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Moon does not shine

Time does not rewind

these are just the natures

of the universal mind.

Some do not care

some terribly scared

some hiding from life

Expression is so rare.
Temperament means so little
to the one who lacks control
and  I fly off the handle
Because its all I know.

Self guidance is something missing
From about a every single soul
Each one hunting for blissing
But getting stuck far below.
Sweet romance and the glitter around her eyes
You want to love her, but when you touch her she dies.
You want to need her but she seems in a distant paradise
You can't control her and she can't control her eyes.

Honey scented and quite insecure
She will definately lean on you
Thats for sure

She will hold your hand and follow you
through this life

She would even be your wife.

But that sweet romance and the glitter in her eyes
Its her hopes and dreams she thinks while she dies
Its her old age because she doesnt think heaven will be nice
Its her closed off self and her sultry eyes

You want to love her, but at what price
Dont try to shove her,
I stand horrified
at all the ugliness you glorified
at all the pain you try to hide
and all the stories you lied and lied
Titillate and demonstrate
that you alone will conquer.
Things will never stay the same
but my love
oh my love is constant.
And I will always let you win
and let you  bite
and let you win.
I'm staking thin
and you're shaking more and more
With sin.
So please just let me be
for a little while
for a little while
and you will see the paint within me
and I will show you home
I'm sitting watching letters fly
Words come  in spurts
I watch the meaning die

These people, they talk
My do I hear them
Toward trauma they flock
what mad delirium

You speak of love, you say
I want it
You speak of life, you say
I love it.

But then you show me that decay
Your breeding
Then you tell me that you'd pay
to stop bleeding.

You are killing yourself
In the name of finding something
Worth living for
and I dont see the point,
I see no point at all.

No I dont get the reasoning
In causing the fall.
Covered in your expelling exposure
being to near you and not quite enough
Jet through the spaces in between
the whole of me.

I like to be wrapped into the center
of your kind
and if you would let me
I would become your spine

and then we could work
a 2 for 1 a life.

and then perhaps
not so much strife.....
but then again...
I taste your spit in ever single soda I drink.
I smell you in all of those cheap perfumes.
I see your presence in every single thought i think


Its not to bad being surrounded by you.

I call you God, and you can call me baby
I call you my man and I can be your lady.
Intoxication doesn't compare...

You drip like drops of golden honey
and fall down my shirt, into my stomach
where i feel you raise your head.

You sing sweetly against the breeze and your hair    
speaks louder than your voice.

I swear it speaks louder than your voice.
Conception never screamed so loud
as when I came unto you

It screamed mistake
dont take
this fear you've been eating
will disolve all love
and its yourself youll be eating.
Shadows kiss me good night
Dancing before my splayed lids
How could I ever ask them to leave.
So assembled so straightforward.
I can barely shut off the view
Of light wave after dark rolling cloud
Swallowing space
And then itself.
Patches of brown
Red
Black
Shadows kiss my eyes good night
Which is why I never sleep.
Judas only did
that which had to be lived.

He suffered for his fault
not his action.

And Jesus knew what was to come,
for with out it,
what would he be?
Sub sequence
Domino
I am left
No where to go
You are right
and this we know.

Sub sequence
High then low.

You fall for me,
I taper so.

I love you now
You've some where else to go.

Sub sequence,
You move in shades of progression
One step two step
Funeral wake and then per-session .
Your sing song vocal connection
seeps out your mouth like smooth confection
and my high tide low tide better or for worse
Is always waiting right here.

A thousand miles backwards to the beginning of our time
When me I just first met you and you held up your sign.

Your smooth water eyes
and things like this, i think
if beauty ever dies?
Or does it only sink?

So deep your valleys carved
like aged in wine is good.
So my heart will ever wait
as it knows it should.
Beckon me in to the stratosphere

show me all the way

I never wanted to be so near

to the never ending day.

But this one moment

has pulled me in.


