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You left me like chocolate raindrops hitting a river of mud flowing through a Saint Valentine's Day *******.

You left me like the last surviving, half naked girl running through the forest, during a 1980's
Friday the 13th movie marathon.

You left me like the last piece of pizza, that no one eats, that remains in the open box, that sits on the coffee table all night, after a college kegger fest.

You left me like when your wife leaves her wedding ring on her nightstand, while she goes out to her best friend's Bachelorette party at a strip joint.

You left me like the only kid in your class that never got picked for a game of kickball during noon recess in elementary school.

You left me like the backwash in the bottom of soda can as you offer me a drink, knowing there were no more sodas left in the fridge.

You left me like you do all the crumbs you leave in a nearly empty, wrinkled bag of chips after you were playing World of Warcraft for 16 hours.

You left me like the last match in book of matches as we try to start a fire during a family camping trip, then it starts to rain.

You left me like you did your last boyfriend with a long text that was meant for me, but you actually sent it to my mom.

You left me like the last petal on a thorny rose bush that clinges onto it's last thread to the branch that holds it, during a severe thunderstorm.

You left me like ... one second.

(Scratching my head)

Pause, never mind.

Thank God, You are Gone!!
Just a fun little quip
I hope you accidently **** in front of your date
I hope when you're on a diet you're still gaining weight
I hope your red shirt dyes your white clothes pink
I hope when you're at the bar you always get the wrong drink
I hope you forget the words whenever you hold a speech
I hope there's no spots left when you go to the beach
I hope you run out of matches when you need a smoke
I hope nobody laughs at your funniest jokes
I hope that when you shave you'll quickly get all furry
I hope you miss the train everytime you're in a hurry
I hope your fruits and vegetables gets bad really quick
I hope your one night stand hasn't showered when you choke on his ****
F*** you, old friend.
The most beautiful woman I know,
Inside and out.
Heart so soft,and mind so strong.
Just as God intended,
Her love leaves me in awe,
Forgiving and loving truly,
There's no better woman I know.
Father is blessed to have her,
He's a great man too.
No wonder he was blessed with her,
Indeed you attract who you are.
Another day, another dollar
Or so the saying goes
You work so hard just to be hollered
At for bringing to work with you, your woes

You aren't a person once you've clocked in
You're not supposed to care
About the goings on in your own world
So **** it up, 'cause life's not fair

Always put your best foot forward
Nothing less than your best will suffice
Don't you think that a golden watch
On your superiors' wrist would look nice?

You're working for "the big man" now
Don't you understand?
Everything you do from here on out
Will add more cards to his hand

Try to come in when you're sick
Don't call off too much
How else will the higher ups
Pay for their daily corporate lunch?

Be happy with your current wage
You make enough to get by
If you ask for more, you could be fired
Without being given reason why

One day once you've given your all
You may be able to retire
They'll give you half of your former pay
As by law they are required

Month by month you'll receive your checks
Though they might not be enough to live
Your whole life they get to take take take
While you'll only ever give

At least now you can relax a bit
Maybe you can finally see
The whole world on a map before you
What it means to be broke, but "free"
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