into the darkness,
i came out a light.
from darkness we are born
and to the light we go to die.
have i already died
a hundred times?
darkness is only an
absence of light.
am i only alive when
i’m the most me?
when the light in our eyes goes out
are we then dead temporarily?

forever and a day,
i get carried away.
i’ve become the
skeleton crew
working overtime
on my life.
my fears have
come to comfort me.
i hug them all, I say,
“It’s okay,
you were just
trying to protect
me.”
and they say,
“We’re sorry that
it was from all
you ever wanted.
We didn’t know
the difference
between
love and pain.”

My consciousness has been elusive—
Most thoughts are intrusive.
Subconscious stays refusive.
I breathe in and eat up nature,
hoping it’ll be my savior—
Turn all my bad memories into
Distorted visualizations and vapors.

i’d really love to thank her
for being so, so strong.
for not taking our life
when everything was wrong.
i don’t know how she did it,
the flashbacks paralyze me still.
must have been nothing
less than strength of will.
even sometimes now
i’d really like to back out
but i hear that small girl screaming,
“we can’t just give up now!”

Could it be
We
Are the Artificial Intelligence

i already miss flying
high above myself,
unaware of every ****
i should be giving.

i plant flowers in my
wounds instead,
fully aware—I feel them
grow from me
& bloom.

painful, beautiful.

and so powerful.

I used to find power in
deflecting
neglecting
rejecting &
subjecting myself.

healing is hurting.
healing is hurting.

hurt people hurt people.
but healed people heal people.
and maybe sometimes they’re the same person.