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2d · 16
better things
Harry 2d
Does he know
something I don't?
does he show you the ways
that I wanted but failed
to love you?
Once we're old
And our stories are told to your friends,
will the details look different
Will the context be changed in the end?
Will my pain be a footnote
Found just by an asterix
barely on show on the page?
Does he know
how you made me feel weak?
Did he laugh as you told him
that you feel more real in his arms?
That my part in your story
was never important?
That the scars that are left
would ultimately be worth all the harm?
Jul 31 · 20
spring [not finished]
Harry Jul 31
this season
we'll journey to our youth,
and lie waste to untold truths
that hide beneath the surface
this season
we'll grow to untold bounds
life starts from underground
and bursts into a melancholic circus


this is a dream
you are a memory
Jul 29 · 914
love i guess?
Harry Jul 29
we love.
and we love to be loved.
but let's not waste any time
figuring out which one we prefer
Dec 2019 · 143
afterlife
Harry Dec 2019
On a winter day I'm walking in the woods,
I'm walking with the trees;
their story-telling leaves beneath me.
How old, I often wonder,
Would one need to be
to read the dreams of trees?
Perhaps that's what we see
when we eventually leave
our livelihoods behind us,
and stumble in the woods
until our memories find us.
May 2018 · 192
Untitled
Harry May 2018
there's something in the distance
not so far that I can't see it
but too far gone for me to glimpse it.
Apr 2018 · 685
Who knows
Harry Apr 2018
I'm alone;
this is what you wanted.
I can't decide if it's what I really wanted.

I'm alive
But only in the ways I want to be.
I'm terrified of the time that slips away so silently.

Am I alive?
or am I still pretending ?
Am I just extending a dream that's never-ending?

I'm
so
alone.
and it's all I've ever wanted to be.
I'm so scared
that this is all I am
and I'm so sure that this is all I need to be.
Jan 2018 · 409
seaside
Harry Jan 2018
the tides are tied tight to the boats that lie south of the ocean.
the fishermen wade through their wages made just that day.
the seagulls prove costly to all but themselves as they help it to them
till the end of the morning is done.
Dec 2016 · 483
Untitled
Harry Dec 2016
Conceal our secrets in realness...
and tell me then that you don't feel this.
Jun 2016 · 974
Fly me to the moon
Harry Jun 2016
I can't resist to close my eyes;
Clench my lids, so tight
that they
implode into my mind,
just
to see what's going on
inside.
Nov 2015 · 466
Yet Again
Harry Nov 2015
Yet again
I find myself
Loving through my self-inflicted memory loss.
I miss the meaning in the words;
"I miss you"
I miss the feeling when I kiss you.
I miss everything that I hoped it was,
And how it has been before
Aug 2015 · 1.6k
Shoreline
Harry Aug 2015
Love won't wait.
It's an endless wave
that never breaks,
An earthquake-shake;
A rippling wake
beside the side of us both

