we held hands, we stumbled
in tattered coats, we mumbled
in our palms, we held the time
passing shattered windows
in our bob-bobbing boats and
we ran away from the rising sun
now we are running
away from the rising sun
running away from it
on creaky rotting docks
over sneaky sharp rickety rocks
(we) (wanted to see it) (rise forever)
[throbbing throats] [throbbing throats]
-we are the rising sun-
(we are the rising sun )
>lockets lickety locked< and
we grew tired >> we grew tired
(we are the change)
we had thrown away the key <<
(we are the ones)
and _ we had slowed down _
(we have been waiting for)
and ^the sun had sped up /
and that time
oh that time was slipping
between our fingertips dripping
(we are dawning)
(we are dawning)

boom boom boom and
It's glowing technicolor grid lines
and points of pulsating rainbowdots
tracing silhouettes of wriggling bodies
intertwined with the cursive signature of
rhythm boom boom boom

and then it's cold air and
briskly-shivering-bliss-bodies
huddled in giggling masses
amassing intentions of warmth

I blink and step over a threshold
into a cute-house-cute-house but —

it looks oddly outlined,
too angular, out of place...
but it may just be that
my thoughts are curved
and blurry after a night of
bouncing around to
electronically generated sound particles
pulsating from amplifiers that engulf my body
in a bubbling-sonic-ball-pit jumping up and down
in sync to nearly-bone-shattering-bass leaving
every fiber of my being little jelly fish
going with the flow

It seems strange to be back amidst the throes
of right angles and forced aesthetics
engineered with only efficiency and
capital in mind.

A cute-boy-cute-boy with
long, dark, wavy hair offers me a
blue-pill-blue-pill 'time to chill', he says

He looks a bit like me and his hair is
highlighted with electricity
and he's me he's me I see

Baby blue pop ****
powder blue chalk.
Spit it out
halfway chewed
let it roll into my pocket
safe for later suffrin'-suckage

Now I've gone, over
and I'm out now and
there's a blackout in my
mind now black

My eyes slowly slide open
to a succubus staring into my soul
******* its contents from my pupils...
and it holds me there, smiling
until I am nothing but a
dried cantaloupe skin
sitting in the safety of my room...

I blink and I am up and moving,
leaving the room into a hallway of endless doors
leading to other endless hallways of other endless doors and
a shadowy figure, quite familiar, swiftly steps into one as I step out.
Gone. Was it really there? I step through another doorway and
in the corner of my eye I see the shadow return to the hall.
I step back and it steps forward and I step forward and it steps back.

I step-step through the threshold and
I'm back in the city.

There's six or seven others with me
and they all look quite familiar, they
all look quite a bit like me.

and we're all going
we're all going somewhere
but I can't seem to figure out what to bring

and I'm emptying my pockets but
my pockets are universes
endlessly expanding and
before I know it,
my life sits pretty in a pile before me

I leave it all and I leave...
I'm gone, over and out now
I'm on the street getting into my car
to go go go and I'm driving and
I have no idea where I'm going
or what the hell I'm doing.

I'm lost now and I wonder,
how am I going to be found?

Stop, park. There's a bus!
They've always got somewhere to go...
I climb aboard and it's completely-empty-dead-of-night.

The driver hands me a beautifully bound book of poetry and
it reads quite a bit like mine does.

Turns out we're on a trolley and
we're ascending the sides of buildings
and we're going up, up
and up into
bright stars
suspended in a
deep blue sky
fading to green...

WAIT!!!
We need to stop!
I need to get off!
I need to be somewhere else!

The trolley descends and we stop at the dead street.
Right angle buildings line the sides of the parallel lines.

I get out and the driver gets out with me and
all of a sudden we're dancing in the road!

LOOK!
The stars!
They are pulsating
in connected constellations
sparkling and

LOOK!!
LISTEN!!
You can hear them glowing
in sync with the breath of the universe!

We bask in their glory and
I recognize the driver
as a childhood friend.

SID!? Siddhartha?!

