were neck deep in cigarettes
coughing up
pennies to feed each other's piggy banks
just to get by
kissing left and right
in the hallways
that are tucked away from the prying eyes
but still just as ****** as the last
i want to be more then a pass me by- hello-how-you-doin'-grin
i want to be the alcohol that hangs on your breath
from last night
that
warmth
hanging near that soft spot on your lower lip
that
i want to take shelter on.

Maybe she's not an angel,
but perhaps she's what I need.
And I know that she's not you 'cause,
she's not making my heart bleed.
But she's gorgeous and she's funny and she's one of a kind,
and I just can't seem to get her out of my mind.
I can't say her name, without the hint of a blush,
I know it's not love yet, but it's more than a crush.

My jokes are like old air fresheners - they don't make scents.

I remember jumping into the water without knowing how to swim
I remember pressing my hand against the kettle to check if it was hot, watching it blister red for hours
I remember pinching myself even if I knew I was awake
I remember running until my feet burned and my lungs collapsed

I remember crying so hard until my eyes were swollen shut
I remember not remembering the answer to a math question and everyone called me stupid
I remember gripping my own wrists so tight until it turned into a kaleidoscope of blues and purples
I remember letting myself get tangled in your hair and drown in your eyes

I remember destroying myself

You are the forty 7 sided polygon that I do not presume to understand. You exist in dimensions above my own.
You exist on planes beneath.
I beg

Beg to be a fly
Just to crawl upon you

the Sistene chapel of you

To kiss my antenna
Against your skin
And test the scent  of your solitude

Strange
How the fates have spun
Eleven threads that did not cross
But once

Our fibers touched-
And I lowly spun


When once our threads did touch