn't you know? Not everything is painful, not everything hurts like the smite of god. What did you do to deserve eternal damnation? You say you never kiss and tell but kissing cousins lie, they lie like stainless steal being scratch proof, and the feeling of tears on a Sunday. You...just forget I said anything and I'll go on forgetting your name.
605 · Apr 2014
Public Speaking
Jade Elon Apr 2014
people say you gotta
speak slowly
breath softly and
tell me you -----
people say you gotta
eat health
breath slowly and
tell me you -----
people say you gotta
move fluidly and be
sane and wild and free and tamed and cursed and blessed and everlasting and dedicated and happy and helpful and kind
and
speak softly
and
breath slowly
and
tell me,
please god tell me,
tell me
"I love you."
601 · Oct 2013
Hail to the V
Jade Elon Oct 2013
Soft skin pressed against soft skin pressed against rough memories/you know my love is tainted/he hangs me out to dry/ to see my blood run virginal and pure/softly, softly call my name/whisper how much you love me more than him/he hangs me out to dry/to see the tears run from my eyes/ soft baited breaths/ sing into my ear your praises/tell me how we can runaway/it's forbidden to love like this/run your soft hands through my wild hair/he hangs me out to dry/to see the tremors wrack my body/soft skin pressed against soft skin/soft lips against soft lips/soft touch against soft touch/softly, softly the heart beats/you know my love is tainted/your touch a reflection of mine/gentle and soothing/you a reflection of me/softly softly shallow my cries with your mouth/lay your forehead against mine/soft baited breaths/tell me how much you love me/
593 · Sep 2013
Shallow Waters
Jade Elon Sep 2013
And you've never understood this feeling
It's not love
I don't have the capacity
But if I don't have you I'll cry
No
If I don't have your attention
I'm a selfish creature by nature and you keep giving me what I want
But you're on the deep end while I'm in the kiddy pool

I try to stay in shallow waters were no sharks are so I don't get hurt.
585 · Sep 2013
Walking the Thin Line
Jade Elon Sep 2013
Walking the Thin Line

----------------------------

I love you, I love you, I love you


I love you like the feeling of snow against my bare feet

I love you like the feeling of rain at a wedding

I love you like the fog that covers cemeteries

I love you like the ghosts that I used to know

I love you like the lies that dot my eyes

I love you like the feeling of blood seeping from
a fresh wound

I love you like all those things I want to forget



"Everything remembered was made to be forgotten and I'm one more drink away from forgetting you had a name, I'll let your face blend into the walls and let the carpet consume me"



I love you, I love you, I love you.


But to love is to suffer
I hate to suffer
I hate to love


But weren't you the one that told me love and misery often come in pairs?

Or maybe that was a waking dream,

Or maybe that was a drifting nightmare.



I love you, I love you, I love you


But I love to love what I know is unattainable

And for that I hate you too
581 · Apr 2014
CatNip
Jade Elon Apr 2014
May the addictive
Properties
Consume you
So I don't have to.
You say,
"She doesn't know where she's going."
But I say
I don't know where
I came from.
If this is a 2 way street
Then I'd rather be on
The 1 way road
If I could say
Anything to you
It would be my
Name as you fall
Asleep at night.
560 · Apr 2014
You are a 9am math class
Jade Elon Apr 2014
I once saw you
sneaking out a girl's
window;
I didn't realize you
could climb that
well.
Sometimes
I wish you
thought I was
a princess in a
tower and you
were a prince
and my window
was the doorway
into your heart.
I just want to wear
your shirt around and
tell you how much I
love you.
But you don't care and
I don't care if you
don't feel the same.
My body is the
mid-west and
yours the
Mississippi traveling
along my edges.
558 · Apr 2014
Untitled
Jade Elon Apr 2014
If my mother read my poems
She would think I was in love.
I'd have to explain to her
"How could I be in love with anyone if I can't even love myself?"
If even the thought of love makes me sick
To the point I feel like going days without eating
Humanity has a notion of love
It's all consuming
             all powering
      all people want
But if I can't care for myself
How is it right that others expect me to care for them?
My mother, if I were to line my body
With my favorite quotes and phrases and lyrics,
Would think I was in love
But aren't love and hate closely alined?
Coiling around your body and gripping you till you don't know yourself
From your obsession
If my mother read my poems
She'd think I was in love
So deep in love that I've lost myself
So deep in love that I've found myself
So deep in love that I never had a self to begin with

If you see my mother read my poems.

