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 Apr 2014 Jack Turner
JJ Hutton
When I lived in the city, night, true night, never came.
The natural day gave way to the artificial day,
a day made possible by streetlight, by humming billboard.
With sick pinks and near-white greys, the early hours
hiccuped away. I slept or didn't. And this time in my life,
as any time in my life, is marked by a woman.

I won't say much about her. She was a performer,
and I've never been a steady fan of much of anything.
So when I kissed her the last time, I kissed her like it
was the last time, a kiss calibrated to say, "It's been."
When she kissed me the last time, she kissed me
like she didn't know it was the last time,
a kiss not so much a kiss as a mouth half-opened eternity,
where the sun didn't shine, nor was there night.
I hover over your words
not for perfections.

don't paint me an azure sky
cotton clouds
a field of sunflower
gold crests of afternoon waves
dark labyrinths
inner demons
or even angel faeries


for my life of half drawn images
half digested joys
faintly lit phantoms
rough edge
rugged walkway

write me out
a flawed poem
imperfected to the hilt
no structure
no style
wild jots of your thoughts
just like you and me

*flawed but heavenly!
I'm stupidly sad over a boy that's not mine.
I'm stupidly sad thinking of them waiting in line.
For a concert we never got to see,
An embodiment of you and me.
I know you held her hand,
and sang her those lyrics that now I can't stand.
Battling spite.
Those things we shared late late at night.
I'm stupidly sad over a boy that's not mine.
When will this heal?
Where's my bandaid of time?
a poem to be birthed. but possibly too late.  think on this some more. this isn't the poem it's supposed to be.
 Apr 2014 Jack Turner
SG Holter
He stood on her doorstep, flowers in hand.
In coat of his father's, resembling a man.
Still queenless a king, now he stands like a slave.
Flowers in hand, resembling a grave.
I hate being vulnerable.
It’s terrifying.
Letting go of those emotions
that you work so hard to hide.
Every day, at some point,
I have to force down negative
emotions at the thought that someone
might see and know that I am not
the strong person I show myself
to be. That I am weak and that
I am struggling.
I hate being vulnerable.
It entails opening up to someone
and telling them all those *****
little secrets that you desperately
seek to hide.
Being raw with someone.
But at the same time,
it sounds beautiful.
To be able to find someone
who you can be vulnerable with.
That trust.
That raw, unadulterated trust.
How can you know
when you have found the right person?
Can you know?
It’s terrifyingly beautiful.
I crave it.
I fear it.
Whatever I share could
be used against me.
They could laugh in my face and
mock my pain.
They could kick my dreams
in the dust or
never
speak
to
me
again.
I could be rejected.
But, I could be accepted.
I could be loved.
Respected.
Understood.
**It’s terrifying.
It’s beautiful.
I bought a dress that looks like the sea
I thought it could take me there
It pools, it waves, and it dances,
Blue with gold flecks, like when the sun kisses the surface

I bought a dress that looks like the sea
It ripples around me and I feel perfect,
Powerful, like she is
I could take down a hundred men with those waves

I bought a dress that looks like the sea
But when I wear it and I’m angry
I loathe you and I want to drown you
And I could, because I am the sea

I am the sea and I shall rock you to sleep;
I shall suffocate you and play with you
And the whole time I do it
I will be dancing.
I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself.
                                                              
No matter how many times I wipe your tears away
Or tell you how beautiful you are.
                                                                
You have to want to hear it and stop crying.

No matter how much I try make you smile
Or hug you close.

You have to want to smile and embrace me back.

No matter how much I wish I could save you.

The only person that can do that is you...
I just hope one day you actually decide to save yourself
 Apr 2014 Jack Turner
Legion
When you see her cry
     you get a rag,
a gentle delicate cloth.
                                        Lovingly grasp her hand
                                               and dab its tip;
                                       dry each tear as they come.
                                                           ­                               And ask each drop
                                                            ­                                   why it'd leave
                                                           ­                               such beautiful eyes.

  If she wishes
to be in the sky,
  tell her to go.
                              Take the sun ransom,
                              and replace its shining
                                    with her own.
                                                            ­          So you can see her every morning
                                                         ­                          and wish for her
                                                                ­                  return each night.

When you see her scars
  both visible and non-
    touch each gently.
                                             And remind her
                                       that each and every hurt
                                            she has survived,
                                                       ­                                 has only made her
                                                                ­                   that much more unique;
                                                         ­                              that much stronger.

  Show her that she
  is a special person
and is worthy of love.
                                     That she deserves the love
                                            she fears to give...
                                            show her so that
                                                            ­                     one day after you're gone
                                                            ­                      she can find the strength
                                                                ­                    to go on without you.

    Tell her that while
she might not be a goddess
far above worldly desires,
                                          that she is amazing,
                                         for just being herself
                                    for being that beautiful girl
                                                            ­                   who thinks herself damaged
                                                         ­                         when in truth she's just
                                                            ­                    a different kind of beautiful.

   And finally, love her.
  Like a boy loves a girl
Till she finally remembers
                                            that that's what she is:
                                          not a scar, not a goddess,
                                             not a star. But a girl.
                                                           ­                         That deserves to be loved.
To me only she leaves it
In turn I leave it to her
In our hiding holes of habit
Things don’t move any far.

In this funny game
Consensus is scarce
In the fear of blame
Taking a decision scares.

She tells me it’s for you to decide
Ways to cut the rising bills
How to stop our savings’ slide
Still have two square meals.


I tell her in your hands is the rein
To check unneeded outflow
Find some ways to build a gain
Some savings for the future to show.


She retorts don’t say you’ve no clue
The way I manage the pence
What you bring can hardly accrue
Any surplus post expense.


Things go on like they did before
With us never reaching a deal
Yet our lives happily soar
The way we lovingly will.
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