indigochild

indigochild Dec 2018

virtual reality isn't reality

texts can’t hold my hands
screens can’t press our lips

but for now i'll just have to feel you through the phone

#longdistance #far #apart

indigochild Dec 2018

goodbye was never enough

i hope to forgive you as easily as it was for you to hurt me

#toxicrelationship #hurt #heartbreak

indigochild Dec 2018

foster care

When we were younger and didn’t really know how the world worked, we heard the story of our parents going into a patch and choosing their baby.

I often tell my family that I went into a patch and choose them.

#fostercare #adoption

indigochild Dec 2018

vegan

i eat the earth because i long to be a tree

#vegan #trees

indigochild Dec 2018

mermaids love mermaids

I loved you but not in the way where
Your body becomes an ocean under my palm
And your tongue becomes the treasure I have to find
And your hands become the gasp of air before I drown in your moans

I loved you but
Your body has no cave to dive into who’s walls are filled with the wetness of the ocean breeze from your breath on my neck
And your chest has no curves like crystals on the sea floor I swim to just to hold them
And you have no gills that protect the entrance in which you breathe life from
No gills in which you must rub the right direction

I loved you but you are the man on Earth and I belong with the mermaids under the sea

#gay #lesbian #lgbtqia #loveislove

indigochild Dec 2018

crumbled paper 2

Am I a crumpled sheet of paper in the hands of my predators?
We are told a crumble sheet of paper can never be the same again.

My own thoughts strangled my voice as my body refused to listen to my brain
“No” did not come out. Apparently my kicking was not enough.

To touch my skin felt like fire burning through my veins, fire that ignited my predator
I never knew a sensual touch could feel so haunting.

Hopelessly sinking into the bed that became an ocean, water drowning me and continuously pulling me further down
Maybe if I surrender my body it will go faster.

Words disintegrating from my lips with the ashes of consent and destroying my trust for any human to touch my skin
How can I let another be this close when all I feel is you again?

Circling the drain of intimacy
I remember what your hands felt like. What if theirs feel the same?

I wear the damage like an extra layer of skin
This is deeper than just ***. How can I love again? How can I trust again?

My body used against me more than the number of fingers on my hand
Do I tell them? What if their afraid to touch me? What if I’m afraid to touch them?

They have to go.

#sexualassault #**** #metoo

indigochild Dec 2018

dark abyss

If only you knew what captured me at night
And pulled me into its dark abyss

Feeling, yet again, the struggle and fight
And the horrors that trace my lips

Snakes slithering out of my mouth
Spiders crawling underneath my skin

It clouds my eyes judgment
Praying away the Devils sin

If only you knew what captured me at night
Yet morning comes, and I see it grow

Feeling, yet again, the struggle and fight
Squeezing me tight and doesn’t let go

#mentalhealth #anxiety #abuse

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