I woke on the precipice of doubt and remorse
also I was on a painted blue cement floor.
I had spent all the previous day painting said floor
with broomstick rollers and discounts from Lowes.
Lukus's dad gave me the money for paint and
sent me off to pick it up, now I was recalling.
The wooden garage was a new building in his arsenal
of land he owned to house his various cars and motorcycles.
He commissioned me to sweep and paint the floors yesterday,
saturday, and I worked for 6 hours or more doing so.
When I was finished I took the cash he gave me out of pity,
and went to the bars with Nick and saw a Hadfield from school.
I saw him when I was smoking a cigarette outside with my beer,
even though beer wasn't allowed to leave the building.
I kept asking him for *** and he kept making fun of me
so before I could punch him I shut my eyes and asked Nick instead.
Nick had just been busted at the Diner with intent to distribute,
baggies filled out and ready for delivery in the trunk of his Honda.
He didn't like it when I kept asking for ***, so he turned away and went inside but I was drunk and walked to my car with my beer.
I didn't pay the tab, but my car started just fine.
I drove down to spring city and passed the apartment I had just been
evicted from on my way to the run down garage I had just painted.
I took the memory foam mattress that I had been keeping in my back
seat as a bed out of my car and carried the hulking thing inside.
When I laid it on the painted ground I was out of breath and gasping,
so I fell on top of it and shut my eyes.

One day, you will meet a guy who will see the sunsets in your eyes.
Who will make you cry, but with joy,
Instead of misery, late at night.
Who will fight for you,
Instead of letting you guys fall apart.
Who will assure you that this isn't a repeat,
of your first broken heart.

You don't have to settle for anyone else,
Just to feel loved,
You are showered with it,
Even from above.

There is a whole world out there waiting for you.
A world that awaits for what your talent can do.
Don't let him hold you back.
No guy who is ever worth it will do that.

A guy who can walk away from you,
After letting you believe that they do love you,
Is never worth it.
Let him go, hunny.
Love will come looking for you.
Don't look for it.

*The wait will be worth it.

She's the kind of girl you fall in love with
and have no clue why
before you know it
a day without her seems unbearable
and you'll find yourself saying "I think i love you"
You'll find yourself in auto pilot driving to her house
at 4 a.m
feelings you never thought was possible surfaces
then suddenly
things wont "Aren't working out"
your bones will ache
even months laters when someone says her name

I Hurt
I don't even know where exactly
I Hurt
It's just a dull dry ache of the soul
Depression
It's just a fancy word for saying you're dying inside
... I Hurt