Im sick of yesterdays
pulling me back
and tomorrows
pulling me forth.

But this one moment has pulled me in.

Im sick of past tense memories intruding

on this one moment thats pulling me in.

I'm sick of relating old to new

this one moment

I'm sick of everything that gets shoved in the way
of this one moment.
If you've got something to show me
Well I would Love To go,
And if you've got something to tell me
I would love to know

Your every movement catches me
I'm curious you could say
And every day I follow you
Becomes a better day.
My serotonin levels must be low. this addiction **** really blows.
I've cleaned the room now i clean my house.
Keep on my toes, not to offend my spouse.
I got a big mouth. With a blunt mind.
And if you got a problem well no problem of mine.
I just want happiness.... Refined.
I wish it was easy. I wish there weren't so many problems and rules.
Whats wrong with wanting a rush. using tools.
I wish i could save up all my happy moments and put em in a syringe.
See if I tell some one who loves me that there going to  cringe.
Thats why i wish it was easy, to be a person. Every one would do it, if we all had no purpose.
I can't explain why i'd rather, be incapacitated  than one day waking up out dated.
Out of context, no longer relevant. wasted.
Your fingers sweet and tented red
you smell of trees and grass
you cherry picker picked  my heart
could love like this so last.

You skin burnt son, You hard hard day
You rest your cherry picking way.
You skin burnt son, You day is done
Rest you may rest you may
Rest your cherry picking way.

You pick your cherries from the tree
live this life like eternally
You cherry picking,  have picked me
live this life like eternity

You skin burnt son oh you wake me up
oh you make me up
oh you make such fun


You skin burnt sun of eternity
turn you cherry picking to me.



oh you skin burnt sun
oh you make such fun
oh you skin burn son
you make me up oh you make me one.

You  make me one
Sliver of the best
and sliver of the worst
Shiver on your chest
and then we will disperse

Not until we die
You can ever leave me
Not until we die
will you ever be free of me.

Tell me, Have I made myself clear
You can tell that  I love you and so need you near.

Tell me love, Of your utter feelings
and I'll show you all of my inner reelings

I can show you where the electricity runs
I can show you how I inhale my lungs
I can show you the way my precious heart beats
and you can tell me how you think its all very neat.
Secretions of compassions
Given unto those who feel not

love from those they need.

Who feel not their souls
which need be freed

Who feel not they could
Ever succeed.

Secretions of Love
Given to those
who are pure as a dove


But suffered like Christ.

The innocent, not yet taught
Of responsibility,
and Clarity
and control
of your mind.
The innocent who have been

Hung on the cross

Forced to suffer

for no apparent reason.
She likes warmth and venom
She says it stings inside
and when you try to lift them
All the bugs crawl and hide

But dont you ever question
where they crawl off too
I know I have been wondering
What they ever will do....

Seems they burrow under
Layers layers of rotten flesh
from trees and plants
and birds and things.


You know I have always wondered
Where they ever will go
when i turn a rock over
and crouch down real low
and all those little bugs and salamanders
run for the hills
they climb inside of holes and caves
it must be quite the thrill
to live with in the earth
a cavern safe and sound

Buggies little slimy things

I see them and my heart pounds.s.
He called it mornings night,
He called it angels flight.
He set his clock  just right

The only way he set his clock.


Mornings night comes in close
It gives unto those who give the most
It dreary dreams of clouds and candy
Murky spots still grow Lions of Dandy.

And He, unforsaken, clean
Staring through space to me.
Oh his eyes are fish swimming in and out
And I want to tell him but i would need to shout
Yes his eyes are wide and its a spacial spectacle
His horus face and his for head triangle.

Dear God I must be wittnessing a Miracle
Dear god do you  hear these angels song
and do you hear how lyrical
and could it last very long?

Just let me stay hear, with in this place
Just let us float here, Oh, Your Horus Face.
Just let me stay, baby, set the clocks.
And if you need me, give me 7 knocks.