I blink and
on another corner
someway somehow
some ways away
there are six to seven people
looking quite a bit like I do and
they're standing and waiting for me.
They're all waiting for me, but
I've forgotten everything...
at the cute house.

One splits and now I'm three!
and it's me and me and Katiie
and we're going back to the
cute house cute house
but there's all these walls we gotta
crawl under and squeeze between
and walls we have to climb over and
hoops we gotta jump through!

and it's crawl under smooosh!
face-squeeze-jump-walk and I JUMP! -
to the top of a building and walk walk
and leap! down-and-walk-walk-jump
bounce-bounce up-the-wall reaching
fingertips-cling-pull up-and-over and
on-the-roof, walk-walk, jump-fall and
land-crawl under another wall and
squeeeeeeeze!

"At least all their blinds are shut," says Katiie, chuckling.

I realize I'm naked and wake up.

i wake up
i rise up
and i've got some
time to exist
in peace.

before i start noticing

before i start getting caught in the thickets
before i start getting caught in the
thicket thoughts thicket thoughts

I am trying to savor that blurry time
I like walking that blurry line
between sleeping
between leaping
from keep to keep

because life is just one blurry line
between sleeps

a line of salt poured onto a table
dissipating around the edges
you can see the surface
beneath it
it rises up like a mountain range
I am rising out of the ocean like a *******
I am a surface rising out of a sea of salt
I am an ocean rising out of a surface
out of a surface out of a surface
I rise up.

I'll see you
on the other side
of the event horizon
of conscious perception,

where we can float around
as bubbles through
solar systems
like astral projections,

and draw the line
between love
and perfection,

so we can use it
as a hop skip and a jumprope,
and we'll do it 1, 2, 3, but
what are we counting four?

Where does the rotation
begin, anyway? Don't ask me!
Let's just go for a spin!

Right from the start
and left from the fin,

any day, any night,
love, yan and yin,
I'll see you!

/here again
//here again
///here again
////here again
we're always back-
words going forwards
we're tripping black hole light benders
and we let it spiral in and spiral out
and we **** it in and spit it out
and we're a time twister and
I've got all my ticks and
tocks in a knot but you
pull that string and
it all comes loose and
then I've got all my
feathers in a row
weighing in at about
a thousand pounds and
they're laced down the
skin of my shoulders
and they're tied in there
with your hair and the blades
of my shoulders have sprouted
and grew and sometimes
they can be heavy

and I'm folding in
on myself and I'm
a fern growing back
in time and I'm the
granite gargoyle at
the gate of my soul

spread my stone wings
spread my wings and fly
unfurl the feathery fern, fly
fly forward fly forward
for words for words
for words

let it go and
let it flow so
you can grow

What if,
instead of shooting
people into space,
we grew our way there?
What if,
we built tree forts in trees,
so that we could plant trees
in the tree forts,
and when they grow,
build more forts
in those trees and
continue that process
while adding gardens
all along the way
along with more tree forts
for everyone to live in
and everything would be connected
to form a living structure
that continually grew around us
as we continually grew within it
and our atmosphere would
expand
to encompass an amount of space
that we could have never imagined,
and we would grow with the trees
stronger, sturdier, and healthier
rather than continually
contract
and thin by thickening the pollution
in the space within our atmosphere
as we die with the trees
weak, withered, and dis-eased?

My God, what even am I?

branches are
sprouting out of my heart
and ripping
through my rib cage

my bones are shattering
as I shiver from the growth

it's all so sudden,
I feel like someone's squeezed me like a squeaky toy with it eyes
popping out of its sockets

except they're no longer attached and they're hurtling through space
at a trillion light years per second

I know I'm here to break my heart open as wide as I can so let me carve it into the bark so you can taste the sap

I'm a hall of mirrors
with many twisted reflections

I'm the shattered mirror
on your bathroom wall

They call me Narcissus

I look into the river and
fall in love with the
reflection in the
shimmering water

I go to kiss it

and my shadow falls
around it

My vision blurs
and it goes out of focus

Warm lips
Ice cold water

I'm trying so hard
I don't know what to do
My heart is aching
Thinking of you

A small square of paper
Sits on my tongue
With razor sharp edges
and tasting of dung

It takes me to spaces
Deep in my mind
Where there's too many places
and not enough time

I've been drowned in guilt
and I'm suspended in shame
Repeatedly killed
like in a video game

Written upon
the sharp paper square
are words for destruction
and guilt and despair

It's a trip like no other
you won't even feel high
you'll feel like a bother
and just want to cry

'...You're wrong, you're wrong,
you're wrong, you're wrong
How could you do this
How could you
do this to me...'