*You'll see her cry
548 · Apr 2014
See Him Go
Jade Elon Apr 2014
It's the way you held my hand, my midsection. You whispered a thousand lairs tails into my hair. You like to say I'm hard like the good way, you're just easy like the bad way. You don't realize the only thing better than my love for you is my love for me. I know you don't care but if you could kiss my brow tomorrow then I might be able to love you today. You're too cute and cool and a narcissistic, self-centered ----------------- Hey, say you love me one more time. You go on forgetting my name and I'll go one writing
hearts around mine
with yours.
The "brother" poem to See Her Go.
535 · Dec 2013
Green Silk
Jade Elon Dec 2013
Green Silk
I told you
That
The sun blazes
West
The moon glows
East

Green Silk
Was it wrong
For me to lie about
Things better left
Unsaid?
The celestial transcended mind
Lacks the ability to
differentiate between
truth and hate
lies and love

Green Silk
A humming bird came
And stole my love,
                          My heart,
                                  My soul.
Since when were you that kind of monster?
Bellowing endless monster songs
Since when?

Green Silk
I'd promised you
A hundred,
A thousand,
A billions
Things
Pretty Things
Lovely Things
Hard Things
Honest Things
Dulcet Things
Nitid Things
But don't count on it
I'm as late as the shipment from Taiwan
The one from last year
Now do me a favor.
Cancel it.

Green Silk
I wasn't joking when I said
"I hate you more than anything"
To love is to suffer:
I hate to suffer
A woman travels down the wedding aisle
I open my mouth
To object
           To say my peace