He was setting his clocks, he does that
And he only sets them right
He sets them in vibration
and he sets his morning night.
My beautiful husband, and his beautiful soul. There is something with in him that is such a gift. I do so enjoy living with him and being his woman. He mystifies me. Bliss was never even zealous to reach the lengths of this mans purity. He is quite right. Quite Right my friends.
Charlie rode the street
gliding through the night
Pounding size 12 feet
Following the bright.

He made his way through life
counting all his blessings.
He packaged all his strife,
In bags with beautiful dressings.

He put them on his shelves
He hung them on his walls.
Next to all his shells
And leaves collected from many falls.

Charlie rode the street
He moved through all of life.
I moved from room to room
In your pleasures
walking through you
Or you moving around me
Showing me the different spaces
In between
The nails and board and tethering.

I felt you out entirely.
Splintered bones and Feathers

Lay in the pit of my stomach.

Feline I am prowling deep in the jungle.

Call me eve, I am the beggining
and I will be the end.

I will birth this light and destroy it.

I will limit what I create.
I will nestle it so tightly

it will suffocate slowly.
The whole time thinking of

How warm it is in mothers arms.

It wont even realize its dying...
Everything's been made for me
and said for me.
I can read between the lines
when every one is hinting to me
That they can read all of my mind,
So I'm feeling naked lately
Like I never had anything to hide.
And I don't know why I wanted too
I guess I didn't realize there is no lie.
And I can feel you know me
My every ache and desire
you never even told me
But I saw your face change by the fire
And in that moment our souls spoke
I could feel the exposer
I knew no judgment from you
And that's when I found closure.
speak to me in chords
in sighs and silly glances
in pages of thought
in deeply loved romances.

speak to me with love. with ever tiring desire.
speak to me of god, of something so much higher.
Treading new water
Breeding in a whole other way
Creation vortex
I give you my day

Two become one
I find in something else.
When I can give to you
And you are myself

Im watching world's begin
In your ineracting with me
And everything you bring
To everything that I see.

Fear sheds with the reptile skin
My root has stopped it's quaking.
And I am pushing out what's with in
And even though I may be shaking,

I'm doing it with pleasure
My fear can not encapture
I will create and measure
My own and your beautiful nature.

And we will throw it up on the canvas
we will blare it upon the air waves
we will exhume all with in our body's
Before we ever reach our graves.

And when day is done
We had joy we had fun
In all our seasons under the sun.

No repentance needed
No savior for our souls
For we found a new way of breeding
And we did become whole.
Penance never made since to me.
But with these new eyes I can see.
I volunteer myself unto you
I speak my unforgiving truth
and punishment beseech me.

Use me as an example of the evil that I am?
Or use me as a moment to hold all control.

To admit myself unknown at first and now I am known.
And then to be punished, oh.

The bribery to extinguish any type of learnt from a lesson.

I see the way you move in the shadows among lit beacons.
You can not bare the light I bear so there for you
Extinguish my flames to the others.
You show my vulnerability
for where i am offering intimacy I am offering
You the ability to destroy me if you like.

I open my womb unto you and you may sleep there
or rip it out of me.

Do you understand this confessional?
Beat me into molded clay
Fashioned for only your impression
That's what I long to be.
Divined perfectly
Created meticulously
So you only collapse with in.
Submerge your being in the hole for its placing and the whole will become.
My sing song expression
has given you a collection
of many things
to think of me by.

Dare you look to the sky
leave this place we know behind

I know its hard
I'm hard to find

but when you do
I'll make it better.
Soothe each other
in spaces together.

Read my heart in written letter.

Escape in time and out of beat.
Behold a new world
sprawling at your feet.

I beg you now do not retreat

its a once in a life time opportunity.
Make me Your bark
Your branches and leaves
and be my roots
Which bring me life and peace.

You can relax lay upon the ground
And I can be the one that will hold you down.

