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  Aug 2014 krissie
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you are not twenty seven years old. you are twenty seven sorrows, twenty seven apologies, twenty seven broken pencils in a coffee mug. you used to keep memories like fireflies in jars, but now, you harvest them like organs, and you can't shake them to make you glow. i stuck a bird in where my heart should be but my pulse still sounds like a dial tone. the way a ticking clock drives a person insane is the way everything falls in love with you. the way everything falls in love with you is the way that delicate things break, and everything is delicate in the presence of a hurricane. you know how to be a storm, but no one loved you enough to show you how be a home, and the foundation you are built on is a broken as our mind - you are held together by tape and tiny hands , you are bound together by apologies and if anyone forgave you, you would simply fall apart. we must fold ourselves seventy seven times and tuck ourselves into the arms of the people we love, in hopes they never learn to read our language, and you are words written in a way that leaves everyone hanging onto each one by the skin of their teeth, even if they don't understand. I hope it's fine if i still try. if you are brave enough to touch the world, you will find that it is constantly on fire, and you never have to ask for a light.
you are not twenty seven years old, you are twenty seven wet matches, twenty seven empty rooms to scream in, twenty seven breakdowns in the bathroom. sometimes you are the sun and you can rise, but you are a deadly comedown (in any event, you are always glowing). I can hear you folding and unfolding like an origami flower, my hands know where you bend even though i have never touched you. i have seen the fear that drips through the cracks in your tough exterior, and i pried apart my own innocence to slip my way inside.  
  how many times do you groan before you finally heave and let the weight **** you? you know, contrary to what is generally believed, love knows bounds very well. it knows them and, it plunges over them, spills and overcomes you and foams around your feet before dragging you out to open see and mocks your cries for help until you finally stop thrashing and succumb to the sick trick that you have fallen for. i used to think love was a steady push and pull, but then i love you; when play tug of war with a ghost, you always end up with enough rope on your side to make a noose out of. i wanted to turn you on, not disgustingly, but in the way that i stumble in the dark, groping the wall for a switch. all of my nerves were hair triggers when you opened your mouth, now they are loud sirens and they scream when you are gone. a barely present as you would like to paint yourself out to be, i have felt you in places that are four dimensional, in the depths of my own murky consciousness that not even i know how to reach. the way a storm busts down a wooden door is the way that you enter a room,  the way you enter me. you know how to bend the light and you know how to break it, too. allow me to envelop myself in you like words in brackets, but never let me speak aloud. how many times can someone caress your jaw until it feels like you've been clocked repeatedly, and how many times can you fall in love with same person before you bust your mouth completely on their shoulder?
even after you have dragged me through this fire and made me bite all of the dust and all of the concrete beneath it, i have still loved you with a mouthful of broken teeth. now i am here to spit them out into your hands and make enough room in my throat to cough up my stifled pride.
krissie Aug 2014
These are the hands of a poet.
Let them travel the map of your body
And emblazon a brand new world.
Believe that they will carry you through.

These are the thoughts of a poet.
Let them move you, and trust
That they will take precious measure
To ponder the lone flower in the battlefield
As well as the war itself.

This is the heart of a poet.
Let it fill itself with tender love
And beat itself to blissful death.
Know it's one of the bravest and most delicate;
Promise never to break it.

This is the life of a poet.
Let it be, that every good, bad, or in-between
Can turn into a rhyme or a free verse line.
Understand, this is how we learn to breathe.
one of my few attempts at free verse. unintentional rhyme scheme at the end there. old habits die hard.
  Aug 2014 krissie
Marge Redelicia
your bubble has been burst and you
plunge into the middle of a boundless ocean.
you were a big fish in a small pond but now
you're bottom feeder in a bottomless abyss where
if you don't keep swimming,
you'll start sinking.

but even as you get immersed in the filth
don't let it stain the purity
don't let it drain the joy
that is in you.
and though the wind howls and the waves crash,
keep your eyes wide open
so that you may readily
glimpse victory:
tomorrow
this storm will be chased away
by blue skies and a glorious morning.

don't let those dark circles under your eyes
take away that bright future.
don't let those tears
extinguish the fire of your spirit.
do not just struggle,
conquer.
do not just survive,
thrive.

fear is normal
but don't let it devour
and drive you to flee or freeze,
instead
be strong and courageous and
in good faith
Fight!
you may not have a back-up team,
but Someone has already gone before you
and He who started
will also see to it that
it
is
finished.
krissie Aug 2014
A glitch in my brain that I can't seem to shake
Even the mundane causes me fear and pain
Stupid, worthless, my own self-fulfilling prophecy
Dependent, useless, I can't keep up with everything

The muscle inside my chest beats
Therefore, I exist
Therefore, I am
I am?
I am...
I am.
But what the hell am I?
how i think on a bad day
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