It's funny because as poetic as I am
And how much time I spent thinking of him in the wee hours of the night
I could still only think of one word to describe him
And that word
Is
Heartless.

It only bothers me when I'm alone
And I think about it

Is swallowing me again
No one understands
And I wanna go away


Far far away
Alone and content
Warm and Lonely with only myself to comfort

I wanna go away
Away from the madness and gossip
Away from ugly judgmentals who torment my emotions

I wanna go away
And sometimes I wish I didn't need people because on my own id be gone
And alone In A Dark Whole.

" Forever "

Is just another ordinary word that's used to put a temporary smile on our faces.

There is no greater love
Then a love that was meant to be.

Lately I'm lost

More lost then ever before |

The way you left the relationship just shows the type of person you really are.

I get attached to things, places, people, You.
all things I always eventually loose.

I'm in love with the air in the morning
And the chilly winds at night
I love the honesty that escapes from you when you've had way to much alcohol
My heart flutters at the sweet couples who express there love publicly
Smoothies taste especially good in the summertime
I'm in love with weird things and strangers and the idea of you

Not being pretty enough
Or not feeling good enough
Or just simply not being "enough" for someone has got to be the worst feeling in the universe.

Right now things seem the same but months from now where gonna say they were so different ~

I was always hopeful.

He didn't understand why I liked storms
But what he never realized is that
Everytime he left me
I felt like one

A black and white setting is what reaches my vision
Blurred voices going back and forth

I was here and it was two of me
One stading next to him and the other me watching this all play out

His eyes were wet and red pleading me to say something
But I was speechless
needless to say a heartbreak goes a long way
Big or small
There were still things I should have said
Things like

I need you
We've connected in so many ways
You woke up a part of me that I thought never existed
I thought you would be to good to be true because your everything that I've always wanted
Your all I have, all I want
And I love you.

Now your gone and this hurts because these are things that I should have said :(

Everyone told me it feels so good
But no one said it would hurt so terribly bad

Love is suppose to be breathtakingly amazing
The reason for life
Not the reason for death
as I let my feelings take control of my mind
The darkness swallows me whole
But im not scared
because you are the darkness
My light in the dark
While im counting the stars
Your the moon watching over me
My protector

What is it about anger
That makes our fear disappear?

A bittersweet soothing event that terrifies yet amazes me.

You all say that I am very close to my deliverance

But I feel as though I am farther then ever before.

Every time I think it's getting better
It gets worse

I truly hated my name
Until my ears got the pleasure of hearing it come from your sweet lips

It's really sad isn't it?
I'm tired of complaining I want things to change right now, you don't want me I get it I promise I'm trying to except that,
I wanna cry now and get it over with but I know that tears only come to my eyes when I'm overwhelmed with millions of others things and I crash with all of my emotions at once,

Oh wait *


My eyes are tearing up right now because I'm thinking of the girl that you've chosen over me,
She must be prettier, I get it, trust me i do
But it's just tragic you know?
I never get exactly what I want
Something always goes wrong I always find myself back in this black whole, this blank space, this emptiness and fulfilling darkness.


No no I'm not jealous
She's really lucky though, she gets to see that smile of yours everyday and watch you dribble a basketball through your legs and show off knowing your watching him, he loves it, he loves showing off for the girls,
I just don't get it though, what is wrong with Me? People please stop it when you say looks don't really matter, Looks are what catches others attention,
"Looks" are part of the reason you chose her over me, well that and the fact that your stupid friends hate me.

I'm angry darling,
I'm angry that I'm never good enough, not for you or for anyone
I've never really done anything wrong to anyone
I'm not 100% innocent but I'm not like any other teenager
I've been through hell and I'm still finding my way back to the closest place to heaven.



I'm sorry...I'm ranting now But I need express this heartbreak, this depression, this blank space, and these cigarettes and straight ***** aren't helping.

Ever want to runaway, but you have no where to go?

If only we could wish the bad memories away...
My mind would be pure Again.

Nothing saddens me more than
Knowing that our love was so
Weak
That you went to go get what I have
From another girl

Like the love you have for me
That smile that stays attached to your face in my presence
I know I give you a rush
I make your heart feel a little bit better each day
And I'm not use to this love
I've never met anyone like you so please forgive me when I push you away
I'm being selfish I'm sorry
You told me that when I ignore you it makes your heart hurt
I'm sorry for that too
I keep thinking this is to good to be true, maybe it is or maybe I need to just let myself fall helplessly in love with you without any fear
Like you did with me

Your face which was my coffee in the morning
That voice that was my lullaby at night
Those hands that soothed my soul
Your lips that made my skin burn
Your heart that belonged to mine
Will always love you

Inhale

               Exhale


I watch you as you walk with your shoulders and your head held high
So much confidence you leave in your footsteps
the smile you give to the world and the 'Feeling' you leave with people in your absence
I hear the way you speak,
Your deep baritone with so wisdom in your voice like you've been living on the earth for 100 years instead of 18


You didn't think Id notice but when you were walking I saw the falter in your step,
The way your head kind of sunk low and you walked as if you had the weight of the world on your shoulders
Instead of confidence in your footsteps I saw the cigarettes in yours tracks leading to the abondoned shack where you scream your suffering to the world,
I remember hearing you speak to the people and they heard a smart man speaking but I heard a man who was confused and scared that he might not make it to see the next day,
You've been living on this cruel cruel world for 18 years but you wished that you haven't witnessed not even 1,
Your sad, your scared, your hopeless but your not alone.

Oh sweet sweet boy, how you thought you tricked the world.

I don't want the memory to disappear

I just don't want to think about it.

Is it when your innocence has fled that you are no longer as pure as you use to be? Are you not as poetic as you use to be?

Are you even the same person?

I was in a situation where I didn't know if I should leave and do what makes me happy ,
Or stay in this uncomfortable situation and learn something.

And if he leaves me, I'll die.

Why are you making me feel so ashamed
For falling so deeply in love?

Is it because you know that it is a momentary thing?
That it will be over in a blink of an eye? Because if that's your reason then I'm scared too..
I know loving every single little thing about a person is a dangerous thing.

Oh what a beautiful sight death has become .

I miss you
Even when your sitting right here in my face.

To me it's seems that it takes months for a guy to admit he's in love

While girls, it'll only take one look

And she knows

I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
I cant
I can't
I can't



(Try Again)


I can.

"You're  too young!"


                             "You're  too old"



"You're  too wild!"
  
      
                                        "You're  super boring!"


You're  always gonna be "too much" of something to someone. Don't let them make you afraid to be yourself!

Oh and some people Are not gonna like you but who the **** cares?

Getting your heart broken feels like a nightmare that you actually have to live in.

Getting your heart broken is terrible
But don't let it ruin you
Cry about it for a week
Then get on with your life.

I can even feel the distance far away
When where texting.

Sorry for those nights when your eyes cried and you couldn't think of one reason to smile
You didn't deserve to be left alone with your thoughts which were attacking your conscious and making your insides bleed  
The feeling of fire burning in your veins is from that last conversation you had with the love of your life
And I'm sorry that you can't forget any of the details of what you've been through but your life is not over, you can not give up.

I would love to explore the world

But only if im hand in hand

With someone i love

& that would mean this was all worth it.

The moment you let people's opinions about you hurt your feelings
Just know that your giving them full control over you and the way you feel about yourself.

Is every mistake forgivable?