Make me your ray
reaching into the sky
Fill me with your love
So that we can both fly

Move through my body
into my depths
Lay on the ground
So that you can rest.

I will cover you With my folds.
I will hold you Until we are old.

So make me your woman
Your love your desire
Make me your ladder
So that we both can climb higher.
Today I accepted whats with in.
This one mind, which is every where.
and I accepted who I have been
and i realized there is no such thing as fair.

Today I opened myself to God and Satan and everything in between.

Because i realize evil is something with in Mans Illusion Dream.

So I'm allowing everything
to just  move through me...

But i still am not aloud to hold on.

I am frightened of holding still...
But while i fear I am frozen in place...
I wish that i could move by will
But I still have to many fears to face.
Hard candy breaks my teeth
As I try to eat
No matter how sweet
Shattered lively hood
Crumbles before me
Falling past my lips onto the counter
Rolling towards the edge
Where free falling
It hits the floor
And bounces once or twice
Maybe one time more
And lies flat on its existence
Never to heal
Only to rot for another sun rise
While things around it twitch
At the light it lies flat on its existence.
Never to move
This is what we call death.
The bottom of my tongue
has acid burns,
the voices in my head
have been taking turns.

And some times feels like a memory
half a day ago
from a dream.

I'm losing touch,
it would seem...

But I've been praying for serenity
for wisdom from a god.
I've been giving every thanks
I can think all day long.
Seems my darkest times are wired right between
the brightest of the lights I know I've ever seen.
My desire,
Is the want for your
My love,
Is your wholeness.

and if you want my love
you will give me closeness.

ANd will will be defined
by our affinity

for eachoter
Asphyxiation
is a declaration
of my unwillingness
of my uselessness

And sickness pouring in my body
as I worry.

What if the thoughts you exhibit create
your state of being.

What if, the morning of your car wreck, you had thought

one less thought
worried
one less time
stressed over how things were
one less time.

Would it have changed things
maybe.

What if you hadn't entertained the idea of your body
or your mind falling a part.

maybe if we learned how thoughts cause the body
to react
we could live for ever
Provocation of corruption
With in the mind.
Desire.

******* lulls me forth
Then back lashes me
With reactive shame.

I know nothing.
Wrong from right
Yet I judge
My own thoughts

And deem myself
Fallen.
Weary becomes my heart
in the lessening of sweetness
just to look into your eyes
I hide my own neediness

In such a disguise
you break all of the rules
you believe my pride and fallacy
you believe in fools.

those who say they need not love
those who say they're strong
those who hold it all together
but break before to long.
Sort of in a way
Where I'm not quite sure
And your hunger drives me insane
When I could starve myself the same.

I forget that you please me
In split seconds of frustration
And I wonder who you are
Like I don't already know.
Murdering connection,
                        or convenience in our ties.
How you'd rather tell a thousand
                               painful thought up lies
To pull me down and shake me up
                                           and make me suffer so
Because your angry about one thing
                                           and feeling such such woe.
Funny how you would destroy
                                                all that we create
In one snap of an instant
                                       while your feeling hate
Crazy how you'd shift and move
                                                               all the blame to me
When I had just pointed out
                                               one single flawing thing.
Painful how I see you now
                                               so ugly
                                                              Once so beaut.
Funny how I hear you now,
                                            once loudly
                                                             now on mute
If the Sun is a pupil
The Moon an eye too
and they are both fish
Swimming from me to you...

If the love that I have is a
Magnetic pull
and the friction that you feel
Is part of it all ....

Then why do we fight baby,
when we can love
Try not to hate me
I'll try not to shove.

I'll try not to scratch you
When your scared I'll eat you alive.
Your terrified of me
even though your twice my size...

So does that make me the Moon
The mother
Off all
and you are the SUN
I am at your beck and call.

God I love you, God I see you....

