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 May 2014 Helseivich
madison
really.
 May 2014 Helseivich
madison
honestly,
it isnt okay.

i say it is,
because i dont want to annoy.

i constantly say,
'it's okay..'
'really.'
 May 2014 Helseivich
madison
sorry,
i cannot save you.

i can barely save myself.
the universe cries for me
I stare awestruck
numb and
poisoned
i'm sickened at what
once was
and i'm grieving
what is yet to
come.

I lay my flowers at
the grave
of those
who wrote before
me

and gently weep.
Quiet love
Covert love
Undetectable by the human eye
But the heart knows better
Pounding, screaming love
And silence
I lock up my feelings
Nonchalant
Not a word from my lips
Not a hint or clue
My secret kept
In the chamber of a rib cage
Bars and locks
A life sentence on my emotions
Only death will free me
Or a judge
If you chose to delve inside
And unlock my deepest, darkest
Innermost heartstrings
If you are willing to try
I am willing to give you the key
maybe
maybe I just really want
to have someone.
a warm body
to hold
soft lips to kiss
and eyes
to stare deeply into.
maybe
maybe I just really want
to have someone
to fall
fully and completely
in
crazy
love
with.
maybe
maybe it is everything I've ever wished for.
I wish you could be here to feel my heart flutter when I think about you
Funny, because I hardly know you, but I still wish to be in your arms.
Arms which I've ever felt.

You're an enigma to me; mysterious yet captivating,
and I want to solve you.
I want to pick up your pieces and put them together like a jigsaw puzzle.
I want to see the picture they make when they come together,
and cry when I have to take it apart put the pieces back in the box.

I want to fall asleep thinking about you, and get a text message that you are thinking about me too.

I want to hold your hand and trace the lines on your palm, The heart line and life line, and laugh when yours and mine match.

I want to lean in close and whisper secrets only we know
and you'll whisper back that you agree.

I want you to mess my hair up.

I want my mother to be suspicious when I come home wearing your sweatshirt and not mine.

I want to lay out in the grass together watching the clouds with headphones in, listening to Green Day because I know you like them.

I know that much about you.
I know your eyes are brown and dark
and your mother thinks you are gorgeous.

I know your speech slurs when you get excited and start talking fast.

I know you tease me, and I think you like me too, but I don't know that for sure.

I know you have a silly ring of hat hair when you leave work, and I hate it but I love it too.

I know I recall all these things about you to write this poem, and I'm smiling as I think about you.

I wonder what you are doing right now, not this, for sure, you're probably playing Xbox with your friends and thinking about graduating in two weeks.
But not me, I'm thinking about you, funny, I know, because I really hardly know you, but maybe that's okay, maybe one day I will know something about you.
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