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Harry Sep 2014
I can remember being happy when the sun began the structure of my day.
Your eyes were wider than they can be
When your one and only flaw would fade away.
It was October when you left me and my life was rife with clustered disarray.
Harry Dec 2019
On a winter day I'm walking in the woods,
I'm walking with the trees;
their story-telling leaves beneath me.
How old, I often wonder,
Would one need to be
to read the dreams of trees?
Perhaps that's what we see
when we eventually leave
our livelihoods behind us,
and stumble in the woods
until our memories find us.
Harry May 2015
I wonder if you'd know me now...
An awful lot has changed.
I'll try to hide my novelties
Rewind myself with age:
If it helps you to recall my name,
I'd live it all again.
Harry Feb 2015
All I'd like
Is to feel a little less alone
When I'm all by myself
Harry Dec 2014
I'm always looking for the bottom line
A straight-forward explanation to help define
My beginnings and my endings:
Where I start and stop pretending.
But the more I try to find
My bottled bottom line,
The more I waste my anxious time:
It carries on descending;
Forever extending
The distance I must climb
To reach my happy ending,
And I'm scaling out of time.
Harry Mar 2015
I feel almost always alone;
those I love
are few and far between.
those that hold a new exciting feeling
always terrify me.
Harry Feb 2015
Without realising,
You became the most at home I'd ever been.
A shelter of warmth,
Locked up safeties and tucked-in frailties
Lie in wait for the weather outside.
Harry Jul 2014
The present teaches you to be alone,
The future is afraid of your cause,
The past is a shadow of shame
But at least it's yours.
Harry Dec 2014
Why are you afraid?
Your eyes hold the answers to questions
most wouldn't dare to ask.
Harry Oct 2014
Will you find more satisfaction once you complete the transition of becoming someone you feel you're supposed to be,
Or will you realise the distraction of your real mission;
To become fully exposed to the idea of 'me'
And be completely happy with it?
Harry Sep 2020
Does he know
something I don't?
does he show you the ways
that I wanted but failed
to love you?
Once we're old
And our stories are told to your friends,
will the details look different
Will the context be changed in the end?
Will my pain be a footnote
Found just by an asterix
barely on show on the page?
Does he know
how you made me feel weak?
Did he laugh as you told him
that you feel more real in his arms?
That my part in your story
was never important?
That the scars that are left
would ultimately be worth all the harm?
Harry Dec 2014
for how long will you hold your breath?
while you hold mine,
I'll gently wait.
Harry Jul 2014
Brittle bricks crumble underneath your fingertips,
The pain you miss disappears from the sanctum that you think this is.
You're confusing your grandeur with the beliefs of your pastor
and your lackluster opinions will cost you in the long run.
So you'd better run faster.

I'm an eroding man, made from brittle bricks
with dreams of fixing the worn-down walls of his internal premises.
I'm running on a silver lining who's high-hoped speed is fast declining.
So should I stop smiling?
Harry Jan 2015
We used to tussle on the bathroom floor
And hide away our secrets
behind the pantry door.
Your Mum would drink herself to sleep each night
After discussing with her mind the favored ways she'd like to die,
Concluding somewhat sadly
That she'd gladly drown beneath her cries -
A pain she only shows below her eyes;
A burn she's slowly learnt how to disguise.
Harry Jul 2014
If I were to take a gun and place it on my head,
I can't decide if my brain would run
Or beg for me to shoot it dead.
Shadows cloud your shining sun and leave me full of dread,
I truly thought you were the one,
But now I wish for death instead.
An easy route would be to shoot
And end this endless agony,
My faith, beliefs, pulled at the roots,
And everything I've claimed to be,
Erodes within these desperate wounds.
These desperate wounds you gave to me.
Harry Oct 2014
As you **** yourself dry between the thighs of her loveless corpse,
Manoeuvring amongst half empty yoghurt pots
and
tomato sauce-encrusted knives and forks
strewn across your soggy floor,
You ****** with a euphoria not severe as this before.
As it gazes at your soul,
You slowly graze upon the cold,
Restless,
breathless,
***** *****
And laugh at her naive adoration
For the plastic soul she thinks is yours.
Harry Jul 2014
Her eyes light up the sky,
They shine like the evening sun.
Disguised by a broken goodbye;
Soft words that can't be undone.

Her soul speaks its cool wonders
With the beautiful words she says.
This desperate hunger
Is not going to make her stay.

You know I'll try to keep it together,
but maybe I'll come undone.
But we will become.
Harry Oct 2020
The season has changed, with a heavy heart.
Outside, the vinings grow
Twisting quietly inside.
I used to feel like a witness -
Watching love spring from behind my kitchen window
wishing I was encased in the bloom.
I would
lock the back door and
shut the windows tight,
out of fear that the twists might entwine
into the walls of my life.
So much fear for so much beauty.
Love, I know now, is a release;
   to give up -
an acceptance and surrender to decay.
I used to think that love is growth
as if love is to guide oneself, to light up the path in the night time.
as if love was
to assume that I know how best for you to bloom.
Love is freedom
an acceptance of what is.
Love is the pathway, not the light.
An unshakable trust in what is,
not what might be.
Too often we confuse it with it's opposite - possession.
'I am yours and you are mine'   -
What words of such desperate fear they are
Harry May 2015
I've been high for 3 weeks
she's my weakness
Nobody else can touch
the places that she reaches
And I'm sad because
she's just a weakness
wrapped in guilt
Harry Jun 2016
I can't resist to close my eyes;
Clench my lids, so tight
that they
implode into my mind,
just
to see what's going on
inside.
Harry Oct 2020
You felt the weight of the world
before you'd finished your youth
and on the back of your hand
were the signs that you already knew
A hope of life again for you
The start of something new.

