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Paul C Sep 2019
What am I supposed to do
How should I feel
What should I do
Why do I feel this way
Sometimes it feels like I need someone to give me answers
Sometimes I don’t feel like going at it alone
What the hell am I supposed to do
Answer me.
It doesn’t have to be now
(But sooner is better than later)

I don’t feel like reading a book
I don’t feel like working
I feel
Vulnerable
Insecure
Low
So help me.

I cling on to the memory of you.
In the hotel room,
Inside of me
Your smile
While we get ourselves *****
Unholy, yet whole

I didn’t get attached before
So why am I feeling things now?
I want you.
But you don’t want me

I keep up this pretense
To distract myself,
Cleanse myself of you
Yet here we are,
It’s only day 2
Post feeling like
I need to forget you.
Paul C Jan 2018
You—
Beautiful life-form, or abomination—
Are a culmination,
Agglomeration of a life’s worth of
Experiences thus far.
All of them,
The good and the bad,
Have resulted in you—
And here you stand,
A unique entity of the atomic form,
A breathing, living creature
At the height of the current moment.
You have
The power—
Whether it be to trust fate,
Or to follow your intuitions—
To ultimately
Forge a path of your own.
Paul C Jan 2018
A hitch in the breath,
Static flickers into the dim-
My eyes turning blind,
I search for an answer within.

Waning poetic
Under the waxing moon’s light of shining,
I dig into my skull
To pull out a sentiment once again.

Surely, a sign of stopping-
Heartbeat elevates, blood rising;
Mind in hyper-mode,
Ready to explode.

I’m neither drunk nor sober,
A state in between,
Whirling and racing
My thoughts
never
over.
Paul C Dec 2017
focus—
artificial, just like the pill bottle.

the world condenses, collapses into a pin-point right in front of my eyes
and into my paper or computer screen

thoughts racing at light speed
my mind trying to digest its own thoughts--
confusion,
state of hyper-realism (Who am I again?)
an alternate dimension of higher thought
whirling,
running,
spinning,
racing,
crash into an hour (or two) from now
and fall down
hard, into the present.

— The End —