they told me to relax
as if i had anything to relax about*

I was nearly failing every class
I was lucky to pass

I thought about things to much
my brain was out of gas

I had no time to relax.

but it was in that moment
that moment of utter rush
confusion
and total wreckage

that I let some wise words
crash to the ground
I overlooked them
and didn't let my friends
snap me back to reality

I took every day as it came
nervous butterflies fluttered about
even suicidal thoughts appeared once in while

I've never had those thoughts

but lately, they've been replaying in my head
scenes to your favorite movie
suddenly it felt like it would be the answer

to what I was stressing

In all of this madness...
what did I learn?

I didn't learn anything
I found it.

I found that as long as you are
you are self motivated

you'll be fine

and in time
your day/week/month/year

will solve itself..

and if you set aside time to relax

not think about the complexities of the world
and stick to the simpler things

you'll make it out alive

I have never quite understood it,
But every now and then,
A smile that is very rare appears on your face.
I doubt you even realize it.

It creeps out when you sing in the car.
When you are proud.
When you hold a volleyball in your fingertips.
When you look at the mountains.

And I wish there was a way for me to capture that.
You don't know the pride I have in you,
My little sister,
When you grin like the world
Does not control your mouth.

I want you to know you can smile.
You have every right.
Let your eyes be the sunshine,
Let your lips paint the canvas
In shades of yellow, pink, and orange.
Stretch your arms out wide so you can
Welcome each soul with kindness,
Because I know that's who you are.

I know this because I am her, too,
The girl with stars in her eyes
And her heart on her sleeve.
And let me tell you,
There is not a better place to wear it,
Because the pain that comes with it
Is so worth the beauty that follows.
Because the people that break your heart
Will always be followed by the ones
That have been picking up the pieces
So they could return them to you.

All of me wishes you knew your inner beauty.
Of course you are gorgeous outside, as well,
But dig deep,
Shovel down in to your soul until you see the gem.
And I cannot believe you do not already,
Because you shine so brightly
That even the moon pales in comparison.

Karena, you are compassionate.
You feel things that people overpass;
You are the definition of a "friend."
Forgive, forgive, forgive...
Because you do not have time to hate.
Holding grudges is not your style;
And although I do not always think it's wise,
I admire you very much for that.
You see the good in others.
Thank you
For seeing the good in me.

Remember, forever and always,
That I love you.
I'm always your biggest fan.
We've been through it all together,
And that will never change.
Don't lose the spark in your eyes,
Or the warmth in your heart.
Keep being spunky and opinionated.
You are a fire, a ball of life,
And isn't it wonderful
That while some merely
Exist,
You are truly
Alive.
And please--
Never
Stop
Smiling.

An apple a day keeps the doctors away
Alone in the dark keeps the monsters at bay
I can't hear what the voices say
Through the music that plays
I'm feeling sane on this lonesome day

Night grows near and I am content
I went a whole day without my mind getting bent
I wonder where all my demons went
As I feel sane on this lonesome day

Will they ever return?
Will my soul ever again burn?
The pain I grew to learn?
That pain I've grown to yearn?
I wonder as I feel sane on this lonesome day

I crave their pain
But nothing's wrong with my brain
Bang my head till I go insane
Just to hear their voices again
I've lost my mind  on this lonesome day
And I wouldn't have it any other way...

I chat with you
my beautiful
friend because
your silent
touches
in the kindness
shown to me
move me
to speak.