I'm floating in place with
no lover to face
trembling, trembling
trembling heart space

I'm spinning in circles
looking for miracles
and it's proving to be
horribly difficult

Trying to fly
with no wings to spread
I crumble and cry
a song for what's dead

the sound of alarms
ring in my head
Take me
cradle me in your arms

Drifting in place
dead in deep space
You left me here with
tears on my face

Crystalline droplets
scintillating pearls
spinning in circles,
spirals, and swirls

Why did you think
to leave me alone
at the cold ugly brink
a frost to the bone

the cold hard shoulder
feels far colder
than a lifeless boulder
I'm cold, I'm
cold

I speak with my music
and these notes are my words
My harp is my voice
and these strings are the cords

I try hard to play
But you've cut them all off
My harp is left bare
naked, unstrung

I'll move all the pedals
But unto what end?
I can't speak my heart
I can no longer pretend

It's time to stand up
and take a great bow
Walk off the stage
The end is

floating heartbrain
silly cilia stickin' out in all directions

antennae with fingertips extrapolating the surrounding situation

form dictated by the circumstance of inward pressure in correlation to outward pressure in conjunction with the trajectory and spin of itself and all others surrounding

indescribable without it's surroundings lest it be left lacking; it is the result of touch
the ethics of touch

it is the reception of signals from all directions; a hodgepodge of waveforms
a hot tangled spaghetti dinner forever forcefed to the happysad hungerstriker grateful

forever hateful
love is all we need
love is all we are
grateful
for hatred

pain gives way to bliss
sensitive cilia
feel me
feel you
feel all

Does my very existence not fit into your narrow idea of what a human being should be?

That you even hold a belief that my identity should have parameters truly disconcerts me.

First, I feel a reactionary urge to be sorry for not fitting into this tiny little cardboard box you've made for me.

This box you want to close up and push to the back of a dusty shelf.

This is because I'm used to being swept under the rug like a mess you don't want to see but you don't have the time for.

Then, I want to crush it beneath my feet and tear it apart.

But the mother within me caresses your hateful glare with a sorry stare.

Disappointed... worried, I gently pick it up.

With a sad smile, I begin to open it.

Carefully, with the calloused pads of my fingers, I untuck each fold you have created in order for this box to contain my soul.

With each motion, I make sure not to rip it at the seams. That would hurt.

It seems, though, this material has been handled unlovingly to begin with.

Mold has made its way into the corners, and the fibers are fraying at each corner, at every fold.

But I am patient. I will slowly but surely deconstruct each and every hateful box that has been stacked in the musty warehouse of your heart.

I will be here until all unsuspecting souls have escaped their prisons.

I will be here until I die.
But that's okay.

It gives me something to do with my hands.
Plus I enjoy the company of the liberated.

I need their help to clean this place up.

hey, whatsup break me open and have a look inside
a suh dood check out these heady feels but like
whoa bruh they tell me
simmer down
you're harshin that mellow
yellow matter it's no matter tell me something new
find me something else to say I'm a
fried egg in a skull here's some banter
gallop trot and canter I'm just horsin' around
of course it's not finely ground buddy 'ol pal
you'll have to crush it up yourself
if ya wanna snort it
but hey let's abort that mission
I'm just tryin' to chill in the kitchen
all I want is a nice meal I don't want
anyone to steal these lasts wisps of my soul
let's smoke a bowl and forego the physical
maybe think about something quizzical
something that'll bring me elsewhere
anywhere but before

Love is further than the tip of my tongue,
closer than my fingertips, and
deeper than my fullest breath.