And birds fly out**

-------
Nitid means color or bright
527 · Jul 2014
I sold my soul to a man
Jade Elon Jul 2014
For the glitz
For the glamour
For the ritz
For the passion
For the sentimental value
For the compassion
For the money
For the money
For the money
But never for the love
511 · Oct 2013
Untitled .001
Jade Elon Oct 2013
I'm sorry that I called myself beautiful it was uncalled for to play on your insecurities
I want to call you beautiful, wonderful, fantastic. I just want to call you. And if you didn't know
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Then you didn't know a lot: About
The sorry girls in the third floor bathroom. Who can't hold down their lunches like they are rumors and memories from past times spilling through lips painted red like stained glass into the ears of the all consuming toilet bowl. Or the girl filling her self up with anything within reach hoping to have there be padding in the empty spaces of her heart and masking the feelings that disillusioned her about the current area and caused her hope in her current generation to go down to .001. Or the girl who never knew that bleeding could be so raw, and painful and beautiful and a delusion of grader painted onto flesh toned walls. I'm sorry I prayed on you insecurities, it's not my fault you look so cute when you're vulnerable. I'm sorry that I can't play nice and I'm sorry I'm cruel to those I love the most.
511 · Sep 2013
Burning Coal
Jade Elon Sep 2013
Give me your love,
I'm needy.
I need you to need me
So I can ignore you
So I can forget pain
You're fine I guess
If you consider fine
a Broken jaw &
a ****** lip.
507 · Nov 2014
Air
Jade Elon Nov 2014
Air
I've forgotten how to breathe
I've forgotten how to breathe
I've forgotten how to breathe
I've forgotten how to breathe
You kiss me
'i-still-dont-have-enough-air'
(yet)
505 · Sep 2013
Back Then
Jade Elon Sep 2013
Momma is over here cryin'
And I'm dyin'
'If all you're goin' to do is cry please do it somewhere else'
Momma is over here cryin'
And I'm lyin'
'If all you're goin' to do is cry please do it somewhere else'
Momma is over here cryin'
And I'm tryin'
'If all you're goin' to do is cry'
{Oh}
'If all you're goin' to do is cry'
{Oh}
'If all you're goin' to do is cry'
{Oh}
'Please don' show nobody else'
503 · Sep 2013
Seamless
Jade Elon Sep 2013
I want to wrap you up in a blanket like quicksand and tell you a secret
One that's been whispered onto the lips of cursed sailors
I want to tell you
How much I love the way you lie
At night I lay awake and map out your face with the shadows on my ceiling
You might think I'm desperate
But that's only if
You believe desperation
Is eating away at your soul
Like a moth to a flame
And weak old cheese
But I love you
Like I love everything else
Like the feeling of glass in a fresh wound
500 · Jul 2014
Wedge
Jade Elon Jul 2014
stuck in-between a desolate
empty feeling;
waking up in the morning
the cold sheets,
and the sleeping angels under
the full moon
She sings in the morning
like an angel,
like a devil,
like a "no good"
the
         discarded
                            clothes
  by
           the
                                                                ­                                       Doorstep
499 · Sep 2015
Prisoner
Jade Elon Sep 2015
Lay me down in
your bed.
Surround me.
You reminded me
Once of the person
I wanted to be.
Self centered but
Self respecting
I've given away
So much of myself
To make others
Happy that I've
Forgotten why I'm
Always sad.
I've tired so hard to
Make you happy that
I've forgotten why
You
Never
Will
Be.
495 · Apr 2017
Untitled
Jade Elon Apr 2017
One day I wondered what it would be like to **** myself
Not because I wanted to die
But because I wasn't sure that I was living
But I knew if I died
My mother's world would crumble
And if I died
My sisters would have no one to look up to
And if I died
I wondered
Would anything I had done up until now have any meaning?
If I died
Had I done anything up until now that had any meaning?
And I wondered if I ever truly felt alive
Like people describe alive to be
Wind running through your hair, fast paced, quickened heartbeat, running through the streets barefoot, staying after the street lights come on, the "oh my god isn't that just great" moments
So I tried it
I tried to live fast
I tried to be reckless
Tried to experience the moments that took people's breath away
And all I realized was I felt more alive
At home with my family
Felt more alive
Reading a good book in the sun
Felt more alive doing things people said weren't living
Because life is what you make it
And some days I still wonder what it would be like to **** myself
And know the simplest way would to live a life I don't love
Jade Elon Jul 2014
I just need to lay down. And be quiet. And listen. And learn. And your beautiful eyes make me want to leave. If I had a choice I would rather be in love with the stars. Something you can't touch but can look at is better than something you can touch but won't look you in the eye. I want to write prose about the gap between my friends tights and the chafing between another's. (I don't love you.) I want someone else to miss your lips and tell you their secrets through mouth to mouth. God, you make me feel like an angel in hell. Can I lie about your honesties? You're not worth my time. One day I stood up and everything you told me fell down. But I already realize a long time ago that some humans aren't able to care for their own.
453 · Oct 2013
Like Nikki Said
Jade Elon Oct 2013
Let’s go someplace where religion doesn’t decide my temperament
Where everyone is already “blessed” and I don’t have to worry about “salvation”
I don’t like to think about “hard” stuff
I like to think about soft stuff; like feathers, or wind, or dying
And if could sleep forever I would
But like Nikki said: “that’s why mankind alone among the animals learns to cry.”
443 · Sep 2013
And I Love You
Jade Elon Sep 2013
sneak into my window
at 2am
have me hold you
tell me you love him
tell me how he broke your heart
i'll hold you & brush your hair
& say it will be okay
tell me how you're going
back in the morning
that you have a lunch date with him
and how the tears are worth it
tell me everything
i'll make you laugh
i'll make you smile

*God I Love Your Smile
401 · Apr 2014
Vanity (2 10w)
Jade Elon Apr 2014
I no longer
mistake your arrogance
for affection
(mirror, mirror)
-------------------------------
Don't mistake my
vanity
for affection
*(who's the fairest?* ME)
399 · Nov 2014
This place is a prison
Jade Elon Nov 2014
The slow thumb of the base reminds me of a heart beat/I lie naked on my floor wishing the carpet was your chest/I've been waiting 20 minutes/hours/days/I've been waiting forever for our idealistic future/Somedays I close my eyes and forget you never loved me anyway/It's not hard to be delusional/I wear your sweatshirt pretending to love someone/other than/the girl I was/before I became/the girl/
I/Created/For/You.
The title is of the song that I was listening to while writing this by The Postal Service
398 · Jul 2014
Incongruities
Jade Elon Jul 2014
some days I wonder
how I could fall in love with your
passionate words
but empty eyes
I never realized
that it was painful to see
you smile
I've been asked before
about my addictions
but everyone said it is impossible to
be addicted to your lies
or is it?
393 · Apr 2014
10 w1
Jade Elon Apr 2014
I have
the map
to your
heart.
But
no compass.
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