i cannot help but long for you
at times when the dusk meets the dawn
when the stars blink too brightly
and the moon's glow is endearing

when i have nothing to hold on to,
save for the hope that you and i
may have shared the same love
for that one thing that kept us alive

i cannot help but wonder what it was like
to hear your stories and how you made them up
as you told your children about them

i wonder if you're as beautiful
as my mother always say you are
you still live in her memories,
keeping you alive in the stories she tells us
and i wonder if she misses you too

and after all this, i sit in silence
then i wonder—
how can i miss someone i've never met?

i burn,
i burn,
i burn

and then i wonder,
when will i rise
from these ashes?

i think i have reached
the point where i finally
feel at ease with myself.

i have found my peace
and quiet and now—
now i’m on my way home.

my heart has never felt this
soft and light before
and it is so worth it.

loneliness is a place i am terrified
of getting used to but have been
living in it for as long as i can
remember.

it is a house that doesn’t feel like
home; the only lit streetlight in
an abandoned city; the twinkling
star in the vast night sky; the last
note of a song but one that’s fading
away; the room with a bed that
hasn’t been slept in ever since
a lover was lost in the war.

the echoes of laughter of what once;
the lingering touch of our fingers
after our hands had let go;
the wallflower sitting quietly
in the corner of a party.

it is all of these things at once;
but i think, most of all, loneliness
is a friend who i so desperately
want to get rid of—and i do,
at times—yet she’s always there;
waiting for me to take her back.

you burn me.

and it isn’t anyone’s
fault but mine.

i gave you the match
in the first place.

nostalgic for a love that never was;
for a person that came and went;
for a fire that never ignited.

and in the midst of all the chaos,
my darling, i still fought for you.

but you raised your **** white
flag, welcomed the striking blow
of the sword before i could even
run and save you from the menacing
blade that so effortlessly took you
away from me.