If it doesn't set your insides on fire, is it really love?

John. I haven't read one letter since you left. I'm scared to open an envelope and see the same note you left before you let your dreams, goals, days all hang from a rope. To be honest I don't know what it was that you needed to hear, what words could've saved your life. But I can say that old coffee shop feels emptier. My room feels colder. My eyes look darker. I don't smile at seasons changing anymore. I've been avoiding all mirrors because I can't bare to see myself without you.
    You were the best person I've ever met. It almost seemed unfair that I let such a perfect person be with a broken mess like me. You were so funny and the way your eyes lit up when you told a story...Oh God. I'm not religious but when you looked at me that way I thought we were both going to hell. Your laugh was all I needed to make a bad day better, oh what I would do to make you laugh.
   I know you hated long car rides and you knew I hated distance. Who knew 6 feet could feel longer than 100,000 miles.? Because now you're resting underground and I don't sleep without sleeping pills. I miss you so much. I miss you. I miss you.

i feel you with me
especially when i'm blue
i remember
the simple words you offered
that told me you cared
i know it was difficult
for you, sometimes
showing compassion
   encouragement
     love
but i never doubted it
and i always, always felt it
my hurt was your hurt
my desperation was your desperation
my happiness blazed in your eyes
i will never be loved like that again
i will never feel as secure as i did with you
i miss you, dad
i miss your solidness
your quiet
the comfort i got
when you reached for my son

yes, the good die young
   and you...
you were one of the best.

The people who set me on fire
to see me burn
Ask me why i glow
They're the ones who fill my ashes in an urn
to throw
And they are the ones who say i do not know
anything about love...
For all i know , all i know is love
not hatred upside down
And my ego gets diluted
as i rise in love unbound
For all i know,  
i do not know anything else but love
And that's why i glow
so don't ask me why
Just drop my ashes
and let every speck fly...
And forget my name
or i ever was

people always have so much time to judge others

well in my case I don't have enough time to judge myself

feeling jealous of people who had enough time to judge others

Lets talk about making love
Ill dance for you from above
Carve my layers against yours
Let my lips kiss your scars

I always weaken from the depth
Sweet warm skin around your neck
Let me drown you in pleasure
Tasteful than a winter flower

Drifting away, waiting in vain

In this shaded room we created
My mind and yours are fated
Living inside these quiet sheets
Our desperate bodies finally meet

Never shy away from my stare
Breathe me in like toxic air
Slowly weeping, tongues tied
Im on my knees, weak and tired

Lets talk about making love
Then maybe someday-
you'll finally look at me

Drifting away, waiting in vain