I'll show you all the cracks,
in your feeble facade.
Just shortly before I see it erased,
with psychological grenades.
Don't you know?
I've got x-ray eyes,
They see into your heart
and find the skeletons you hide.
I don't require knives to see you filleted,
I'll verbally split your middle,
expose your doubts and your shames.
I'll flush out every fallacy,
stop the production.
My words and my mind will see your destruction.

I'd like to pretend I lean in and kiss you
I'd like to pretend I look like her,
I'd like to pretend everyone looks at me
But in reality I'm just a girl in a Steamboat Sweatshirt
With a dorky smile that makes her face wrinkle
Who is ignored more than she'll admit
And still winces slightly when seeing a mirror
But I think I'll go back to pretending
It's much more fun anyways...

When it's pitch black in the mind

Seeking.

Looking for something?
You're afraid of something, I know so.
It's the one thing I always know,
People's greatest fears:

Yours is that no one will ever believe in you.
And worst of all, you're afraid 
you'll never know why.

Why you? Why were you chosen
to be like this?
Everything you wanted to know,
in this little box.

Why did you end up like this,
unseen?
Unable to reach out to anyone?
You want the answers so badly
you want to grab them
and fly off with them
But you are afraid:

Afraid of what they will think
Afraid of disappointing them
But ease your mind about one thing
they will never accept you, not really
after all, you are not one of them.

You don't know what I am!
Of course I do.
You make a mess wherever you go.
Why, you're doing it right now.
What did you do?
More to the point, Jack,
What did you do!?


Disbelieving.

I thought this might happen
they never really believed in you.
I was just trying to show you that.
But I understand.
You don't understand anything!
No!? I don't understand 
what it's like to be outcast?
to not be believed in?
to long for a family?

All those years in the shadows, I thought
no one else knows what this feels like.
But now I see I was wrong
You don't have to be alone.
I believe in you and
I know children will too
Look what together we can do.

No! That's not what I want!
And for the last time,
Leave me alone!

Very well, you want
to be left alone.
Done! But first, - - -*




●○
°

I once set down my pen,
and with free fists equipped,
a sword.
Utter savagery and violence,
the mantle I adorned.
It's long been sheathed
but woe is me
the living and the scorned.
Hands forever bloodied,
words immutably,
forlorn.

we slept to drugs and loud music
hopping in cars, drinking beers, cutting our hair
with stick and poke tattoos that faded and
lips that's touched each other's and the taste
of salt from tears and she's a sunset,
she's the greeting to the moon coming home
she's the safety and comfort of a lover and
the anger and hope of a parent

we fell to soft, kind boys at the same time
with bandaged hearts and arms holding to
each other for strength and love
with big ideas and dreams and
stars in our eyes to match and
i am the sunrise, the kiss goodbye when
he leaves for work or school or for
another woman and i am the joy of a
child for exciting news and warmth of a
mother for devastation and we're full of
so much love.

she the waxing moon and i, waning
and we compliment each other to make
one big light that floods the ground with
sparkles in our energy

I wish to walk into a field of grass
Running my fingers through the tips, 
I wish to take long walks on the beach
And watching the sunset laying in the sand
I want to have picnics in the grass, where it's calm, listening to the birds chirp, and the leaves bristle against eachother, while I sip tea
Walking along the ocean line and smelling the ocean