And now that my days are yours,
I'm so frightened of the ending.
Will our billow slowly lash
so surely on the shore?
Will our crests give up pretending
And crash and gnash and gnaw?
Our ocean never-ending,
Like I thought it was before?
Aug 2015 · 274
So obvious
Harry Aug 2015
Work me out
Don't make me do it for you
Don't make me do if for you, stupid little brain.
While you shirk away the pain
of learning me,
I ask just once (and not again):
Is it really me you'd like to know?
Or a 'you' that you're too scared to show?
Jul 2015 · 257
Happiness
Harry Jul 2015
If i should guess
what happiness is
then i would suggest
that it feels like this.
May 2015 · 333
firmly planted
Harry May 2015
I've been high for 3 weeks
she's my weakness
Nobody else can touch
the places that she reaches
And I'm sad because
she's just a weakness
wrapped in guilt
May 2015 · 181
Untitled
Harry May 2015
I want to see life
through your naive eyes
I want to bubble more often
and sing at the top of my lungs.
The first was our last time
it lasted a lifetime
The past passed us by
By the time we had barely had lunch.
May 2015 · 242
again
Harry May 2015
I wonder if you'd know me now...
An awful lot has changed.
I'll try to hide my novelties
Rewind myself with age:
If it helps you to recall my heart,
I'd live it all again.
May 2015 · 1.7k
Hurricane
Harry May 2015
through the eye of a needle in the eye of a storm;
Everything calm and clear where we stood under parity
Oblivious to my distant surroundings
And obsessed with the clarity.
Fresh air never smelt so good.
May 2015 · 405
If you're so sure
Harry May 2015
Why do you concern yourself with how I live my life?
I would have thought
you could have taught me
how to do it right.
Mar 2015 · 508
Let me go
Harry Mar 2015
I don't like holding vices;
their subtleties entice me
they hold me down, surrounded
left to their own devices
I want my independence
instead of lost dependency
I feel endlessly confounded
by my reluctant, lovely tendencies.
Mar 2015 · 1.2k
anxiety
Harry Mar 2015
I feel almost always alone;
those I love
are few and far between.
those that hold a new exciting feeling
always terrify me.
Mar 2015 · 229
slightly misguided
Harry Mar 2015
all my life
i've worried (without really knowing it)
that my actions are defining who i am.
but the more i've grown
the clearer life's shown me
that my reactions and conviction
in the way i go about them
give a better understanding
for the man i hope i am
Mar 2015 · 936
put on a happy face
Harry Mar 2015
I'm frozen stiff.
Encased in case it's dangerous.
Hold me down
Don't let me go again.
Don't let me free,
For I don't know if I could cope
On my own.
Mar 2015 · 376
i miss me sometimes
Harry Mar 2015
I'm so *******
scared
that my future
will mimic my past
that it's become very hard to move on.
letting go
means
letting the world into me again

last time it teased me.
filled me up with bubbles
only to later suggest
that i quickly bring myself
back down to Earth.

I'm so afraid
that moving on
means
becoming vulnerable again.
I've been so scared to do so
that i rarely see the light in any eyes
any
more.
only when i sleep
do i get to see a second-hand version.

i miss me, sometimes.
i wish could blame you for that.
but the rest of me should have either gone with you
    or never given you a part of me to take
in the first place
Feb 2015 · 404
a perfect storm
Harry Feb 2015
Without realising,
You became the most at home I'd ever been.
A shelter of warmth,
Locked up safeties and tucked-in frailties
Lie in wait for the weather outside.
Feb 2015 · 248
losing touch
Harry Feb 2015
She used to love me
But now
She's just a stranger
Who knows me inside out
Feb 2015 · 478
trip
Harry Feb 2015
I can never seem to tell
if I'm wasting away
or just
forcing self-blame
for not being where I thought I could be.
Through our mulled-over dwells
did our time slip away
and just,
trickle down to naught
teasingly.
Harry Feb 2015
When we're older,
I'd like us to live by the hills.
Away from the silly thrills of the bustle of buses
and the rustle of wallets.
Away from those so desperate to be happy
but so increasingly aware of how not to hold onto it.
I want to be able to sit in silence on a Saturday -
That might seem like a simple thing to ask for but
here in the city, there's little room to think.
A seat surrounded by chaos is no substitute for the
whisper of the wind as it dances with the daisies
and prances with the daily ease of the hillside's treasures.
You deserve the freshest air and nothing less,
a sea-breeze seen too far from here
for your hair to run right through it.
Anyway, I've been rambling.
I hope one day we'll live back home,
but for now, I'll continue to slowly wipe away your duvet'd haze,
gently seeping sunlight through the cracks in your eyes.
This is always my favourite part of the day;
A beautifully brief moment of limbo between your dreams my mind.
Your gradual recognition of reality
is met by my delight
in response to your gradual smile