I hold my life in the palm of my hand
it is the weight of the universe
mi mano es su mano
all is all my life
the universe is ours to hold

Making the decision to hold on
gives that which is held
the ability to hold onto you,
whereby it can then impair
your ability to perceive
the difference between

you making the decision to hold on to something and
you making the decision to let something hold onto you.

**** me sideways
my face is melting off
I've tried nine ways to hell and back
to make it stop make it stop please but
this force is electrocuting me
crackling inside of my veins
melting capillaries

sound the bell
tick tack toe
gotcha

underlying intentions bubble up from under the surface of my skin as the roaring inferno engulfs my body

I am surrounded by a fiery tornado of unforgiven sins

this demon's embrace is a warm one

take me back
to the days of wander
never dull with woe
eyes bright with wonder

dancing with butterflies on
sunny days with warm breezes
twirling around in the pouring rain
dripping molten caramel onto the
fluffy snow in the backyard

the scent of the honeysuckle

I love that I am
I am that I love
I am nothing, everything, silent, and singing
I am complacent and I am resisting
I am not equal
I am less than, greater than, and equal to
I am that I will and I will that I am
I am here and I am there
I am skin and I am hair
I am truth and I am dare
I am that I keep and I am that I share
I'm unjust and I am fair
I am apathy and I am care
I am clothed and I am bare
I am broken and I am whole
I am two and I am one
I am the moon and I am the sun
I am the sky and the stars that glow
I am ignorant
I am what I know
I am all my secrets
I am what I show
I am the dead of deep space
and the billion winds that blow

I am I am I am

[I][am][in][love]
[I][amin][love]
[Iam][inlove]
[I][aminlove]
[Ia­min][love]
[Iaminlove]
in][love
[inlove]
in[love]
[in]love
in[]lo­ve

I forgive
myself, and you
I love, and give
my self to.

toasted snippets of crispy information
lie on white plates rapidly cooling
while lips dry into deserts
of steel-toe apathy

stale bread waits, uneaten
growing fuzzy colonies of mold
that scream in delight at your
dipper-dapper disinterest

breadcrumbs blaze new trails through
forests of great-grandfather clocks,
looming ominously as they sing
tick-tock with woodpeckers where

a manic imp bakes loaves for
several forevers in an attempt
to escape its inevitable
decomposition

grasping at salvation and
fumbling for words that slip
from buttered fingertips

better luck next time

You are the art. You are the artist and the artist is love and the love is the creator and the creator is the artist and you are the art. The artist is the art and the art is the artist. You are love and you plant seeds of yourself. You plant seeds of energy, thought, and emotion in the garden of your life and you are the garden. You are the garden and you are the gardener. The seeds' shells crack, the insides come out, and everything changes, and your shell cracks and all your insides come out and everything changes. Tendrils reaching up and up and it is growing and you are growing. You are giving them time to grow, space to grow, and love and you are giving yourself time to grow and space to grow and love... to grow. The plants will grow and grow and you will grow and know that they will blossom and you will blossom and when they blossom they will blossom out of your garden and into another's and so shall you.

The Second Day of the First Hour
I was with flowing fingertips, breathing
as I enticed the thoughtkin to dance with me.
They're seemingly flimsy
at times, somewhat silly but
they are beautiful in motion.

The Third Week of the Second Minute
I asked them to come fly with me so that
we could swing from the brightest stars and
be little monsters in space to fully embrace
our alien lifeforms

The Fourth Month of the Third Second**
I carved heaven in the road
and walked slowly to
read it's every inch

nope
find me split downright sideways
up the middle coming from a
different direction

take me to dead fish laughing gull with
sickly sirens blaring blue notes
up to my eyeballs

dogs are barking down my throat and
I'm a tongue tied around a
whispering jack-o-lantern
kissing a mask in the corn maze

push my broken harp around in a
squeaky wheelbarrow tell me I'm
lighting candles for the dead find me
the next day asleep in my dreams
in my dreams I'm awake in my bed

asleep in my dreams
I'm waiting to wake up
in the underground

find me freaking out
find me finding myself lost
and unfinding myself lost and found

find me found
grind me into the ground
under your heel toe heel toe
skip to my truth

teeth grinding like gears as
a cog in the machine I'm a
canteen of watermelon sunshine ******

needles bent and battered
broken and shattered kind souls
in the black hole and I'm asphyxiating
just looking at it

blood drop
cancer

and I still love

It's further than the tip of my tongue,
closer than my fingertips,
deeper than my breath.
It's there,
I can feel it.

