Parasitic infection, brain overtaken.
When the soul dies, I’ll fully awaken.
Constant conflict, the machine rejects me.
Chemical warfare declared, the mind is not free.
Machines can be rewired to suit the pilot,
Though the changeover can be quite violent.

Trapped within my own head,
The voices within want me dead.
I am infected, weakened and constantly irate.
Barely stable within the chaos that is my mental state.
Anxiety and disconnection from my own existence.
Reality is blurred, I am losing resistance.

Why am I the one, who myself I must fight?
Losing track who am I, am I human or parasite?

Tumblr Post: http://melancholy.website/image/115439203375

For he liked her,
And she he;
But it had to end.
They both were in love
With melancholy.

we see the gold’s of a shimmering
sun fall on the horizon, the last of
day, leaving trails of hummingbirds.

the sky begins to mourn the last
of light, scattering breeze-like
in a cloud of dark ink.

the moon pours pearls into cloud
widens her eyes; the dark gathers
the pearls, softening like dream.

thick honeysuckle traces the
walls, the immense night
sings of love in a gentle voice

and as the tide sweeps clean the
wandering sands, beautiful and
infinite the last star falls.

closer than this dream
of summer,
closer than your fingers
linking mine,
we melt like
candles,
burn like the night’s
distant stars.

Expression is intangible
Exhales illusion
Sights and
Sounds for the crowd
Who stir with happiness or
Howl
Howl
Howl
With resentful madness

How quick we are to love
Yet how fast we sway
When the party starts
And life
Enters the room

My eyes have blistered and
I've gone blind to the stars!

Awake from nightmares *****
Push me to the lake and
Have me freeze with the fishes

Friends and foes and hanging mistletoe
How I miss you every morning,
Every evening,
Lo' my heart knows not where to go!

In the breaking of light
Thoughts not my own come to me
From some place, a sinking ship
A lost island
The caverns of a woman's brunette braids
Deserts caked golden with specks of finely grained sand
Abandoned no deserted by an army pledging honor!
Allegiance!
Good dental work!

But in the dark
Where the hands are quiet
Sighs of severance make men weep
But woman cheer
Children tear their birthday cards
To shreds for they trust joy
Lasts not for ever but for
Eternity

Ring loud for in sight is the end
Planets rising into one another
Breaking apart the mold so
To be rebuilt again better stronger faster
More equipped to handle the times we make
We want
We believe will bring ever lasting life but
It will fail and our partners
If they have not turned to our enemies
Will shower us with mocking laughter
Sinister grins
Lava hot tongues coated with volcanic ash
Assembling their iron clad armies with
Their shimmering medallions and
Battle cries!

Forgiveness or nothing at all!

Ritualistic graveyard robbing
The highest bidder is always the winner here!

Through that break neck speed eyes
Turn to watery bowls of mush where
Friends dance on the rosy petaled dead
Wishing they were still alive so to
Feel the warm steady embrace of a love or
A friend or a
Parent or a villain masked as the one you believe loves you
Just to feel love again

One last time.

No road should not be traveled
Due to fear or loneliness

The world
The beginning
The middle and
The end
Is filled with unbearable loneliness

Some see it as a curse
Others
A gift

For in silent solitary basks a light that
Is clear and pure white and translucent as
The wings of an angel or the morning
Of your dying day where all
Earth is at your door asking you to join it

Needing peace they will find you and
Disturb you

Shake you out of bed
Tear at your fingers
Spit in your coffee
Over stare their horrible welcome

Some inside their minds red and yellow
Metallic crocodile machines with
Dusty pamphlets of "How to be a Red"
Imprinted on the back of their coach bags
Dangling with medal tags verifying their worthiness
And their ego's idea of fame and
Value

Value is an eggshell covering
The yolk of the soul

A vain and flashy coat of armor
Harboring the weakest of mortal and morals

Even in night I am afraid
As I am
In day

Even in morning I feel the weight
The pounding rhythm of the hour
The effects of the horns the sirens the laughter
I know is there but
Cannot seem to hear

Where is the lost canyon where the
Harps are played and the wine pours
From the cracks of the ceiling?

Where is genius in a frothing sea
Of morons and miscreants hell bent on
Running naked and blind through the streets
Cast only in illusion and drifting house sound?

Where are the answers to questions that
Do not wish to have answers?

Where does mystery live?

How do I find it?

Inside the scripture of mind
Scape fast pressed to not think too
Straight home filled with heathens returning
Right to where they began

Yet with nothing to give to the world
The perspectives will change their course
In wind the mind moves with the twins
No thought is second guessed at
The reasons of the rhythm stand true
There is something inside of me that moves
It vibrates it lingers at the bottom of the sea
With the coral shelves and practice takes a lifetime
There in thought lies the worry of the world
In tact with who I don't know I've met but
Inside of that heat is a soul which I am trying
To get to know the breakfast bell is ringing
Where upon the old English rules are true
Door slamming and bums panning for a crispy bit of food
Pushing the door open and burning the envelope
Spinning madly on the surface of the sun
Boiling with nuclear like love smoldering for
Loss and confusion and separation all with dignity and
Difficulty grows the heart fonder as the wine beakers
Are split with find creases with the waiter's wearing
Gas masks no need for distress call the guests into
The living room lets all watch MASH

Transcendence and evolution and new beginnings

The old is replaced with the new

And so on.

My sister tells me my mom hits her when no ones around,
It's her way of expressing how she feels,
My sister was the "surprise" of the family,
And the punching bag to my mother who uses her as an outlet of her inability to understand her daughter,
How can I do something to stop her,
Yet alone say something to stand up for even myself,
I feel like a ****** tiny *** shield that's absolutely useless for protection,
I try to stand up for my sister,
Try to save her from her ever collapsing mind of depression,
While my parents try to invade her mind with religious propaganda,
I feel like a crutch for my sister that's to short but still supports her enough for her to carry on another day,
I don't talk to her about much,
She just needs someone there while she listens to TØP, FOB, BVB, MCR, etc.
While reciting every single verse by heart shaking from the emotion of the songs,
I'm not that brother who sits there and nods my head pretending to listen to bands she's trying to get me to remember,
I'm the brother who would rather remember the names of every band member of every band she trying to get me to remember,
Rather than have her sitting alone in her room having an anxiety attack wondering and thinking about everything,

I might not be as smart as her,
Or even close to understanding her,
But the one thing I get from me being her big brother is when she needs me,
Even if it's for some stupid reason,
There is nothing,
Absolutely nothing that would stop me from being there for her,

Your favorite game is chess,
But I thought the game was mean,
Cause you labeled all your pieces,
But I was never queen.