You've been through it all
the black and the blue
the darkest of nights
And still, you made it through.
Honestly,
I've lost my soul
A silent surrender
A relinquished control

But when I look at you
I know we'll be fine
I'll remember your face
it's engraved in my mind
I promise you
Something new
Each and every time

Just for you
Just for you

We've been through the darkness
and come through unscathed
Our frailties have left us
only bravery remains
and when I look at you
I know I'll be fine
It's something I want

Just for you
Just for you
Harry Nov 2014
It only exists right now.
It finds itself in a constant paradoxical flux between the only one
And the non-existent.
It's the infinite constant
And the never-present.
Until you can understand that it isn't something to be caught,
To be chased and displayed as a trophy on your death bed,
You will die a sorry man.
Because you won't be there to love it,
To be it, feel it, live it.
I've always found it hard to put it into words;
The obvious mystery of the here and now
And the torture of avoiding it.
Most people don't even realise it;
Their minds are cuddled by structure,
Fed by a sense of fitting in
That shouldn't have to be pursued.
We fit precisely in this moment.
There isn't another way to look at it.
Harry Jul 2015
If i should guess
what happiness is
then i would suggest
that it feels like this.
Harry Oct 2014
Pull from your face your gross disguise
And lay it gently to one side.
Just for a second I'd love to see your face.

I want to tend to your insides
And leave your psyche through your eyes.
But I can't get in.
Harry Jul 2014
I can feel myself slipping in and out
of consciousness
Confusing states of somnolence
With the prominence
of the bottomless consequence
of sloth.
Her
Harry Nov 2014
Her
I miss her smile, her chirpy, awkward laugh.
I miss the hairs on her arms,
Her yellow wrinkled palms.
I miss the blisters on her fingers
The plasters on her toes,
The thought that usually lingers
And hinders my sad woes.
I really miss missing her.
What a sad thought -
That she might never be gone.
And although our love is fraught I feel I ought to carry on.
Is it worth it? Probably not
Like that first big hit on that crisp white ****
Granulated blow.
I wish she'd Just come home and ween me off of her,
Inch by painful inch
Harry Jul 2014
You don't know me anymore,
And I can't accept the fact
That you won't stick to what you'd sworn,
Or leave my dignity intact.
Although my prophecies are worn,
And my problems highly stacked,
I still think that I'm all yours,
And that hope I will protract.
Harry May 2015
through the eye of a needle in the eye of a storm;
Everything calm and clear where we stood under parity
Oblivious to my distant surroundings
And obsessed with the clarity.
Fresh air never smelt so good.
Harry May 2015
Why do you concern yourself with how I live my life?
I would have thought
you could have taught me
how to do it right.
Harry Mar 2015
I'm so *******
scared
that my future
will mimic my past
that it's become very hard to move on.
letting go
means
letting the world into me again

last time it teased me.
filled me up with bubbles
only to later suggest
that i quickly bring myself
back down to Earth.

I'm so afraid
that moving on
means
becoming vulnerable again.
I've been so scared to do so
that i rarely see the light in any eyes
any
more.
only when i sleep
do i get to see a second-hand version.

i miss me, sometimes.
i wish could blame you for that.
but the rest of me should have either gone with you
    or never given you a part of me to take
in the first place
Harry Nov 2014
When your life feels dead
Who will you look to lead?
Right arm, left arm, right arm, wrong vein,
Right there, right there.

I've had to force myself
To be the best
The best that you'd ever gotten.
I had to change my ways
Relieve the craze,
Stay by my side until I got you,
Until I got you.

When your life is dead
Just give me the lead
The leash on my battered forearm
Right here, right here.
Oh when the muppets cry,
You'll soon decide
That in this spoon
Is everything you've every wanted.

I've had to try my best
To be the best you've ever gotten.
I had to mug the lies,
To try to hide
Everything I'd ever gotten,
Until I got you.
Harry Mar 2015
I don't like holding vices;
their subtleties entice me
they hold me down, surrounded
left to their own devices
I want my independence
instead of lost dependency
I feel endlessly confounded
by my reluctant, lovely tendencies.
Harry Jul 2014
You will die tomorrow.
So what will you achieve today?
Will your day become dictated by sorrow?
Or would you stray beyond your natural way
To try and accomplish all of the things
that you were once afraid of?

