I used to be one of the brightest reds
but now I've turned grey
forced to be numb
grown familiar with the pain
"Is this right or is it wrong?"
I ask myself everyday
while you are unaware of these conversations in my head
that I am caught up in this fray

if you could only see the way the way
you tell me endless stories about her
like the gleam in your eyes and
how your smile grows wider
every time you mention her name
inimical to your happiness
there is an ache in my chest
yet I do not blame you for my heart’s distress

how could you be so oblivious?
why can’t you realize? why can’t you see?
why won’t you pay me enough attention
and look at me properly?
you leave me with no choice
but to stop myself from jumping off the cliff
only to fall into nothing but misery

as I fill this paper with the
breathings of my heart
tears blur my vision and they fall drop by drop
I’m all by myself again, nothing new
with a question left in my mind:
am I in love with you?