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Cold hands
Cold food
Cold blankets
Cold room
Cold house
Cold metal
Cold
  Jan 2015 iffahnabilah
Kataleya
Love her like
She's the raging sea,
Unrestrained and dark and deep.
And you crave her touch
Through aching pores
As you slowly drown in sleep.

Love her like
She's the tender storm,
A lovely shade of grey.
Like with every whiff
Of breath she takes,
She's taking yours away.

Love her like
She's the silent clouds
With calmness floating by.
Like you'd want to make
Sweet love to her
Under the moon's apocalyptic eye.

Love her like
She's the blazing fire,
And you lust the candied pain.
Like she's the disease
That swallowed you whole
And you'd like to die again.

When her gentle touch
Makes your chest explode,
And your addiction is your girl.
Promise you'll love her
Through hell and back,
Or don't you dare love her at all.
  Jan 2015 iffahnabilah
bcg poetry
Home is supposed to be safe
Home isn't supposed to desert you
Home is supposed to love you unconditionally
Home isn't supposed to make you want to pull out the blade
Hope is supposed to be comfortable
Home isn't supposed to require little white pills
Home is supposed to be you
Home isn't supposed to be killing me
iffahnabilah Jan 2015
Experiencing deaths are a lot like break ups
but you'll feel emptier.
Instead of him laying lips with another woman,
she kisses soil 6 feet under.
When you lose him,
he is still living in the same world-
just not yours.
When i lost my mother,
her pieces found
in the
milky way, the sun, that flower,
my heart.
But she, isn't in this world.
When you lost him,
you lost your entire world.
When i lost my mother,
my grandma lost a daughter,
her brothers lost a sister,
our worlds crashed apart.
When you lost him to another woman,
i lost her to God.
When you created a hurricane in your room,
glass shattered, things thrown,
i plucked weeds off her grave.
I will never see her down the street one day.
Or listen to her voice, or remember how goodnight kisses from my mum ever felt like.
When you lost him to another woman,
you'll meet many more him-s.
When i lost my mum to God,
i lost everything.

(FAH)
iffahnabilah Jan 2015
I wanted to **** myself,
and you were screaming,
about ***** dishes.
It's okay if you don't understand,
just know that,
you don't owe me anything.
Let me catch my breath,
before you seal it again.
I should be dead by now.

(FAH)
truly inspired.
iffahnabilah Jan 2015
When i'm gone,
i'd have removed all traces of myself.
You won't smell the stench of my odour lingering, always waiting,
you'll smell the scent of my dead body.
And none of you,
not a single soul,
shall shed a tear for me.
When i'm gone,
all my intentions and hopes
will scatter and bleed
along with my body.
And none of you,
not a single soul,
will resolve matters with me.
And that is ******* fine,
because when i'm still alive,
nothing is right either.
When i'm gone,
there won't be my clothings for you to hug to sleep,
or a single belonging of mine to put you in place.
Only then,
everything i've done for all of you,
all of my
hidden intentions and obvious indirects,
will be of your understanding.
soon.

(FAH)
iffahnabilah Dec 2014
" if i give up now, what have i been fighting for all this while? "
Nothing.
Because what i fought for,
never fought back for me.
I wonder,
how much of what weighs me down,
is not mine to carry.
At one point,
i thought i've lost everything.
'Till i realised,
i've forgotten to count my blessings.
I've been so consumed with something,
that i forgot anything at all.
Through it all,
it shouldn't have happened,
but you let it.
The best medicine,
is just to let you win.
4-word conclusion:
Whatever's best for you.

( FAH )
some parts are inspired.
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