I know the door you're
Speaking of,

And you're right.
It is
Shut -

Firmly
Tight.


Love seeps through,
Overtaking my view,
Breathing promises
of
No looks back.

While

Red emotion
Slips through,
Obscuring my view,
With such ease,
Spilling
Right through the
Cracks.


I feel gusts of
You,
Whisping bits of me to

The spaces you wish
We'd go -

Though it's the
Heavier parts
That can't quite start

Flying -

Afraid
Of the
Multiplous

Ways to go.

--

It's Me

That gets
Left behind.

Who knew,

The girl who had
No voice
Would
One day
Teach the world to
Sing
?

To banish their
Bashful
And beam forth
In beauty,

To learn to
Simply
Just Sing
?

A time ago
Her soft
"Hello" was
Lost
Within
Translation
.

But now?
Oh, now!

With no care
To how,

That caterpillar

Has
Found
Her wings
.

Elusive lulls of lucidity linger,
slightly, in my
retrospection-

behind thick, thick sprawls
of stones for walls, built to
defend what I felt, then
most relevant.

Once at escape,

I meet, at random,
apace
tangents
that spin
me gently into

Light,

wherein I sigh
at ease, slow-
ly breathing
in the peace flowing
abundant,

amid
Tranquility.

Lucidity's quite funny, in that
when precious to one,
proves slippery, and when gotten,
too foreign,

to keep lucid, in a state
that, without light, is
forsaken,
to the ever-
turn of

Chasing the Light.

What better place
To keep a
Secret
from
Those
Within
The Light?


I've been through
the shadows
in the
Valley of Darkness

So
I know,

You've been there also.

We live in a world
Wherein
Several of which
Reside,

-this realm
to shelter
the Treasures of
Those
Still,
Hoping,
in their
Transition.

And
While I was there
To uproot the
Despair
I'd stored,
For my
Too stern
Pride's

Veil in Recovery,

I saw yours there
Also,
Your Mane,

-shaved,
Leo,

Attached
to a
Sliver-cracked
Ego,

Hidden
Amongst both
The
Gems of a gypsy
Glowing
in the dark,

Winking
Smiles
At my
Treks,

In
&
Out,

The
Crumbling treasures
Of
the tragic,
Troubled
Someones,
Nearly
Forgotten

in their
Trying Tribulations.

Shadows
a desperate
Shelter
from
the
Thoughtless
Impunities
Sometimes
Rampant

In
The Light.  

The Darkness is
Dark
In that,
It enabled,
Evades
what
Light does
Simply
by
Nature.

And
I saw,

You saw this
Too.

--

Once upon a time,

Without the
Spots of
Darkness,
That we
All
Have
Stolen away
To,

To let out
Free
Your soul,
To just

Be,

On our way
To seeing

What's
Needed.

Without the
Soft Cloak
of the
Shadows,

My blood,

We,
The Imperfect
Become
We,
The Vulnerable.

--

I saw a soldier's
Heart's longing,
Becoming
Worn
by a
Chafing
Of a
Strong, strong
Courage

A young girl's
Freedom
Too tightly
Gripping
Like thorns
Sweet Yearnings
for

A Love,
Truly
Everlasting.
--
Not all wielders
Of Light
Are servants of Light.
Some use Light
For
Their own
Devices.

So
by Cause,

Weak or strong,
Pain fresh
Or long,

We all
Have been acquainted
With

The Darkness.

Sweet, baby's
Breath,

Untainted,
And so pure.

A satin soft
Scent, that sounds
Sweetly
Reminiscent of
How then
Thoughts
Tumbled

Freely

Into the others.

Passively rummaging
Through my old
Collection of Sighs
For all the
Mutely, flickering
Instances in which
I
Catered
Poorly
to the
In between.

As much as I would
Like,
There's no
Teleporting
Through
Life,

There's no
Jumping
From this level
To that.

Instead,
I curl coyly
About,
In the
Slowly sweetening
Nuances
Of
Time

And sleep
Soundly
in

What's to
Come.

