I killed myself long ago
I kicked the chair, swallowed the
pill, slit my wrist and pulled the trigger
all at once
Then
for good measure
I led my ghost to the water with rocks in its pocket
And yet I'm still here

I cracked under pressure a while back
I let my madness show and scared
everyone half to death
Then
for good measure
I jumped off the cliff of sanity into my insane descent
And yet I'm still here

Something held me back.
I think something held me up, flushed
the chemicals, stitched my skin and
jammed the gun all at once.
And then
for good measure
went insane with me

But that something was a someone.
A someone who did all of it without knowing
Without knowing their smile
could lift my day, hold me up and give
me hope all at once
And then
for good measure
leave me with fading scent of their ****** perfection
Lest we forget, you're still here

There’s no need to cut me open,
Sit still for just a moment  
and I will show you my scars,
If you want to see them,
You can compare them to yours,
Our stories
Are very different
And I’m not going to pretend like to know me
You have to always be my friend,
Take me for whatever it is you wanted to
and
Stay as long as you wish
And leave when you don’t.
Show me what you want to let me know
And see what I have to say
Don’t give me empty promise

Do not promise me you’ll stay.
And I will learn something of you and
Find something in myself,
Maybe even something I couldn’t find in anybody else

And I will be grateful
But I will miss you when you’re gone
And soon enough another lonely
Will finally come along
And look at me and see themselves.

And I will say quickly before they cut me with there tongue…
There’s no need to cut me open,
Sit still for just a moment
and I will show you my scars,
If you want to see them,
You can compare them to yours,
Our stories
Are very different
And still very much the same,
If you question if you’re crazy
That’s a sign that your still sane.

Are you looking for validation?
Are you looking for the truth?
Are you looking for a person
To guide you on the way,
Are you looking for a promise
that someone here will stay?
Are you even asking questions or
are you just floating along
Blaming your surroundings
For the things that go all wrong?
I would like to know the answers
To all the questions I can ask
And of the ones you’ll answer
Ill paint the pictures of my future,
And Ill illuminate my past.
And in this grand adventure
I’ll make your answers last.

So just know
There’s no need to cut me open,
Sit still for just a moment  
and I will show you my scars,
If you want to see them,
You can compare them to yours,
Our stories
Are very different
But we are all the same
We just call our daemons
Very different things
And know in our disclosure
Ill never say a name.

It was kind of like you were injecting me with yourself
Except you keep missing the vein.

The bruises on my arms became the out-played artsy reminder of your actuality
Though you made sure that when the reminder faded and healed you were right there to bring me back into your world of needles and twisted gravity

What makes you think you can leave for weeks
You're standing near but you've never been further away from my desperate grasp

The withdrawal of you is excruciating
Like a recovering alcoholic in a liquor store except there's no automatic door or transparent window to reveal a salvation on the other side.

The only salvation is taking another hit of you
So, that is what I shall do
Until the day I overdose on your *intoxication .