I'm not as good as the light suggests
I prefer the dark where my shadows are invisible
Where they can't follow me and watch me
And show me my wrongs
Show me I don't belong

There is no song that can make me feel better
About what I've done
The things I've seen, done, and wished I hadn't
I've learnt from them, this poem is proof of that
Once I put it in words it's as good as set in stone
Because out of everything I've known
Poetry is the only thing that feels like home

So please be a razor and shave away my sins like my hairs
Like my hairs my sins are uncountable
Shave them off and let them fall
Allow me retribution
Allow me freedom
I have been beaten

I don't want to remain in this darkness anymore
I want to yearn for the light and remember when my shadows walked WITH me and not against me
When my shadow had pride enough in me to walk with me
When my soul was as close to me as my jugular vein
Please take away this pain
Let not me be a bane in the rain of your mercy
Let not me fail...

Show me mercy...

When hardship you face
An answer is raised
"Have faith"

When an obstacle appears
Engineers gear a solution
"Have faith"

When the answer is invisible
When the answer is unknown
When you're lost in the dark
Without a torch on your phone
"Have faith" is your ringtone

But what about when the question is faith
When you question your own faith

When that which you love
becomes
That which you hate
When that which you adore
becomes
That which you abhor

The answer to every question
The key to every lock
The password to every terminal
Is always "have faith"

Have hope and have faith
Be patient and believe
Be faithful and breathe

But what of the times when I'm lost and can't see
What of right now when I'm gone and withdrawn
What of tomorrow when the voices are louder
And my shouts have no power
When my faith is lost to me
And I become powder
Lost in the sea of others
Lost where I hath no brothers
no lovers
no mothers
no people
no friends

When the end is nigh
And I wish to die
But I can't have faith
Because...
I take a pause

The law is stated for me and my faith is decided
There is no other road for me but the alley behind the store
No door for my sorrows
No rest for mere mortals

I wish there was a portal to understanding
An easy way out of this misunderstanding
Because right now I'm standing
on the precipice of disaster
No aster
No plaster for my heartache
No band-aid for my broken arms
Nothing to hold up the weight of faith

Why?
Because faith has left me
I do not believe
and cannot retrieve
that which has been lost to me

I can't seem to see
the horizon anymore
So far it is that no path
is visible to me

I wish I could believe and have faith
I wish I could trust and have faith
I wish I could understand and have faith
But no, God seems to have asked me a question
A question on belief
What am I
and why?

"Have faith"?
No, I'd rather not

Have you ever felt like time just stopped?
Everyone is stuck to their spot
The sun is so hot but, its sunlight has been caught
Frozen in time, the heat is now mine
It burns and yearns to leap from my palm
As if a bomb that's ticking
But that fire is mine even if it's Time that I'm risking
Because time is irrelevant in this situation
All it is, is a frozen block
As if it were a wall of clocks, with hands unmoving, ticking...
Tick tock Tick tock
The constant sound it makes when it's counting down the seconds
But...
Now there is nothing
No sound
No action
No transactions occurring
I can see that man
Frozen in time
Paying for a purchase that he had made
But...
Now there is nothing
No Pounds switching hands
Inaction occurring
This lack of transactions is quite concerning

But then the heat in my hands
It goes cold
It dies in my hand like a
Squirrel on the road
I look around me and see that everyone is awake and all time is in motion
First with the ocean and its waves so constant
And then with the commotion and emotion of the crowds, their nations unspoken

The beauty of time is that it is constantly changing
Forever in motion
There is no stagnation
When all you have is
Production with emotion
Destiny with personality
Human rationality deals in not reason
But only emotion
It's called devotion to ourselves
It's what keeps time moving forward
And leaves us in orbit...
Of each other
Well...
That is... Until we're Frozen in time again...

Insults and stings thrown like hand grenades waiting to explode at their feet
Children tossed at a wall told they're worth nothing
People begin cutting sinking and drinking till they're nothing

Take a round trip of the globe and you see the same
Except here the pain is on their faces and in their minds
Having seen their mothers ***** and fathers killed
Having seen their siblings slaughtered and their friends beaten
Having run away from war stricken land
To know that they are no one with nothing
Alone in the wild of the world
With nothing to their name
No family, no papers, nothing

There's a flood of children being abused each day
By adults and by children
Torn apart from their hearts within to their minds above
Told they're worthless because they were born
They're warned to stay quiet
Let no one hear your voices, they say
Sounding like barbed wire

I say stand up and rise!
Let not the cries of the oppressed ring in your ears any longer!
Let us grow stronger
No longer will we cower in the corner
Of the cell they placed us in
Boxed in and locked away never to see
The light of day

Rise and fight because it's right
Shine bright and let not the world sink into darkness
Caress it's cheeks with fondness
And stare into its eyes with sharpness
Harness the fire in your heart for what's been done to you
And rise again to live another day
To do battle as needed
To live and learn
To be who you are

Wait not for the cries of the oppressed to ring in your ears
End this slavery of mind and body
Call out their names and lead them with the North Star to victory

I believe in you
As does the world
Go make yourself known
Don't get struck down by barbed wire