On a winter day I'm walking in the woods,
I'm walking with the trees;
their story-telling leaves beneath me.
How old, I often wonder,
Would one need to be
to read the dreams of trees?
Perhaps that's what we see
when we eventually leave
our livelihoods behind us,
and stumble in the woods
until our memories find us.

I wonder if you'd know me now,
an awful lot has changed.
I'll try to hide my novelties
Rewind myself with age;
If it helps you to recall my name
I'd live it all again.

All I'd like
Is to feel a little less alone
When I'm all by myself

Without realising,
You became the most at home I'd ever been.
A shelter of warmth,
Locked up safeties and tucked-in frailties
Lie in wait for the weather outside.

The present teaches you to be alone,
The future is afraid of your cause,
The past is a shadow of shame
But at least it's yours.

Why are you afraid?
Your eyes hold the answers to questions
most wouldn't dare to ask.

Chaos is beauty in its purest form

for how long will you hold your breath?
while you hold mine,
I'll gently wait.

Brittle bricks crumble underneath your fingertips,
The pain you miss disappears from the sanctum that you think this is.
You're confusing your grandeur with the beliefs of your pastor
and your lackluster opinions will cost you in the long run.
So you'd better run faster.

I'm an eroding man, made from brittle bricks
with dreams of fixing the worn-down walls of his internal premises.
I'm running on a silver lining who's high-hoped speed is fast declining.
So should I stop smiling?

We used to tussle on the bathroom floor
And hide away our secrets
behind the pantry door.
Your Mum would drink herself to sleep each night
After discussing with her mind the favoured ways she'd like to die,
Concluding somewhat sadly
That she'd gladly drown beneath her cries -
A pain she only shows below her eyes;
A burn she's slowly learnt how to disguise.

If I were to take a gun and place it on my head,
I can't decide if my brain would run
Or beg for me to shoot it dead.
Shadows cloud your shining sun and leave me full of dread,
I truly thought you were the one,
But now I wish for death instead.
An easy route would be to shoot
And end this endless agony,
My faith, beliefs, pulled at the roots,
And everything I've claimed to be,
Erodes within these desperate wounds.
These desperate wounds you gave to me.

As you **** yourself dry between the thighs of her loveless corpse,
Manoeuvring amongst half empty yoghurt pots
and
tomato sauce-encrusted knives and forks
strewn across your soggy floor,
You ****** with a feeling not quite as real as this before.
As it gazes at your soul,
You slowly graze upon the cold,
Restless,
breathless,
***** *****
And laugh at her naive adoration
For the plastic soul she thinks is yours.

Her eyes light up the sky,
They shine like the evening sun.
Disguised by a broken goodbye;
Soft words that can't be undone.

Her soul speaks its cool wonders
With the beautiful words she says.
This desperate hunger
Is not going to make her stay.

I can't help but close my eyes
clench my lids so tight they
implode into my mind
just to see what's inside.

If i should guess
what happiness is
then i would suggest
that it feels like this.

Pull from your face your gross disguise
And lay it gently to one side.
Just for a second I'd love to see your face.

I want to tend to your insides
And leave your psyche through your eyes.
But I can't get in.

I can feel myself slipping in and out
of consciousness
Confusing states of somnolence
With the prominence
of the bottomless consequence
of sloth.

I miss her smile
her chirpy awkward laugh
the hairs on her arms
her kinda yellowed wrinkled palms.

through the eye of a needle in the eye of a storm;
Everything calm and clear where we stood under parity
Oblivious to my distant surroundings
And obsessed with the clarity.
Fresh air never smelt so good.

Why do you concern yourself with how I live my life?
I would have thought
you could have taught me
how to do it right.

I don't like holding vices;
their subtleties entice me
they hold me down, surrounded
left to their own devices
I want my independence
instead of lost dependency
I feel endlessly confounded
by my reluctant, lovely tendencies.

You will die tomorrow.
So what will you achieve today?
Will your day become dictated by sorrow?
Or would you stray beyond your natural way
To try and accomplish all of the things
that you were once afraid of?

