My love is my vice
I'm a wounded animal
Under your brute force

sodden fabric
twisted tautly
around a flawed
shaft

perforated drum
tumbles mixed
load damp
and tangled

each revolution
coins rain down
empty pockets
wave surrender

Think it's time to finish this story
Time to tell what has haunted me inside
Of 27 years of suffering
Staring back at another man inside
You've scared me for so long
I no longer want to run and hide
My reflection is what truly
Makes me terrified
I've asked myself questions
Since I was little, I've always asked why?
How can a man not love something
That's half of him and deny
The fact that pain will and forever
Last in this little boy's lies
Saying he's okay
When inside he's dark and so distant
Amongst so many people who love him
But his whole life he's felt so different
Wanting to just grow...
But the idea of you causes his resistance
He's never just came out and said it
What was wrong with me that you did so much wrong!?
Why couldn't I be proud of who I was!?
Why did you let me see what you did to mom?
Do you know what you've done?
Can you understand what you put me through?
Mind hasn't been the same
Since dealing and learning about you
Hatred turned my heart
So dark and so full of pain
My life has been confusing
At times I feel like my mind is insane
I won't ever stop asking
The question of "why am I half of you?"
I understand I took the qualities
That makes me nothing like you
But my cheeks soak my tears still
And I get these moments where I feel I can't hold on
I thank those men in my life
Who helped replace you and keep me so strong
But there is a scar that I...know will never heal
I know that life teaches you how
To make better from the cards that he deals
So for the first time in my life
I forgive you!
Please let me move on!
You've taken so much from us
But mommy and I are too strong
We've gained peace of mind now
And clarity has finally found our hearts
This piece is just for me to tell you
I'm not son and we're so far apart
I've brought joy to the people
Who love me and see me for myself
I've grown into a man
Who guides those who may need that help
I've become the person you weren't
And the man I'm proud to be...
A part of me will always wonder...
What was it that was wrong with me?
You'll never understand the...
Moments That I've grown from your misery
The first key is acceptance
Then I've learned to love my reflection
A little boy crying out loud
A man who brings him protection
So dear father I...
I wanna tell you this as the truth
Anyone can be a father but just being a dad is something you couldn't even do
Your name has haunted me
It's brought blood straight to my eyes
Your ways have brought to my heart
27 years of living a lie
I'm freezing my soul now
And getting past what I never thought I could do
Mommy told me this and I believe it now
I'm not a single part of you.
So dear bland Simpkins you better hear me
Listen to every word that I say
This piece has allowed me to officially be free now
My honesty has finally pushed you away
Thank you for teaching me
Lessons that will help propel my life
Who I'm becoming is a blessing
And I'm doing all I can right
So the man in the mirror I shatter your reflection
I smile and tell you this eye to eye
Thank you for everything
Thank you for showing me how to never be that kind of guy
Dear father, dear dad, dear donor
This is my freedom - this is my final piece - this is forever...goodbye.

(Please never comeback - I'm free now)

Always pay attention
When someone else is speaking
If it didn't mean something to them
They wouldn’t talk about it at all

Always listen closely
For the answers you are seeking,
May be closer than you think
Found in the ramblings of that call

Imagine if you will
A world where everyone cared
Where they leaned ear in intently
Instead of filling our heads with doubt

Maybe we'd all be happier;
Collectively less scared
We could solve all of life's problems
If we just heard everybody out

You see confidence builds greatness
Yet we continue to put each other down
Jealousy and rage keep us from turning the page
Even when the story could teach us something profound

I am prey to the unyielding Sun
here in this open field
void of shade
holding precious pieces
untouched for 140 years
200 acres of Virginia farmland beneath my feet
where bullets flew
where strong men screamed
and the soil looked as if it had rained blood
death can come quickly or painfully slow

A soldier rips the Eagle breastplate from his chest
and throws it to the ground where I am standing
and here in the sweltering heat
of a calm June afternoon
I pull it from its resting place
no longer shining
140 years removed
from the failing heart
beneath it