I see you
when
You don't,

when you try so hard
to
see you

-through my eyes,

but you see me
when
I don't
see me

see
we

found each other,
baby

we don't
need
to be
atomically
synced

to know

that
once upon
some time ago
the Cosmos
sang our song
We
and sang it
until

we found each other
and
we'll keep
finding each other

you'll see.

Worn rows of gowns
Turn old,
Cluttered in the
Closet.

You can tell those
Who have become acquainted
With Life,
For their speech is
Littered with
Memories.

Reckless
Action can
Create crisis-

beaware.

Please-

Don't fall victim
To Ego's
Allure.

Hold fast
The light
You've been
Harboring
Within.

Beware
Division

From the
Ides of March.

Tread lightly,
My dears.

Walk soft,
With good thought-
Prepare
Your mind
And sit guard
Your soul.

Chaos' Shadow
Is passing by-

Much is brewing
Has been for
So long.

It was
Four years ago,
We knelt
Pregnant with terror
Of what life was
Hurling our way,

And here we are
Nearing the end

Wounded

Yet,
Standing
Strong-
As we must.

The final
Square off
Is
Today.

Speak softly,
My dears,

And again,

Tread lightly.

Deceit is slinking
About.

But trust your heart
And what you've learned
For tomorrow,

It finally ends,

Either one way
Or, some other

Tomorrow,

It finally begins.

It doesn't take a
shrink
to tell me that
yelling
*******
isn't exactly
the best way
to let you know

i need you.

and my aunt Tay -
she coulda
kept her say
'cuz i already
know
that my fists kept
close(d)
is what's
keeping me
from
you

giving me

what
i need

annnd

beating them
against your
chest
probably
doesn't tell you
too simply
to hold
me

even
tighter -

listen,

i have
way too many
*****
to give
to be
giving them all
to you

poor you.

i know.

and it all
drives me so nutty
that you
my baby got
stuck
in this heart
of putty
ive got
you
sputty-

babblin' about
how you
want to keep on
doing this

forever.
and ever?


I love you.

The elephant took me
beneath his ear,
nestling me in his
wisdom,

and

moonlight spilled into
the space I’d created,

highlighting my
soft, light breaths.

I caressed the
round
of the full moon,
with the sighing
of my eyes,

and his light flowed
out
before him -

a familiar hello -

spilling
slowly,

into
the ends
of the tusks
of my elephant.

I marveled

at
how his
ivory tusks seemed
near bright as
Sir Moon,
himself.

And the ground
trembled
beneath
my bared feet.

I felt my elephant
quaking.

I felt my cover
move back from me

as he lifted his head
and
spread
his grand ears
across the sky
I could feel him
let go
a deep trumpet
that proclaimed
his heart
before
melting into
the night

Questioning whether
the elephant could
sense the moon
in me,

I breathed again,

smiled to myself
and walked
lightly the
pathway
home.

I saw the familiar
rose-flush dust
shoot from my
fingertips,

the day
I finally
decided
to snap out of it.

I had forgotten what lived inside me.

I snapped again
at the
worrywart hut
I'd created
for myself
to live in.

And again, once more
for all time
gone
to my mind's

incessant banter
and going-on's
with
the
flirty,
too flirty,
doubting Adonnis.

The fog was heavy,

in its resilience against my
needs
to get it right,

overtaking me in confusion,
making me forget

the reality
that lay beyond it.

Its grip was choking,

sending me reeling
through a
soul-tainting realm

I hated
I knew so well,

grasping

for anything
to hold on to,

anything that
looked
like

Life.

So,

with the moon
tonight,
I weep

for the many suns
sacrificed
to
Unbelief

and
the parts of me
permitted to be
plagued
by

poison
and
malpurpose.

Though,
with the same tears,
I will thank my God
that I can at least
see
what lies
within me

and again, once more
while the moon is still bright

for the gift to feel
remorse.

i can hear your hesitant silence
louder than an
atom bomb

and the sliverous little
glances
that weave between the
minds

i counted them
once before

when the wind
blew out your
lashes,

when your
fumbly words
and jumpy fingers
gave away
all
your secrets.

show me the string
that unravels the thing
ive been
hunting all day
in search for -

the mirror in the rain
that collects all the pain
for gain
that
ive been waiting
my life
for.

