i went for a walk in the woods today.

and i can tell you there is a newfound peace among fresh fallen snow,

and i can tell you the crows are smiling even though they await the spring,

and i can tell you the trees create a gothic illusion that all thoughts cling to air,

and i can tell you that although the wind blew the water was still,

and i can tell you that even my very own footprints could not lead me back home.

i went for a walk to clear my head,

and became more intrigued by the mind instead.

The door slammed shut so long ago,
your shadow in the breeze,
I find the pencil and the song you wrote
that brought me to my knees.

Christmas came on lower branches,
the cheap seats, the lonely guitar,
I sang to the person who you used to be
and smoked out who you are.

Even now I am still diseased,
still struggling to find a G-d.

Thought I found him in the autumn leaves,
before I was certain, he was gone.

The window shook on its hind legs
as the widow swallowed her sleep,
the spider came out from his abattoir,
all searching in darkness deep.

In a single bed, teeth grit shut,
twisting sheets in the street-light glow,
I hold my pillow like a brand-new woman,
exchanging heat for the money I owe.

Even now I am still fatigued,
indebted to G-d and home-grown guilt.

I have learned to grow and plant my seed
far from shadows that bring me to wilt.

I still want you, but I know know you aren't worth it.
You aren't worth it, so I'm over you.
So over you, that I dream about you.
I dream about talking to you.
Talking to you, I'd push you.
Push you back against the wall and tell you.
I'd tell you I want you and plant my lips.
I'd plant my lips all over you, making your skin bloom.
Skin bloom and desire sigh.
Desiring sighing, let's go somewhere private.
Somewhere private, I'll at last show you after months.
After months of built up ****** frustration, you'll see.
You'll see what I've been wanting for so long to show you.
I'll show you what you've been missing.

Across blanket seas, I lay my spent body to rest
Buried in comforter caskets, I don’t welcome this sleep,
Creeping slowly through consciousness. The
Darkness fogs, and regret and dread
Eat away at my psyche as I know that
Factitious deities await me on the river Styx.
Greeting spirits before they drift to Heaven or to
Hell, guards grab at passerby and direct them to the other side
Injustice! I scream as I’m guided down below the water, against
Jutting rocks amid the fire and brimstone and I beg for guidance to the
Kingdom of Heaven, renounce my Sins and pray to Him
Leaking lies across time, I plead for mercy for my eternal soul
Making testimony for my wrong-doings but my mistakes replay like a
Nightmare in my mind and sears my eyelids shut
Open your eyes! Come the screams of lost souls but I lay
Prostrate on the ground unable to move and I
Question my life and things that I’ve done. I try and
Reach for some redemption but the Man
Strikes me down with his thunder and
Threatens everything I am afraid of. He can smite me,
Unify all my fears with his words. He releases his
Verdict and all hope I had is wrenched from my grasp.
Watching me with judging eyes, the Man sits on his ivory throne and
X-pells me to Hell and I scream and I cry and I
Yearn so greatly to open my eyes but I am heavy with
Zzz ‘s and so very tired…