One year,
     nine months,
          nine days.

You walked into my life
and turned it on its head.
You taught me what love was
and what love wasn't.
You showed me
how to save myself from
the darkness in my mind.
And in return, I gave you
a piece of my heart.

You gave me a forever in 648 days.

But ultimately,
you showed me that
everyone leaves eventually.

And as hard as it is to believe,
goodbyes(or lack there of) are a forever too.

It's hard to wait for something that may never come
It's hard to hear the tune of a song that's never sung
It's hard to not let go
When you're hanging by a thread

When you push feelings back so they don't enter your mind
You push things away that are meant to live inside
When you put yourself in charge and think that you're done
You realize the one that should be in charge is The One.

Sometimes He calls to us in a roar
Sometimes I can't hear Him while the rain pours
I know He just wants me to hold on to hope
But that's a hard thing to cling to when you don't even know how to cope

I wonder sometimes if this hard road will end
I feel often unsure of the twists and the bends
This body of mine is feeble and weak
But He is the strong one and I know He will speak

And this I have pondered many a day
Why I can't let this go, I cannot say
But this is one thing I know and I treasure
Whenever I fall, He says to me and all the world, "I will catch her."

You lack emotion in your eyes
I can see all the fears you face
All the tears you've cried
I see it in your eyes
You hide the pain
I'll never let you deal with it alone
I'll be right here
If you'll let me
I'll sit outside the door when you cannot bare to talk
I'll be right here
Picking up the broken pieces
No matter how many times it takes
I'll fix you
I'll love you
If you let me
And even then I will still try
I'll be right here
To show you the love you lost
When everything seems to fall away
And hope begins to fray
Don't believe all the lies
Meant to bring you down
I will always be right here
I'll show you the way out
When the way seems so far
Let me love you when you break
Just take my hand

When every part of my body aches
And all my clothes are soaked through with rain
I cry and beg and pray
That you could just be here for 5 minutes
To kiss my tears away
To tuck me in
And say you love me
But I'm alone
In the dark
Crying and shivering

i held you so tight and maybe that's why you broke free

you were everything
and i hate that you still are
even after you have her
and me lined up for when she
gets tired of you
or the other way around
and what do i have?
well i have an empty chest
and a couple pills
i've got the hope that i'm holding on to
(for whatever reason)
that you might
come back
i've got self doubt
and chewed down nails
bleeding knuckles
and a hazey mind
wow, it must seem like i have a lot
but i don't have everything
because everything doesn't
want me