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"I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then."

I arose from sleep with sheets tangled along my ankles and the inevitable dread of being me. I stretch and I yawn but my muscles are screaming but my lungs are aching, my bones are creaking. My soul is loudly screeching begging for release. I push it down with ***** smuggled in my orange juice, a smile at my mother and 3 white pills. I'm dreadfully me.

By noon one foot is put in front of another, my hands swing at my sides and my eyes roam but they did not see. My screams of inner insanity are only a whisper but I feel as if everyone can hear the singing. The electricity in my brain crackles and I feel the singing growing louder, sirens to my death. I am painfully me.

By afternoon my hand hungrily grasps yours and I am a ship tossed at sea, my anchor is rusted, chain breaking link by link. You are the eye of the storm, my calm before chaos. I am chaotically me.

By night you wrap yourself around me, heart beats in tune. Your hands explore every curve, crevice, bare skin traveled. I am undiscovered land, plentiful for your taking. I am breathing you in, where I begin and you end is lost between our forever. I am blissfully me.
The best type of dreaming is done while wide awake
Don't be fooled by words;
Many can say the words "I love you"
But only a few
Can make efforts to prove that they really do.
You gave me a reason to live

I hate you for stealing my only escape from my life
I'd give up my left arm to always be right beside her. My right arm for her to know she's what I have left and both arms to be able to hug her when's she away. I just don't think I have enough to give to get the courage to tell her when she's here.
The taste of liquor on my lips
Cannot compare to the intoxicating
Sound of your voice that lingers in my ears,
It makes my head spin,
Throwing the Earth of its axis
And causing me to stumble to the ground,
Limbs weak,
Words slurred,
The cramping in my stomach
From the stab wounds that anxious butterflies
Left behind,
I dread the hangover you'd leave me in the morning,
The throbbing headache from the empty
Space next to me in bed,
The nausea from seeing the creases on the pillow
From where your head rested,
The dry lips from where you kissed me,
Glazed eyes that still shine from where you said
They were beautiful,

I guess I can ease the pain with an aspirin,
Dropping the memories into water and watching
Them dissolve,
Slowly disintegrating and falling apart,
Only to be swallowed and leave a bad taste in my mouth
Like it never happened.
All alone in a crowded room
don’t think anyone can hear me.
So far away from human touch
despite all these people near me.

I spend the night inside my head
and wonder how they see me.
Could they ever understand
just what it’s like to be me?

Late at night I close my eyes
and I analyze their faces.
Those who play the parts they play
without questioning their places.

Under  lamplight with my pen
I voice my lonely spirit.
So I’ll no longer be alone
if only you should hear it.
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