'bunch of student
pollutants,
faces sooted
in black,
fingers
grimey and sticky,
snatching the little
i got.

all ive ever wanted
has been a
simple enough dream:

to be happy

and sappy
with my lover,
my cream,
to play my part
and finish out
what i
started,

to exist on this earth -
serene

but there's this itch
i can't get
to succumb to a
verdict.

this is it.

are you coming
or going?

i'm living in the gist
of a
cold shiver,

wondering,
"what, why, and for how long?"

is it really for forever,
as the burning
insisted
before?

or is the tyrannous void,
in some muscle somewhere,
the truth
i should
remember?

count your blessings,
you foolish girl.

diamonds aren't always
found
on this ruff side of
town.

--

solar eclipse,
lunar harvest,
my soul is ripened
for the
taking.

cynical cindy,
so wary of love,
trying to salvage her independence,

clutching so tightly to her
sense-of-self,
afraid of slipping
away.

"though -
how happy can a girl be, really,
heralding a man?"

silly cindy,
always needing to know.

just give it a chance,
why don't'cha?

you're an anagram in my heart
and i don't care

as long as
you love me
tomorrow,

you ******.

i still got a glass full of wine
and a bundle of hope
towards
Marley's flames
being
just
hot enough

to
light
your ***
on fire.

and if that don't bring you
back to life

looks like
Merlot & I
are enjoying
a night
on the town.

who's rockin' the **** boat
this time around?

don't care.

i'm lost in the waves
of you rockin' my ocean -

causing that
commotion
of devotion
that i love so much -

the way you
harvest the flow
and demand
its cresting
is the rest
of why
i'll even be back
in the morning.

we got that
ebb & flow
action
reaction -
fantastic

then ****.
the split -
again?

shh...baby, be quiet

you know you love me
more than
any *******
either of us could
ever
dream to concoct.

so just tear it up
like i know you want to -

all that *******,
i mean.


unless.

you mean.

otherwise...?


i'm your fancy baby
waiting at the center of the night

to
bang around
town

or in bed
instead

wherever your head's
at daddy,

i'm there.

the timing's always right
this time -

i promise.

so let's endeavor
to do this
together
forever

or
whenever
comes after
that.

I can't even count
how many times
the sun has done
its shining thing
without me,

pouring down
its sunny rain
on my big ol'
black parade.

there's this weird dynamic
that tends to occur
when my lesser-than-vibrant
fanfare's in town,

with all its subtly pompous
pomply pomp  
blaming it all on
circumstance.

"Let's all gather 'round
this *****'s back
and lick the jelly
right off!"

(please!)

don't ask what my
'a little too loose'
head off my neck
is doing

peeking
wishfully

out from the darkness

rollin' around the p's in my mind

pathetically
snatching at my
poor, poor
soul -

a pity party
thrown for
one.

it's quite funny
really
how often
i forget
how silly black
looks

when it's sunny.

i've been craving
the sensation
of
satiation
in being

who i am
makes lesser sense
with each

overturned

rock
that leads to
an
epidemic

of revelations
and patience
in my wait for
illumination

on topics
i didn't even know
were relevant.

each endeavor
i meet
quietly
quaking
with
significance -

waiting
for it all
to be
realized,

each person
a character
vital
to an end
brooding
in
gestation.

i am a queen.
a seductress.
a coyote in the darkness.

a healer.
a guide.

a friend.

i am a person
unaffected
by the world
of
labels,

living within
this all
but
without.

--

it's a charming game,
a sweet, sweet dream,
this life thing,
gifted to us.

takin' it
one step
at a time
with each
step
more alive,

and
to think,

yesterday
i spent sleeping

through it
all.

Shards and candlewax,
ache in my belly,

I am
lost in the looks
of the
transient.

You're a crazy person,

with your backwards
feet
that keep
finding their lost way
to

me -

an iron-wrought
Stubbornist
with morals
galore,
full of

delightfully
annoying
complexes.