Maybe you can't decide,
Maybe you'll cry about it,
Maybe you'll waste your time wrestling with the thought of not wanting to die.
Maybe you'll shamefully realise
That every single day of your precious little life
Should have been lived as if this day were right;
As if you were really going to die...

She used to love me
But now
She's just a stranger
Who knows me inside out

I haven't seen dry land for weeks
So long the water speaks to me
The salt has dried upon my cheeks
As I drift along this wretched sea
Your waves come crashing over me.

we love.
and we love to be loved.
but let's not waste any time
figuring out which one we prefer

Drama is always on our tails;
Thank God I never learned to look behind me.

All the promises that we made
Were torn away from us today
And we were forced to accept that the world was not the happy place
that we used to think it was.
And all the smiles you once gave,
Became shadows of laughter I desperately craved
And every little piece
of your pretty little brain
Became the only worthy cause I knew.

I'm frozen stiff -
encased in case it's dangerous.

day one, same again
Monday morning, hazy head
early yearnings;
coffee, ***
and cigarettes for breakfast

the tides are tied tight to the boats that lie south of the ocean.
the fishermen wade through their wages made just that day.
the seagulls prove costly to all but themselves as they help it to them
till the end of the morning is done.

Love won't wait.
It's an endless wave
that never breaks,
An earthquake-shake;
A rippling wake
beside the side of us

all my life
i've worried (without really knowing it)
that my actions are defining who i am.
but the more i've grown
the clearer life's shown me
that my reactions and conviction
in the way i go about them
give a better understanding
for the man i hope i am

The names change, the game remains the same.
it's a life of haste
but the pace is set by someone else's actions.
The attraction, I guess
Is the subtle inaction
a kind-of
cruise control slip stream
free from distraction.

I'm better, I think.
Sometimes though,
a day will come
and in it the significance of all things normal will slip away
and your face is all I can see
it's all i have.
It will slowly be the death of me and I can't wait

you're nothing but a profile
a series of prompts and poses,
super-likes and roses;
a loneliness exposed in disposable screenshots.

And just like that,
Life was sad again.

Sincerely, I don't hate you
But I'm not the best with things like this
so I tend to avoid it all.
I'd convinced myself I liked you
Even though I never really got to know you.
I could have made it obvious but I was afraid.
Afraid on your behalf in some ways.
Anyway
I'm sorry if my behaviour made you feel a certain way.
It's only cuz I like you

the oldest friend
I barely knew
turned to a memory
left alone with the new

Conceal our secrets in realness...
and tell me then that you don't feel this.

'Just be yourself' she said
'But who is that?' you asked.

I want to see life
through your naive eyes
I want to bubble more often
and sing at the top of my lungs.
The first was our last time
it lasted a lifetime
The past passed us by
By the time we had barely had lunch.

Sunlight settles on the space you once filled,
I wait patiently for its warmth to spill.
A test of mettle sinks my soul a step too deep,
and I can't help to quell the emptiness
so I rinse and repeat.

there's something in the distance
not so far that I can't see it
but too far gone for me to glimpse it.

When we're older,
I'd like us to live by the hills.
Away from the silly thrills of the bustle of buses
and the rustle of wallets.
Away from those so desperate to be happy
but so increasingly aware of how not to hold onto it.
I want to be able to sit in silence on a Saturday -
That might seem like a simple thing to ask for but
here in the city, there's little room to think.
A seat surrounded by chaos is no substitute for the
whisper of the wind as it dances with the daisies
and prances with the daily ease of the hillside's treasures.
You deserve the freshest air and nothing less,
a sea-breeze seen too far from here
for your hair to run right through it.
Anyway, I've been rambling.
I hope one day we'll live back home,
but for now, I'll continue to slowly wipe away your duvet'd haze,
gently seeping sunlight through the cracks in your eyes.
This is always my favourite part of the day;
A beautifully brief moment of limbo between your dreams my mind.
Your gradual recognition of reality
is met by my delight
in response to your gradual smile

And once this brief moment is over,
I can begin to live,
day by day
with only you.

Whilst you were living I was tired,
Too forgiving and uptight.