I fell asleep and
I woke up dreaming

there is a reunion happening
a reunion to strengthen unions

and there is only
the illusion of fault

it is all love

foam body
ocean wave sinking throne
muddy waters polished stone
sunbath getaway find a way out
little hole in the skyward flame
eyes of blame and guilt trains
take it further to the last domain
falling off the brink to a walk of shame
not a game
not each other's to tame
broken down frame slump slump trip
hop skip and frown I'm trying to turn down right sideways to see the beauty in this piece show me something new
find me something new to say
got all the blobs and not the right way
I'm a viscous liquid spinning down a drain
black hole and frolicking over billowing plains of uncertainty
currently in blissful mystery
and it feels like a million ants
are biting my wings
as they wake up
certainly

We're all parched.

In a circle we sip
from the watering hole,
all sides, another animal
most of them pay me no mind

but the lion stares at me
from across the rain,

his whiskers brush
the surface —
I respect you.

He laps up his drink,
and with a flick of his tail,
bids farewell to good company.

I look down into the ripples,
formed from the mouths of
many thirsty beasts,
and I look up into my weary eyes.

I am grateful to be alive.

Kissed by rippling lips,
myself I drink deeply

Because this
may be the last time
I return to quench my thirst.

I wipe the drips from my lips,
and look down where they rippled

Lion smiles up.

I was alone in
flesh and bone.
Flesh and bone
Flesh and bone bone
Bone.

I crawled into your ribcage,
I crawled into your cracks,
and never did I stop to think
to think of how I how I act.

What we say and
What we do were
not at one they
were at two and
'You and I' were
meant to die 'cause
we only came to finish.

and all we wanted was some warmth
all we wanted was some warmth
but I gave you
pickled poison
We gave each other
poison poison and
I took your tainted blood I
took your tainted blood

What am I, a needle?

Needle needle
need me please
Roll up your sleeve
Roll up your sleeve!
Cut off your circulation
Stop the flow
Soon you'll know
Soon you'll know
Soft skin blue veins
Red sin steel chains
Penetrate your skin
let the poison in in
let the poison in
I need to have you
I need to HAVE you
Gimmegimmegimme
You're mine, you're
ALL MINE!

I was alone in
flesh and bone
I was alone
I was alone

sloshing through
the pipes, rats riding
a winding wave notwithstanding
the pull of the riptide untied and tried
typically clear blue true without you
unrhymed but confined and unheard
born broken unnurtured and blind
further outside of my mind you lined
the blinds with ******

but I heard her outside the lines
a herder, she shined in my eyes
reflecting signs of sobbing sighs
releasing white withering pines
bare blown apart mines
bland broken times

Jesus was a liar and Ghandi was a fuccboi.

Prophets hate themselves the most.

Try to be pure light and you will never be.

You are not a single drop of ***** in an ocean of ****.
You are an ocean of **** in a single drop. Don't tell me that's not ******* beautiful.

You came from sacks of fat floating around in primordial goop.
Don't tell me that's not ******* beautiful.

You are 99% vacuous void but that 1% still makes you visible to me.
Tell me that's ******* disgusting.

I used to think I was all love and light and that was it.
Everything else was shame.
Everything else was to blame.
Everything else was also me.

I am mostly nothing and mostly darkness.
Don't tell me that's not ******* beautiful.

That despite being a walking maelstrom of empty space and spasmodic dance,
I am a ******* universe expanding in all directions simultaneously.

The only reason you can see the stars in the sky is because of all the emptiness.