And once this brief moment is over,
I can begin to live,
day by day
with only you.
Feb 2015 · 192
Alonely
Harry Feb 2015
All I'd like
Is to feel a little less alone
When I'm all by myself
Jan 2015 · 312
paranoid
Harry Jan 2015
My smoke will save me every time.
Relieve me of my vacancies that
Inhabit vagrantly in my mind...
Settle down
With subtle frowns
of blatant false complacency.
My smoke will hide
the sadness that I love;
From myself
And the rest of me.
You
can't
see
all of
us.
My smoke will shield me.
Protect me from the laughter
of the ones I care most about
and the ones I know I shouldn't
Jan 2015 · 572
Squatters' Rights
Harry Jan 2015
Well I must have a lock on the door of my head
I'm running round in circles
So I can feel alright again.
My little lady
She has the longest, cutest hair
And no lock on her head
So I can let myself in
Again and again
Jan 2015 · 404
Defense
Harry Jan 2015
We used to tussle on the bathroom floor
And hide away our secrets
behind the pantry door.
Your Mum would drink herself to sleep each night
After discussing with her mind the favored ways she'd like to die,
Concluding somewhat sadly
That she'd gladly drown beneath her cries -
A pain she only shows below her eyes;
A burn she's slowly learnt how to disguise.
Jan 2015 · 338
Seasonal Affective Disorder
Harry Jan 2015
Sometimes it feels like I can't help but cry
And,
It might not be for any apparent reason, but
It feels as real as the tree-changed season;
Decay itself even falls to the ground come October -
And the only way I know how to deal with it
Is to become just a little less sober.
Dec 2014 · 341
Always out of reach
Harry Dec 2014
I'm always looking for the bottom line
A straight-forward explanation to help define
My beginnings and my endings:
Where I start and stop pretending.
But the more I try to find
My bottled bottom line,
The more I waste my anxious time:
It carries on descending;
Forever extending
The distance I must climb
To reach my happy ending,
And I'm scaling out of time.
Dec 2014 · 376
Ask it
Harry Dec 2014
Why are you afraid?
Your eyes hold the answers to questions
most wouldn't dare to ask.
Dec 2014 · 273
Trough
Harry Dec 2014
And just like that,
Life was sad again.
Dec 2014 · 186
Breathe
Harry Dec 2014
for how long will you hold your breath?
while you hold mine,
I'll gently wait.
Dec 2014 · 868
Muse
Harry Dec 2014
Drama is always on our tails;
Thank God I never learned to look behind me.
Dec 2014 · 392
Wired
Harry Dec 2014
Whilst you were living I was tired,
Too forgiving and uptight.
I've tried to keep away the shards of glass
I'd found beneath the window sill
Standing still and talking **** until the thrills of living begin to desperately unspill.

I'd love to live but I'm too tired,
Too much wire inspires my head
tonight
Nov 2014 · 292
Junkies
Harry Nov 2014
When your life feels dead
Who will you look to lead?
Right arm, left arm, right arm, wrong vein,
Right there, right there.

I've had to force myself
To be the best
The best that you'd ever gotten.
I had to change my ways
Relieve the craze,
Stay by my side until I got you,
Until I got you.

When your life is dead
Just give me the lead
The leash on my battered forearm
Right here, right here.
Oh when the muppets cry,
You'll soon decide
That in this spoon
Is everything you've every wanted.

