I want to be over you
because it’s exhausting to keep putting in
giving in, L-I-V-I-N without your acknowledgement
Why do I need validation for the love I harbor?
I want a well-equipped sailor to stay in my tempestuous shores
but apparently I can’t see loyalty through my own turbulent seas
Consiciveness--speak with brevity, pull back the shades of transparency
I used to think you saw me
if that were so, you’d know how dispirited I’ve been
and that you’ve had a small part to play
by sending me mixed signals at some point some days
or maybe I’m insane, as are you
repeating the same actions expecting different results--
is not really the definition of insanity;
some author with a pen coined it, suggesting it were genius
but it’s because it makes sense to the mind of the unsound
when too much noise has filled sensitive ear drums
You’re a storm that’s blown over
destroyed my residency, moving on to the next
I’ve always been terrified of bad weather,
but thought obsessive rituals would quell the thunder
I wonder if it’s me--about the reasons you give
and everyone else I’ve met in this laugh of a life I live
I’ve been left to infer and draw and conclude
Perseveration is more likely the cause in our repeated flaws
but really, these are the last words I’ll write for you
and for myself about you
unless you show me I’m all you could ever want
which I know won’t happen so why daunt?

What matters
in this verse full of
    anti-matter
What is substantial
not circumstantial
    of any reality
What holds all of it
all of us in place
     Together
What keeps us spinning
        Going
Perseverance? Or
Perseveration?
What really hurts more
with each revolution
   What gets harder
with each new solution
What is contingent
on our progress
     What are we
striving towards
What is repeated
during this process
What is retained for life
     after death?
What is to blame
for the walking dead
   unable to connect
reincarnation to resurrect
what was lost in time
in between space
What do we see
when our selves
are effaced?

all day on the brink
saline hinging on lashes
reading minds far away
fortune-telling actions
and overgeneralizing
filtering the nonsense
to make room for the
  nonsensical
minimizing positivity
maximizing black and
white negatives
focusing on despair
internal anguish;
vicious cycle of
irrationality
automatically
a day in the life
inside of me

You must have laser
eyes, 'cause your stare is setting
my body ablaze

Been feeling myself
lately, unimpressed by those
who aren't feeling me.

I like tight clothes
for they still hug me
when everyone goes

I dreamt of slow-dancing
and we waltzed until I woke
Hazy scent of desires unspoke
I, mangled with your absence,
breathe a mere thought of
reality's biting grip and rip
the blanket from my bones
Naked and exposed, more
vulnerable and assured
than ever to disclose
those tender tickles
I feel when in repose,
visceral and verbose
I spew black for it's
pronounced and bold
amplifying the dark hold
melted to my frame
Bursting free, finally
with a pounding chest,
primary shades to express,
and fear tentatively at rest
Your hand in mine gives
a soft and slow caress
and I exhale our dance
of coalesce.

Eager to see what
is in store for the new year,
just two days away.

Your beauty is unmatched
your essence unscathed
you could wrap me in your curls
and leave me bound for days
The thick bristles on your face
resemble a forest to discovery,
your mouth a cave to explore
lighting the way with electricity
generating from our rapport
Sweeter than a glob of icing
on the last slice of cake—
Your twisted expressions
make my chest quake
You’re a lot to take in—clean cut nails
and pasty speckled skin; the
trail of hair on your belly and
your form soundly sleeping
where our motions had been
Now you are far a fields away
frolicking in colorless grass,
lost and in denial of what
you could have made last.