so now i suppose i'll have to act like
i don't know you, we didn't come so close
and who knows?
maybe we never were. me not being
there didn't **** you like
it killed me.

so you just make yourself comfortable
down the lane of my memory
i'll visit you often
and see where oh where it gets me

i'm gasping for air
i'll never get
maybe if you'd miss me you would care.

who am i kidding?

i've been trying to get you to see me
for years beyond years,
but here i am with the sunlight pooling through
and you don't look at me

you never do.

anyone can speak at me
anyway they want

"you're too this,"
"you're too that."

all they ever do is taunt

when i stand up for myself
— a fault, apparently —
their jaws drop and their eyes pop

"why are you yelling at me?"

sorry that i have feelings
sorry that i have pride
sorry that i have to be
the only one on my own side

sorry i don't want to be belittled

sorry i can't be berated

sorry that you call this love

when all i feel is hated

how dare you leave me this way

vacated and

empty and begging

for you to stay


i'm not sure what to think, do, or say

this is one of those things

that changes

in an odd

and particularly

challenging way

do i still love you?

maybe i never stopped

because on the list of those i miss

you were always at the top

every time i open my mouth

someone makes me feel small

if my feelings aren't valid

why should i even speak at all?

the way i love you is like an atomic bomb.
dangerous and overpowering
-- absolutely nuclear.
when it drops, it's undeniable and
the mushroom cloud thereafter blocks your lungs,
making it hard to breathe.