The only reason you can look into my eyes is because of the little bit of life that shines through my pupils.

The only reason you can hold me in your arms is because the trillions and trillions of quanta that hold me together hate themselves and love each other because they all know that they hate themselves.

It's because they're entangled in a hot mess of spaghetti, sauce, and melted cheese.
Like a functioning dysfunctional family, we are trying our best and we all hate ourselves but we are trying love each other anyway.
Because we feel it.

Vacuous void. Chaotic dance.
Mostly nothing and a little bit of everything.

Look:
There is a sadness in the eyes of conformists.
One can see the same in those convulsing radically in opposition.
The sadness comes from lingering at a window of perception for far too long.
Engage those with sadness in their eyes. Listen to them, and they will also listen.
Both will gaze through each other's windows. Each will have lent each other liberation from their chains of perception.

These are concepts to explore.
I used to spend my days people-watching.
I now spend my days window-watching.
Do not become chained to a state of sedentary perception.
Walk through the universe's gallery of windows. It is an infinite hallway.
Explore the galaxies of the minds of others.
Explore your own.
Every star is an eye, a window to a different reality.

Get up off the ground. Sit no longer at your dusty window!
I urge you to break the gaze from your oh so cherished glass.
Break your chains. Discard your burdens.
For this is the only way that you may truly explore!
This is the only way that you may truly become free.

fall into love with me
and we'll fall out together
jump into love with me
and we'll fall forever

Gods ruling
over dolls and
miniature houses

'I want that.'
'No.'
'That.'

'Give me that.'

Change it up

points of light
poke holes in the
fabric of the universe
connect the dots
an intricate lace

I wish that for once my heart
would jump up off the floor
and climb back up into my ribcage
and into my chest

Maybe then
I'll be able to rest

Lady Moonsun,
you showered me in
silky sheets of glowing lovelight
you embraced me with
warm rays of shimmering soulshine

you pushed and pulled my ocean's tides in and out like a lilting melody making love to a perfect harmony

but slowly you
drifted away
into space
to shine on new rocks
leaving me cold my
ocean waves
still

learn how to be patient,
learn how to be wild,
learn how to be hot, and
learn how to be mild,

learn how to love,
learn how to be loved,
learn how to stand for yourself
when push comes to shove,

learn to be your own parent,
learn to be your own child,
learn to be patient,
and learn to be wild,

learn how to receive,
learn how to give,
learn how to die, and
learn how to live

Queer, genderqueer, non-binary, non-hetero, pan, omni, gay, pagan, quaker.
whatever.

Labels may make people more easily digestable, but I don't want to be devoured by your limited paradigm.

I don't want your gut to strip me of my intricacies and **** them out only to be flushed away.

If you are trying to engulf me and break me down you will surely *****.

I will make sure of it.

My name is Gian, and
My name is Gigi,
and I hope that even that
is hard for you to keep down.

if you love them
Let them go
if you hate them
Let them go
But don't let them go
for them
Let them go
for you
Free them
and Free yourself

Let us be mindful of who we are.
Let us be mindful of love,
our very essence.
Let us open ourselves to love, and
in so doing, open ourselves to ourselves.
Let us open ourselves to each other, our other ourselves.
Let us be mindful of what we choose to identify with.
What we choose not to identify with.
Let us be mindful of who we are.
Who we are not.
Let us know what we want and do not want.
Let us see what others want and do not want.
and let us do not harm.
Let us do love.

Sometimes I'm afraid of the dark...

but I shouldn't exorcise the past.
I won't burn it at the stake.

I should accept its every demon
and make friends with them.

That's all they want.
Friends.
Some love.

I should really respect them.
They've helped me pave the way
to this very moment.

Sometimes...
I'll whistle or sing,
when I can't see in the dark.

I used to throw blind punches.

Turn on the light and
I'd look like a real silly person
fighting with their shadow.

The melodies keep me flowing
through space and time.

I really shouldn't fight with the present.
I should unwrap it forever as an infinite gift.

We should waltz 'til we fall.

