I miss her, yet I cannot forget her.
Like echoes of a time long gone.
Silence is my reality.
Try as I might she still holds my mind tight.
Is it her fault for being so captivating?
Maybe it is my own doing, for loving her too deeply.
I feel lost in a lake of dreams.
Dreams haunted with her presence, and nightmares filled with her absence.
She has forgotten me.
Now I am the only scribe left to keep our memory alive. So I write on.
I will not forget these memories, nor will I stop dreaming of a fantasy no longer attainable.
I will forever chase these memories of a dream long gone.

Don't cry, this kiss is a kiss goodbye.
Don't cling, it's time to part.
Don't look at me nor ask me why
I've taken back my heart.

No questioning, no pleading;
No door remains ajar.
No doubt your heart is bleeding
Now, and wounds of love will scar.

Don't hope to ever turn back time,
Nor resurrect the flame
Of what became a pantomime
Of love, in all but name.

Even the sun-clouds this morning cannot manage such skirts.
Nor the woman in the ambulance
Whose red heart blooms through her coat so astoundingly ----

A gift, a love gift
Utterly unasked for
By a sky

Palely and flamily
Igniting its carbon monoxides, by eyes
Dulled to a halt under bowlers.

O my God, what am I
That these late mouths should cry open
In a forest of frost, in a dawn of cornflowers.

All my life I was breathing in the poison air of self-judgement.
The kind that sticks to heart and aura,
bringing heartache in my journey.

Within my intake breath,
judgment of being stupid lodged, causing others to agree.

Within my out take breath,
judgement of not being pretty lodged, as others agreed.

In childhood insecurities plagued, as many teased and touched.
In adolescence fears plagued, as others kept their distance.
In adulthood, I gave my power away, and others took it.

Until light came into self to awake inside heart.

Until heart showed  my true divine self.

Now I breathe in clean air celebrating
connected to source energy.

Now I love myself to feel free at last.

0517

I saw you
And your head held high
But was never pride.

I heard you
And your words tore me down
But it was never a waste of time.

I closed my eyes
And I had my eyes open
I can never have you
So now, I disowned you.

Every sunset is one that bleeds within
my perception, I don't no why its
just like seeing my syllables dissipate
into a  hue of clarity. I'm a pill away from
ending it, to find its different in my mind.

My collected conciseness that rises luminous,
but then dissolving as its brightness
falls into a void of white stones descending
into the nothingness inside of me.  
I'm close to something beyond my perception.

I'm not linguistically challenged,
but I'm one pill away from ending
it. I've collected my memories upon
this discoloured white, and its just
a button from fading to nullity.

There's times in life we're just not sure,
   which way is best to go;
Those times when life seems far to hard,
    in life we're dealt a blow

We may not see the light to come,
   the end seems far away;
Life really seems not worth it now,
   to wake up one more day.

I know it's hard, I've been there too,
   where dying would bring peace;
Where not one thing could make me smile,
   no help the pain could ease.

Just hear me out, I've got some news,
   I finally found the way,
To stand up strong, to live again,
   to face another day.

I gave it all to God Himself,
   let Jesus fight my war;
And that He did, He fought for me,
   this war and many more!

Now every day I give Him thanks,
   for guidance from above;
For keeping me so safe from harm,
   wrapped in His Wings of Love.