You'd love to learn my secret
And I would tell you what it is
But to make and admission I would regret
Would require me to emit it exists

It's not that I don't want to tell you
I'm desperate to drop the facade
But it has less gravity than the potential ridicule
So please continue to think me odd

I'm worried about the rationalizations
That I'll be told I'm confused and it's just a phase
And since I've not confirmed these realizations
Hidden I have stayed

Truth or Dare is a ***** to play
When you can't tell friends from foes
It's even worse, having to guard what you say
Concealing the agro

I'm really sad.
I don't know why.
Let's go **** happy people!

(no offense happy people... sorry...)

I am so sorry
I should have seen it
I should have called more
But I let you slip away
I was too wrapped up in my own problems
And you two seemed so happy
I just kind of stopped calling
Usually I called when I was sad
Hearing you
Made me feel better
But the emptiness came right back when the line went dead
I should have pressed harder
Secrets can be necessary
But they can also tear you apart
Like knives hitting the target of our friendship
Please stop throwing your knives
And I will stop mine
And we can patch up the holes
We left behind

I can imagine these moments so well
They make me happy
But they also make me really sad
I can imagine them
I am just afraid
I will never
Ever
Live these moments

Life flew by in the blink of an eye
That is, my life with you
4 months or 4 seconds
I can no longer tell the difference

Tick tock

1 Mississippi
I'm entranced by your eyes
Writing poems of melted chocolate
Does my name fit with yours
How perfect our life will be

Tick tock

2 Mississippi
I've never felt the way I feel
When you look at me that way
Like I'm a fish, on a rod that you reel
I could never leave your side
And you could never leave mine
But I'm afraid
Scared to death
Of what the future will bring
You say to trust you but I just don't know how, but I'm ready to open to you

Tick tock

3 Mississippi
You get better everyday
It's all down hill from the first kiss they say
But to me that was a bold faced lie
You're arms wrap around me
Filling a gap I never knew was there
No longer do I fear
You are me
And I am you

Tick tock

4 Mississippi
We are getting so close
Ready to be soul mates
But as the milliseconds tick by
It's starts to open my eye
When you say this
I say that
Maybe we aren't that right
Suddenly
You hugging me
Doesn't feel the way that
It should be
And as the clock strikes four seconds
Our life is over
Because I cut it, ended it
And wether it be our life or yours
It seems all the same
Since I feel like I'm standing now
Over the body of the boy I killed

Tick tock
Goes the broken clock

5 Mississippi
The rest of the world
Counts on
As I lay
Broken
Haunted by your endless echo
Why?
Yet deep down
I know one things true
We were never a five second thing

You guys are smiling and making jokes
You tell me I should really be working
I tell you I'm too tired to work right now
I'm not tired
Well, I am, but that's not why I'm not working
I just can't breathe
I know I'm not alone, but I feel completely alone and I don't know Why I'm feeling so hollow
Make it stop. Please.
You don't notice though.
Maybe it's better that you don't.
I'll keep listening to sad music and wonder why I'm feeling so empty when nothing is even wrong
And you keep not knowing how horrible I feel
Because you have problems a lot worse than mine, for sure
I don't want to tell you, because you don't deserve to have to listen to my sadness on top of your own
And I feel selfish if I tell you
I just don't know who to talk to
And even though I'm surrounded by people
I. Feel. So. Lonely. I. Feel. Like. I. Have. Died.