When I was young I wanted a man
a knight in shinning armor
you know those guys
who never cry
that save you from the dragon

Then I realized
that in the castle with a knight
that they can hurt you too
they can trap you on a bed
whatever the plea
you can end up on your knees
so sometimes the dragons best

So in the present times
all i can do is bow
and hope one day for the best
I mean I like girls
but I don't need a pearl
I want a girl who can fit with my turtleshell

Sure she could be trouble
but we'll make it double
and she'll teach me her ways
i'll teach mine
I won't judge her flaws
because of the cause
it was a part of her life

I want
no I need
a girl who is
weak and strong
who can see through my mask
while I see through hers
and hold her tight

That girl who knows my secrets
and I hers because our souls intertwined
where the darkness could consume
Yet not destroy
for we had already had our drinks of their wine

I need a girl with a past like mine
and a future we could intertwine
we don't have to get married
or have kids
who has the time?
But to look into just tomorrow
for an ebony sky

Why do I even try.
Every time it ends worse than the last. Every time I feel more dejected and broken than before.
Every time the cracks get deeper.

I try so hard you know.
Whenever you feel down I'm there for you like a shadow.
I hold my arms out to you like a hospital, waiting to take you in.
Yet you break me down.
You shun me so harshly like ****** to the Jews.
You treat me like a child's toy, and only play with me when you want to.
Is this what I am to you.
Is my love so insignificant that I am only a fly.
A pest so easily pummeled and smashed to the floor.

Is this love?
A emotion so strongly bonded with hate.
Placed so highly that when your beaten body falls,
you don't even feel yourself hit the ground.

Everyday you ask why I love you
You say
"Why do you you love me when I put you through Hell.
When I push you into your shell,
And I never give you a straight answer.
You say " Why do you love me when I can't love you back,
And when I have all these mood swings."
Well this is what I say.
I love you because you are like my Asthma.
I didn't chose to have you here with me all the time, but you are.
You are here to make my life harder,
But you also make me stronger.
When the voggy winds blow
And it gets hard to breathe
It is you falling.
Yet I pick that Inhaler of mine up
And I take two deep breaths,
and I lift you back up.
As my breaths become clearer.
I know that I will never be able to breathe as well as others.
Just as I know I will never fall out of love for you.
You are the chronic lung disease that forces me to try harder.
The person that makes me try my hardest when I'm singing up on that stage.
You motivate me.
It is you that is always on my mind
When I have to try hard to take breathes instead of just breathing.
When I am running and my lungs start to choke me, it is the pain I feel every time I see you with him instead of me.
Because Love
You are my lung disease.
You are the funny noise my breath makes when I dance,
Because the Oxygen doesn't want to go in.
And when you touch me I feel the buzzing sensation that I get when taking my albuterol.
The warmth of my Nebulizer as it vaporizes the medicine for me to breathe.
Every kiss you plant on my head, fills me with the dizziness that I get from my medication
When I try to stand up, I end up falling just as hard as I have for you.
You are the relief I feel when I take my
Meds on a bad day, you make me feel normal again.
That's why I love you.
That is why I don't care if you're with him instead of me.
Because you will always be with me.
Just like my lung disease.

She saw the world through a camera lens
And that's just how it was
With filters and Glares from strangers
Who didn't feel the sun
She took photos of the rain
And dewdrops on the grass
Of smiling warm faces
And things that were just crass
She dreamt of her pictures
Under bylines and over books
Her documents of others
Filled with stills that could speak words
She took pictures of her girl
Who was black and blue in depth
Who wanted to be colored
But her filter shown red
She captured her in pain
And in her rare bright smiles
She told her that things
"Just take a while"
She made portfolios and scrapbooks
Of their adventures and their muse
She never knew that her girl would take her life
At a quarter after two
She cried and cried weeks to days
Until the tears just stopped
When she took a photo of the rain
And felt her sadness drop
It shattered all around the floor
And she fumbled with the keys
She printed all the pictures
And posted them with ease
She scattered them around the town
Then fell down to rest
For she could feel a burden being
Lifted off her chest
she went to the school
Of the boy who had hurt her
And her girl
She stood up
She told them
"Has she finally done enough?
She ripped her skin with blades
And fasted for days.
She lit skin on fire
Just because you are liars.
Look at this picture
Do you see her
Look mister
She was beautiful
Yet you made her feel
Like she was void of zeal
You're the ones who told her what to do
And she took her own life
Just like you told her to do.
Are you happy now!
Or are you feeling blue
Are you regretting what you told her to do!"
And with a single crack
Of a baseball bat
she took a picture
Of there bodies cracked shells
As she plumbed them to hell
She saw that red filter
And she felt the pain inside
She could feel herself laugh
Mania arise
The she took one final shot
A picture with the the two
Then killed herself to rise anew
And she got her picture under bylines
And became famous for her art
For everyone loves the artist
Who kills for their art.

Resonate sounds
Confounding to my ears
Is it Phillip Glass?

Einstein and Phillip
Hand in hand on the beach
It's an OTP

Catch me,
Please. Someone.
Before it is to late
I can feel myself
Falling to the floor.
Seams are starting to rip.
The blood is hitting the floor.
Can't anyone help me.
Will I even listen to help.
The beautiful glistening is
A hypnotic spells melt.

Help me please!
Or maybe just sit.
It was always like this,
Friendship is a hit and miss.
You stare at them all
Pleading for help.
They never stare back
Never notice the welts.

They can't see you falling.
The cracks just don't show.
I guess a happy smile,
Is all that's needed to throw.
They don't look close enough
And even when they do,
They never say anything.
They just smile to.

So maybe I don't need help.
I can fall and be free.
Sterling light calls, beckons me
So maybe it's heavens plea.
From the Angles and Demons
Who live inside me.

Let them take me
Eat all my will.
They may feast,
I never will.
My body grows weaker
Yet I will not cry
I have given up.

I have Fallen...

Goodbye.