You're genuinely
insane
the way you
brush off your pain
and slide your
arms
around me
anyway,

or

how you
ridiculously
forget
the soft spot
i hit
by the time
the silence
takes over.

One look in
your eyes,

the sound of
your sighs,

the signs,
my love,
are there.

You're a crazy person,
indeed,
to say that you
need

a person
like me

to love.

It might have been
the
old lasagna
that reminded me
I was happy -

at last.

What has made
this lioness of
the high stars
above-
queen of the
great safari -
cower on
rough,
quaking knees,
before her
mighty throne?

I blame his
brown,
dripping
eyes
that could
so easily
****** away
her roar,

And the
silken sweet way
he plays his
magic flute
as if to
charm
the great
Black Mamba.

He jests
with a heart
so full and
merry,

So light
upon his feet,

I'm to my own,
before I know it,

My heart beating
to his beat.

He's found a power
more mighty
than pride,
more great
than power
itself,

I am on my feet
and to my knees,

Bless Me.


And, You -

For allowing me
favour.

again,

i will bury
your
honeyed
words
down, deep
in between
my *******,

humming loudly
above reason,
muffled by
passion-

by love,
my love-

don't waste me.

my pearly eyes
and heaving chest
are
truths i keep
meaning
to share

but
you harvest
so often
the honey
seeds
you sow

give them time
my love

don't waste me.

i'm your
darling dear
with fluttering
fingers
grabbing at
your hand

to
stay afloat
in this
teeny boat
made

perfectly,

a la
Us.

there's something about
letting a person speak
when there's really
nothing
to say
at all,

the pressure placed
becoming so overwhelming
that their heart
and gut
start spewing from
the poor thing's
opened
pores.

imagine the feeling
you experience
thinking of one's
innards doing a thing
like
that thing -

it's a rather
awkward scene
to take in.

--

I haven't a direction
that i'm looking to go in
specifically,
but i believe if i
take two lefts
and remind you

...

and another left
to bring us
back to

that girl who keeps
speaking
and
with every line
is
speaking
for all to
hear.

Now,
you know my secrets.

i am singing soft pinks,
after my too bold reds;

i mean,
maybe, my great, round bursts of
clumsy heart
didn't bruise as sweetly
as i'd hoped.

i haven't a thing against
climbing to middleground;

my lips are left
less chapped.

--

I am a
yet, wild queen -
learned-head bowed
low.

heart lifted

-in anticipatory gusts
of questions,
peppered with thanks,
for the inner knowing,
melding into my all-

to the heavens, above,
lifting up fervent
pleas and blessings:

thanks, for the continuing cycle
that continued
long enough
for me to believe
and is continuing,
even still -

this was something
different.

not singing after?
but, softening to?

this feels much,
much more like home.

let's talk about love
and how it ***** your **** up
while you sip on its elixir
like it's doing
the most
wonderful thing in
the world
for you -

how it thrusts you
into the darkest places
you've ever known
to feel **** you
really feel

but
not
really
at all -

let's talk about how
beautiful it makes the world
when it does you
right
and how dark it can get
so fast -

or

how it can put
your entire
life
on fast
forward
or
set it on
a blissful
pause
or
bring it
to a
screeching--

STOP.

i've gotten my hands
plenty *****
in this game -
thinkin' i wouldn't
need gloves
to play

but
****'s dirtier than money
though
sweeter than honey...

so i sip
once more -

in lieu of
the learned
and because
of
the learned -

i'm downin' that elixir
until i'm ****** over
silly
because what
has been
learned
has been
learned
hard
& good:

drunken love
is the
only way
to love.

drip me dry
from all these
carnal cases
of
spiritual
expansion
or
personal growth
or
whatever
whatever
you wanna
call it
this time
you simply
can't hide

the truth.

i'm exasperated-

tell me
what your
truth
sounds like
'cause
i keep on
confusin' it
with
what i call
truth

and, **** ain't
linin' up
right.

deliver us from
evil
in manner
and in
thought -

deliver
me
from
*****
deliveries.