I've had to try my best
To be the best you've ever gotten.
I had to mug the lies,
To try to hide
Everything I'd ever gotten,
Until I got you.
Nov 2014 · 360
Nobody waited for me
Harry Nov 2014
Smolder my company
And dress my jokes in Chardonnay gowns.
I'm the talk of the town, the talk of the town.
No-one waited for me
I've been left at the time where I feel least afraid;
For more than a decade I've been 17.
Cascading parades take place
When you least intend it;
A fetished decay of all you comprehend;
Time is killing me,
Time is on a killing spree,
She owes me so I know she'll spare me the time.
I surrender my mind,
Please spare me, sweet time,
I've been left behind
Because nobody waited.
Nov 2014 · 239
Her
Harry Nov 2014
Her
I miss her smile, her chirpy, awkward laugh.
I miss the hairs on her arms,
Her yellow wrinkled palms.
I miss the blisters on her fingers
The plasters on her toes,
The thought that usually lingers
And hinders my sad woes.
I really miss missing her.
What a sad thought -
That she might never be gone.
And although our love is fraught I feel I ought to carry on.
Is it worth it? Probably not
Like that first big hit on that crisp white ****
Granulated blow.
I wish she'd Just come home and ween me off of her,
Inch by painful inch
Nov 2014 · 202
god or something
Harry Nov 2014
It only exists right now.
It finds itself in a constant paradoxical flux between the only one
And the non-existent.
It's the infinite constant
And the never-present.
Until you can understand that it isn't something to be caught,
To be chased and displayed as a trophy on your death bed,
You will die a sorry man.
Because you won't be there to love it,
To be it, feel it, live it.
I've always found it hard to put it into words;
The obvious mystery of the here and now
And the torture of avoiding it.
Most people don't even realise it;
Their minds are cuddled by structure,
Fed by a sense of fitting in
That shouldn't have to be pursued.
We fit precisely in this moment.
There isn't another way to look at it.
Oct 2014 · 638
Dirt
Harry Oct 2014
As you **** yourself dry between the thighs of her loveless corpse,
Manoeuvring amongst half empty yoghurt pots
and
tomato sauce-encrusted knives and forks
strewn across your soggy floor,
You ****** with a euphoria not severe as this before.
As it gazes at your soul,
You slowly graze upon the cold,
Restless,
breathless,
***** *****
And laugh at her naive adoration
For the plastic soul she thinks is yours.
Oct 2014 · 177
The take-over
Harry Oct 2014
I'm better, I think.
Sometimes though,
a day will come
and in it the significance of all things normal will slip away
and your face is all I can see
it's all i have.
It will slowly be the death of me and I can't wait
Oct 2014 · 217
Ask yourself;
Harry Oct 2014
Will you find more satisfaction once you complete the transition of becoming someone you feel you're supposed to be,
Or will you realise the distraction of your real mission;
To become fully exposed to the idea of 'me'
And be completely happy with it?
Oct 2014 · 363
Hard to get
Harry Oct 2014
Pull from your face your gross disguise
And lay it gently to one side.
Just for a second I'd love to see your face.

I want to tend to your insides
And leave your psyche through your eyes.
But I can't get in.
Sep 2014 · 208
A Distant Memory
Harry Sep 2014
I can remember being happy when the sun begun the structure of my day.
Your eyes were wider than they can be
When your one and only flaw would fade away.
It was October when you left me and my life was rife with clustered disarray.
Jul 2014 · 205
Are we living in a Bubble?
Harry Jul 2014
The present teaches you to be alone,
The future is afraid of your cause,
The past is a shadow of shame
But at least it's yours.
Jul 2014 · 616
Dream Mares
Harry Jul 2014
Her eyes light up the sky,
They shine like the evening sun.
Disguised by a broken goodbye;
Soft words that can't be undone.

Her soul speaks its cool wonders
With the beautiful words she says.
This desperate hunger
Is not going to make her stay.

You know I'll try to keep it together,
but maybe I'll come undone.
But we will become.
Jul 2014 · 318
Desperate Wounds
Harry Jul 2014
If I were to take a gun and place it on my head,
I can't decide if my brain would run
Or beg for me to shoot it dead.
Shadows cloud your shining sun and leave me full of dread,
I truly thought you were the one,
But now I wish for death instead.
An easy route would be to shoot
And end this endless agony,
My faith, beliefs, pulled at the roots,
And everything I've claimed to be,
Erodes within these desperate wounds.
These desperate wounds you gave to me.
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