our stomachs are filled with words that we are too afraid to tell each other
and i’ve pretended to go mad so i could tell you about the things lingering in my brain because apparently in the midst of chaos, you’re allowed to spare some honesty.

and i really hate to see you this way
depression and anger oozing from every pore while you rub neosporin on your self inflicted scars

you’re such a wreck, and people make sure you know that.

but i wonder why you never tell them that i was behind the steering wheel.

lately i’ve been spending my days sitting in the dark wondering if i was the one who pulled you under the tides, or if i was the lifeguard who brought you back to shore

i promised myself i wouldn’t turn you into another poem
but it seems lately that’s all i’ve been doing

i can’t help it.
you’re my muse.

you reminded me that even in our darkest times, there will always be light. and we shouldn’t fear what lurks behind the shadows

and maybe i should stop searching for you in every man i meet

and maybe you should stop searching for girls who resemble me in some way

whatever we choose to do with our lives

i will always love you the same.

i still have the date of the day we met
and the date of when i told you i loved you imprinted in my mind

i still feel your lips on my body
and i still hear you telling me that
we’ll go through life together

and darling, i’m sorry i made things end too soon. and i’m sorry that i lied when i said i wouldn’t hurt you.

apologies can’t fix our love
but it can fix our closure

and i may be holding onto false hope
but you were clinging onto it

i’m not everything you wanted me to be
and i won’t pray for sanity, so baby, here’s a toast.

some things are better left alone.

loverboy.

“please kiss me until i can’t breathe!”
i beg
“show me the afterlife
show me the forbidden fruits that eve tasted
show me the eagerness and the aching pain that you feel in your chest
hold me for eternity throughout this lifetime
we can forget about heartbeats
because they’re so painful to feel
we’re just taking breaths to stay
we can count stars instead
you can taste the stardust on my tongue if you’d like
we can go to mars and slow dance until our feet are nothing but ash
can we be in love until there’s nothing left?
let’s lose everything there is to have!”
i roared
“please kiss me until there’s only an us.”

i don't need anyone
i like to tell myself i don't because
if i'm being honest with you
(usually i'm not)
i rely on people more than i should.

your golden hair strands are covering your
face as your chain dangles off your neck
it makes me want to give the world to you
and give you this devotion and adoration
i have that's suffocating me.

do you hear my heart thumping rapidly
in my ribcage?
will you still kiss me if my lips tasted like
asphalt and red wine?
my last lover was a dying god and it was fitting
but you're the reincarnation of apollo and you need
more of a ravishing taste.

i never been touched by a god
but i had my body ruined by a dying one
will you touch me and make me whole again?

please talk to me!
i don't like being alone
i hate being alone
i don't like it
i need you.

i know you’re dead inside
but
you make me feel alive.