screamin' red
snowball hat
clashin' so
loudly
with my
fall of
that year's
new
hand-me-over
jeans.

my bike was fast.

silver metal
peekin' out
from beneath
the
shimmering white
& pink
chipping
paint job
my uncle
had given me
when
baby & i'd
turned 7.

it was sleek
i was meek -

good riddance.

i woke up
just some
time ago
when i realized
i just wasn't
doin it right -

i wasn't doin it
at all -

classify sleep.

the time spent
prettyin' up
your lofty wants
in the nestles
of the night

or

the time spent
every day
doin a
whole
lotta
nothin
and probably
thinkin you
weren't

?

sleep.

tha's when
you blind
thinkin you
really
know what
red is

it's when you
stone cold
deaf
and live on
thinkin'

you can
still hear
just as
clear

His Voice.

She sat
A broken China doll
Spurting
Where she meant to
Sing.

Hold her hand
Bite your tongue
And
Remind her
That you're
Hers.

Shimmy wild
Shake down -

This is some
Railroading
Existential
Trolling
****.

I’m plugging in-

A glaring glitch
In your singular
Reality.

You’re completely
Right
If you think I’m
Taking advantage of the fact
That you
Think
We’re all just
Programmed players
In your
Sacred
Existence.

My iridescent snicker
Isn’t what’s up for debate
Buddy -

I know there’s a coyote
Lurking about
Somewhere
And I’m gonna let that
*******
Chuckle & buckle
Up
Until I lose it
In the
Trippiest corners
Of your mind;

Whistling like
Whispers
Where words
Sound like
Wonders

Bathed in
Confusion
At its best.

I’m gonna make you
Wonder
If you’ve ever
Waken up
At all.

--

Gear hopping
Daily
From your
Native system
To
“What the hell’s
Even
Going on anymore?”

Don’t worry
Though
Darling.

I only switched
The blues
And the greens.

You’re only sleeping
If you believe
You are.

tundra icicles
cut my heart open wide -

can't pretend
this wasn't what I signed up for
when I ran in here
after you.

i slipped you some matches
when you weren't looking
and watched you light up again,
while I just sat there

in unfamiliar territory
rolling around
on my big girl wheels,
determined to sneak you
a pair of telling eyes
as soon as no one
was watching.

i should've known better

than to bring you
a stolen vision,
as if i hadn't already learned
of the subjective quest -

i'm just trying to
help you see

what the matches were for.

Surely these surly bits
Must be burrs caught up in my
Makeup -

Making up reasons for
Why my spit was accidental.

I done been through a
Rough patch or two -
Crawling with these
Thorns in my knees
Across funky plateaus
That poke their chests out
In their scouts
For sunnier flora.

Though,
I assume their search
Didn't go over so well.

'cause these scabbings won't heal
Like I want them to,
Buried under gobs of
Ointment
That was supposed to take care of it

(And
One more bandage
Just in case).

I'm just moseying on through,
With my feelers out,
Making sure you're someone
I have to know.

In and on my way
Somewhere
In this crazy field,
Waiting for sunflowers
To bless my prayers
While I continue to
Make room for myself to
Slip past
Without being noticed.

I'm smiling so hard
To keep the soft-hearted
At bay -
Trying to avoid being forced
Into pinpoint relations
With clueless drifters
Who refuse to stay on their side.

They only mean well -
I know this,
I do.

But, the simple has yet to escape me.

Send your
Sympathies
To the weak ones,

Roleplaying
Alongside the meek,

For these are the creed
Who,
Without giving heed,

Deliver their lives
To bliss.

Toward thinking - thinking toward that newer stuff.

Implicating a newer truth -
More meaning more than ever what meant before.

[Enter eternity]

Dry unveilings found me dripping and drowning,
Ogling the ones who did it better.

Enlightenment, apparently, doesn't come with instructions -
Sorry, Timmy - do catch me when I'm wiser.

Nit pick my tendencies to
Overcome the dumb junk -
Trippin' about all of the dirt that's piled up on my dirt, already.

Each moment that caters to forgotten smiles,
X's out all of the  good times I could've spent passin' the conch shell with somethin' to say - Ha.