I see God in your face my beautiful man.
Candy soaked and rhythmic
see the words they make no sense
But the feeling that i'm feeling
I swear must exist


time is fully passing and the feeling is profound
like my atoms smashing every time i move my mouth
and speakings coming out, like it wants to feel so proud

but its only atoms smashing when i move my mouth
Its slipping all away from you,
one twenty years and things have past
how did it all move so fluidly
and things you never thought you'd leave
are now long forgotten in photo albums
and vhs tapes.

How time fades into the eons of some one elses heritage.
Did you lose or did you gain?
How could we ever know....
Life has really been so strange to me. Moments cascade through my mind. A picture here, a sound there, all nostalgia.

Bullfrog eggs in a tractor tire filled with water,
and I am 6 and I am alone.
I am in the woods,
and I am away from home.
I am missing my mom,
who has been gone a while.
I am strange,
in the mind of a child.

When My grandparents stole me from my drug addicted mother,
I felt as if i couldn't go on, like I would truly smother.
5 was to young to be ripped away from her,
and I would be underestimating it if i said it just hurt.
It was like my air supply had been ripped from my lungs
It was like I was on autopilot pretending to have fun.
a New school No mom, no dad either.
Just grand ma and Grandpa, they did keep it cleaner,
but it wasn't the same.
To me it was insane.
It was different it was wrong..
I couldn't go on.
Winter has been aching .
For the lives it's been taking.
All in reactionary course
Reverberating universal remorse.
Echos in the ice cannon  Of the wrongs we commit
Crying to the winter for a one time requit.
But all in reactionary course
Humbling us with tradition of remorse.
Guts climbing
into my mouth and out of my ***
Sick would be an understatement
Nauseas doesn't pin it down
Anxiety is rolling waves
And I'm crumbling with out a sound.
I'm quivering with sweat
I only wanted to be sober
I will not feel regret
Tomorrow I can start over.
these eyes have never seen
what these skies have done to me
and i guess it never was as easy
as i claimed it to be.

these eyes have opened up,
but the sky it closes shut.
And home is all but nothing
I've held to for ages,

and it all comes crashing down
just like i always said it would.

Because they sky's don't know the meaning
But the eyes can see the point
that the life here that i'm leading
is living in joint.
and us we are all bleeding
Waiting for our anoint.
Let me taste the sweetness of your breath,
please don't hesitate,
there are no reasons left,
For you to hide from me,
so open up your chest
I mean no judgment of your dear,
to me you are at best.....
When your waking early mornings
when your laughing over loud
when your taking more than your portion
when your shoving in the croud
when your angers got the best of you,
how you raise your voice
how quickly grace can fall from you
as you lose all your poise.
Let me taste your breath  
feel no insecurity
please feel no unrest
Always in each passing moment
i see you at your best
my sweet husband
love of my heart
rip me apart
leave me here in the drive way.
She left again, she left again.
Is it always going to be this way.

My mother
I love her
she hates me she hates me.
My mother
my suffer
Berates me and hates me.

I never wanted your face
Your smile  your eyes.
I never wanted to disgrace
Your assumptions you surmised.

I never wanted to be
what you wanted from me
I never wanted your hate.

My mother
my first lover
my suffer
my first pain.
My mother
I love her.
My mother
my insane.
I used to shove needles in my arms.
Now I don't.
And i have to be honest
I'm having a bit of a identity crisis.

Who the **** am i
and what should I do?
I get up.
I clean up.
I wash up
I try.
But it really seems,
that I'll probably still die..
and if thats the case,
then whats the ******* point.
When the most fun you have
is when you hit the joint,
but dont get me wrong,
I like it just fine.
Just seems something stronger
could maybe ease my mind.
Like really what Im seeking
is a deep undead bed
where the breathing in my lungs
slowly comes to a stop
and before i know it
the whole worlds better off.
Like whats the point of living,
if you'll only ever die.

These are the things i think of
when i'm staring into the sky.
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