Lately I've been searching for a new home.
Ever since you left nothing feels right.
My childhood home is like a graveyard.
My favorite coffee shop is filled with ghosts.
The passenger side seat of my car
has your fingerprints all over it.
I've been searching for new things
to make me feel whole again,
since everything I used to love has
the remnants of you all over them.
For now I sit on a street corner,
homeless.
Holding a sign that reads,
"searching for something to ignite
the fire in my chest again after my home
with two arms, two legs, and a beating heart
got up and left."

I thought that
it would be worth giving a try,
so I got involved
in the sweet sound of your voice.

I could not explain
but I was sure.
It was you,
all this time.
The empty side of my bed
all the love songs
all the love poems
all the things I’ve ever wrote.

It’s you.
It’s always been you.

- g.c.

I was a boy of dreams and songs
And hopes of fine tomorrows
Before someone robbed my joys
And left me all this sorrow.
I believed in people and trust
And had it all taken away from me
And it was all done with lies
That spoke to me so lovingly.

The boy turned into a man
In just that one sad evening
When expectations became
The frost of no longer believing.
There were words and scowling
But mostly on my own part
Because it was obvious then
There was no love in your heart.

How could I know back then
That such people existed?
I would have had a day of fun
And everything else resisted.
I would have looked at you
As a face on a passing train
And never cared if either of us
Ever saw each other again.

But you came to me with words
All polished as smooth as stone
And convinced me, in my youth,
That they were for me alone.
I don’t pretend to understand
How people can be so cruel.
I just see now how my innocence
Was the perfect kind of fuel.

The flame that I felt burning
Was some kind of fantasy
That you wove just for fun
With no relation to reality.
But such is life, I move on
And learn to take my time
To see who is a criminal
And whose care is genuine.

Crushed to the core,
sinking like an anchor,
To the floor.
Pull me from the depths,
drowning in the wreckage,
of a wounded heart.
Feel the blood from a punctured lung,
tears, screams all around,
drifting in the water below.
Breathing in water through your nose,
but when you rise,
you rose to fill every expectation.
Everybody has an expiration date,
this time I’m not gunna fight,
to find a way out,
cuz I’m tired of being a fighter,
Yeah hold up a lighter.
In loving memory,
of everything we shared,
they gave me more, than I could bare.
And now there is no flare,
to light the skies.
God gave me hope, gave me strength, to carry on.
But you can only keep going, on for so long.
It was in the way she talked,
and in the way she walked,
that the poisonous fumes,
from the scent of her perfume,
Stunned and trapped me in your love.
Got tricked, into a trap,
I’ll never escape from.
Take a flying leap of faith,
Into the ocean and rocks below,
See if I can overcome the pain,
The pain of the day, she walked away.
Swallow all my pride,
learned everything from a beating heart,
that shined so brightly in the dark.
Nobody likes to be alone and apart,
yeah lock my love in your mind,
know that what was mine,
you’ve inherited all of the stars tonight.
Because without you, they just won’t shine.
That means I’ll be walking blind,
so light up everything we have inside,
I’ll be your angel wings in flight,
I’ll take you flying through the skies,
yeah baby blue eyes,
I called her baby blue eyes.

©2017 Written By Benji James