01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself

02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself

I dreamed of you,
you and your glorious spirit,
infectious and dangerous

I dreamed of you who is not mine,
of our times archived,
distant as if long lost and forgotten

I dreamed of you and our strong ties,
as if we're still together,
and times are easy

I dreamed of you and I long for you
as much as dreams don't make sense
feelings are true yet they deceive often
Wishes are only wishes,
I know

Not today,
for these 24 hours I will wallow in my memories of you,
of our odd encounters
basking in my sentiments,
before you leave again
just like I did before

I enjoy my job
Even though it's not full time

My stomach is full
It's giving me a sign

To stop eating

The days they keep repeating

All alone
All alone

Americans
Are isolated
And all alone

In other countries
People have more friends

Good wishes to
The poets of this site
I send

I used to have three friends
But now down to one

I used to make an effort
With the other two

Tried to meet up with them

There is nothing I can do

I won't bother to call anymore

There just people I suppose
And I'm not sore

15 years of being friends
Now I suppose our friendship
Will end

Seems they won't bother
And don't care

I'm not angry
So there

You sit and wait.
You wait for something.
Something else to awake you.
To awake you inside.

You wait and sit.
You sit for anything.
Anything to incite you.
To incite you to get up.

You're there and here,
Here and there.
You want to be full,
or empty at best.

You start to pray,
even though you don't believe.
At some point,
You believe that you believe.

You're a mess,
A mess in this place.
But in the end,
You're all you've ever been.

Don't pretend like it's all gonna end,
when it's right about to start.

And don't give in
to the "less than them,"
when they don't know the first thing about a heart.

We tend to forget exactly where it was we came from.

Those people that died, those people that cried, they were real.

Move on, make more memories until you become one yourself, but never, ever, forget where you came from.