Maybe you can't decide,
Maybe you'll cry about it,
Maybe you'll waste your time wrestling with the thought of not wanting to die.
Maybe you'll shamefully realise
That every single day of your precious little life
Should have been lived as if this day were right;
As if you were really going to die...
So open your eyes.

Tomorrow, you could die.
So what will you achieve today?
Harry Feb 2015
She used to love me
But now
She's just a stranger
Who knows me inside out
Harry Jul 2014
I haven't seen dry land for weeks
So long the water speaks to me
The salt has dried upon my cheeks
As I float along the weakened sea
Your waves come crashing over me.
Harry Jul 2020
we love.
and we love to be loved.
but let's not waste any time
figuring out which one we prefer
Harry Dec 2014
Drama is always on our tails;
Thank God I never learned to look behind me.
Harry Nov 2014
Smolder my company
And dress my jokes in Chardonnay gowns.
I'm the talk of the town, the talk of the town.
No-one waited for me
I've been left at the time where I feel least afraid;
For more than a decade I've been 17.
Cascading parades take place
When you least intend it;
A fetished decay of all you comprehend;
Time is killing me,
Time is on a killing spree,
She owes me so I know she'll spare me the time.
I surrender my mind,
Please spare me, sweet time,
I've been left behind
Because nobody waited.
Harry Jan 2015
My smoke will save me every time.
Relieve me of my vacancies that
Inhabit vagrantly in my mind...
Settle down
With subtle frowns
of blatant false complacency.
My smoke will hide
the sadness that I love;
From myself
And the rest of me.
You
can't
see
all of
us.
My smoke will shield me.
Protect me from the laughter
of the ones I care most about
and the ones I know I shouldn't
Harry Jul 2014
All the promises that we made
Were torn away from us that day
And we were forced to accept that the world was not the happy place
that we used to think it was.
And all the smiles that you once gave,
Became shadows of laughter I desperately craved
And every little piece
of your pretty little brain
Became the only worthy cause I knew.
Harry Mar 2015
I'm frozen stiff.
Encased in case it's dangerous.
Hold me down
Don't let me go again.
Don't let me free,
For I don't know if I could cope
On my own.
Harry Jul 2014
Have you ever thought a thought
That you needed to erase?
Have you ever felt the crisp wind
On a sunny winter day?
Would you ever like to lie
About the way you'd love to die,
Or would rather find out how
While your eyes are looking up at the sky?

When you look deep into yourself,
Do you see a mirror image,
Or a person that you don't know but
Could spend a lot of time with?
Do your senses fade away?
old and crippled, turning grey?
Have you noticed that your days filled with laughter
never sound the same?

Do you ever think a thought
That you'd rather wasn't there?
Have you ever had a vision
That was forced upon by fear?
Would you ever touch a life
And be transported through the eyes
Would you find a deeper comfort you'd
Always wanted to find.

Have you ever thought a thought
And questioned everything it taught?
Have you ever wanted more
Than just a quartet of walls?
That try to hide away the wars
And the sores that are yours
Or are you happy living life behind closed doors?

I would love to open up,
And be a better human man,
Give my love to everybody
And receive it if I can,
But the truth isn't fair
And most fairness isn't true,
and the is fast approaching it was always going to catch up to you.
Harry Jan 2018
the tides are tied tight to the boats that lie south of the ocean.
the fishermen wade through their wages made just that day.
the seagulls prove costly to all but themselves as they help it to them
till the end of the morning is done.
Harry Jan 2015
Sometimes it feels like I can't help but cry
And,
It might not be for any apparent reason, but
It feels as real as the tree-changed season;
Decay itself even falls to the ground come October -
And the only way I know how to deal with it
Is to become just a little less sober.
Harry Aug 2015
Love won't wait.
It's an endless wave
that never breaks,
An earthquake-shake;
A rippling wake
beside the side of us both

And now that my days are yours,
I'm so frightened of the ending.
Will our billow slowly lash
so surely on the shore?
Will our crests give up pretending
And crash and gnash and gnaw?
Our ocean never-ending,
Like I thought it was before?
Harry Mar 2015
all my life
i've worried (without really knowing it)
that my actions are defining who i am.
but the more i've grown
the clearer life's shown me
that my reactions and conviction
in the way i go about them
give a better understanding
for the man i hope i am
Harry Mar 2021
The names change, the game remains the same.
it's a life of haste
but the pace is set by someone else's actions.
The attraction, I guess
Is the subtle inaction
a kind-of
cruise control slip stream
free from distraction.
Harry Aug 2015
Work me out
Don't make me do it for you
Don't make me do if for you, stupid little brain.
While you shirk away the pain
of learning me,
I ask just once (and not again):
Is it really me you'd like to know?
Or a 'you' that you're too scared to show?
Harry Jul 2020
this season
we'll journey to our youth,
and lie waste to untold truths
that hide beneath the surface
this season
we'll grow to untold bounds
life starts from underground
and bursts into a melancholic circus


this is a dream
you are a memory
Harry Jan 2015
Well I must have a lock on the door of my head
I'm running round in circles
So I can feel alright again.
My little lady
She has the longest, cutest hair
And no lock on her head
So I can let myself in
Again and again
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