The future is an unlit cellar.
I want to run inside to get what I need and split.

But when it comes time...

I will dance
with the darkness
and sing softly
holy matrimony
into its ears.

I will whistle
divine praise
into its mouth.

Let's sing 'til we faint.

I'm just as afraid of the light
as I am of the dark.

Let's dance 'til we die.

I'm just as in love with them both.

death is a dissolution of the self into the surround
life is a condensation of the surround into the self

we are dying and living simultaneously

What I feel are rivers filled
with droplets made of life.

Like water, life rushes
over stone, yet wears
through mountains
over many years.

Lakes are memories
met by many rivers.

States of mind
are crossroads,
cross rivers.

Which channel
will I flow through?
How many times?

How deep will
I let it go, before
it becomes so dark
that I cannot see
the bottom?

—

Along the river are trees,
wooden waterways.
They grow with the
flow of the river.

Each new branch, growing,
shedding old leaves, casting
new shade, reaching new light.

New life.

Why must we pencil dive
straight into the eye
of each other's souls?

I want to love lightly.

I yearn to someday make something of utmost individuality.
But it seems today I'm pensively turning blank pages perpetually.

It seems I'm marred, and it's
macrame macrame, same thing every time.

Presumably, light of it comes, but with what am I left as it goes?

Retinal scarring! Badum poots.

Maybe some knots in the cords of my back and creases down the corners of my every smile.

What comes up
must go down
dimple dimple frown frown
Come on outside for a while!
Sunshine daisy daffodil!
Hills and valleys, mountains
and canyons it's a whole
life story out there

But then I sit down
sit down,
and pluck the same strings
same strings.
Different order
same strings.
What'sit bring?
What's it bring?

Today I sit down
sit down
to tell you a story.
It's a short story,
but it's also a long story.

Like a mountain range you see from miles away without walking it's entire length.

I was a little monster with blinders on.
I took to my parents in a way of which I'm not too fond.
I was an orb of obsession and wrinkles of scorn on her forehead.
I was particles and waveforms trying to ride a bicycle.
I was ropa vieja mistaken for some kinda soup.

Papá!
You taught me how you saw the workings of the universe but you worked it like a cockroach. You turned me into low tail low tail grinding on the guard rail. Ready to flip over the side and tumble tumble crash. I was ready to die. You sewed my face onto screens of LEDs screaming with the cries of unclothed children. and you left me crying Mäma!

Mäma!
Saving grace grave face I'm sorry for what he's done to you. I see the weight of over two decades worth of ball and chain dead leaves still dangling from your eyelashes. I see you ripping them out from the roots when it gets to be too much. I solemnly sit beside you at that cursed kitchen table trying to wish on as many of my own so that yours may grow back without any fault. Oh, but I see them sprouting out all crooked in all directions and whenever you bat an eye you run the risk of years of silent tears tumbling on back in an attempt to finally be heard.

I've learned that no truth will come from the wishes you make on the lashes you take with force. Let 'em go with grace. Leave them alone and let them fall from your face like the loudest raindrops.

Our wishes come true just as we speak —
and listen...

did they know -
their lives were all being recorded
every little microexpression, every
reaction to every perception -
branded onto reels of film

when they're dead and gone
their lives will be played back for them
and their reactions will be recorded
little did they know -

side show tickle tackle
fickle gabber earth battle
pillow blanket thought shatter
mass matter pitter patter
putter thither butter hither
liver wither ***** bottle
chicken shiver beak waddle
heliocentric planet model
wrong and boring after all
wrong and boring after all
lol ol ol ol ol ol ol

All of a sudden I'm a shadow
and it seems I can't escape that which blocks the sun. Every move I make, the eclipse follows. And all of a sudden, I'm a celestial body and it seems I can't escape this being that falls beneath me. Every move I make, the darkness follows.

Equals ~ at the very least in inescapability!

Running from each other results in fatigue.

So does shadow boxing.

Don't beat'cher self up kiddo.
Chin up, quit starin', it ain't gonna leave!
There's a big bright sky right above ya!
Just look arouunnd!