I'm itching to perform a miracle.

Settling for truths spilled from frigid lips just ain't my cup of tea -
Thank God.

--

Everything is happening now.
Exhale.

you're not half bad
at your candlewick blossom snuffing -

got your braggart game up loud
in your repetitive silence
beaming at the doting strange phoenixes
darting in between your
bending fingers,

snatching up my flames
in their return to their
static progress on
life skills that are lingering
far too long
in the forging stage.

baby, baby
please -

tell me those aren't
your voices
slithering up the tall
columns of echoes,
wailing out
overzealous,
too pompous
orations.

nevermind -

my mind's pretending
to sleep somewhere marvellous
in this mind-field
of
the littlest
pink *******,

trying to act like
i don't suddenly feel
as if
the tomorrow
up next
will be bringing
a different star.

so i just sit here -

pointing my toes at occurrences
that i really wish had've gone down
a whole lot more
differently,

praying that
by some miracle,
tossing a bit of dust
from my careful bag

(paired with the experimental
levitational practices
i keep doing in my free time)

will somehow
make room
for all these
eggshells you won't stop
throwing onto the floor.

too many have found me
playing patty-cake
under that possessed streetlamp
down Hardy,
the one that always seems to flicker
when i walk by -

snatching back its potency
just long enough
to highlight the
unsolicited red apple ritual
happening in my
cheekbones.

i've got a game to catch.

not trying to be the dawdling girl,
throwing all of her hopes
into the air,
willing the destined one
to be something that will
cradle us both.

you gotta be on this
wick snuffing trip
searching for something a little more than
a ****-tossing buddy.

better get a pack of matches
and try to beat me to it,
'cause i'm putting up my fire-red can

and the light's gonna follow me out.

It's killin' me,

the way you always
heed my silent becks
to the cat's cradle
for the dim-dusked
shimmyings we do,

for the middle of the courts
hopscotchin' we improv
in the
catacorner criss-crosses
we continue to let
splash
in the middle of our
bashing pool.

stakes are
brimstoned
high
this time-

higher than the dizzy chicks
with flower magic
stick-on things
not really covering their ******* -

their faith's got them
grinning down
proudly
to the matrix hubbub below,
from the drooping shoulders
of their guy bits
in matching flowers

('cause we're all one here
yeah? - yeah!).

tonka tricks
litterin' my walkway -
slinkin' around,
tryna play on with
the big cats -

instead,

just trippin' up my
flutter game -

chill out.

i mean,

i'm not complainin'
'bout the mess your
charcoal lashes keep
leavin'
after payin their
naughty boy dues
to them round things
just one step down -
makin' love to
the apples bobbin'
in cheeky
conversation.

i've kinda got this
cheshire thing goin' on -
the way my smile swells
too slowly for you -
showin' off whiffs of
those secret things

the ones i only hold onto to
to keep rattlin' your cage
with the big toys
i keep tellin' you
you can't have.

but
you keep
swimmin' in that pool
of excessive *****
traps
thinkin' there's a way
to ****** the magic
carpet from beneath my
bottom,

believing some dumbly
that your charcoal
is the only fire starter i'll ever want
markin' up my agenda.

you're screamin' a bit too loud
now, Cubby -
readin' to me the words
i can't see written across
my face.

I can't see 'em
without a mirror,
though i can feel the letters
being etched into my skin
with every flipped card
i wasn't
necessarily
tryin' to flip.

but, honey
i got cosmic dust
stored in my fingertips

a special
spunky mix
i like to throw down on
in the kitchen with
the sandman's concoctions -

plan A and plan B
it's a fight just to see in -
need to be prepared
for whatever is comin'.

though you ain't snatched
the rug yet,
i'm lollygaggin' on the
tip of the edge

my carpet's doin this
rufflin' thing -
and i'm slippin'.

you got me
colonizin' your corduroys
draggin' my stirred and ragged heart
behind me -
too sturdy and ambitious
in its wild-hearted
persistence.

gonna bust open
this fruit bloom, here
if it takes me all day
and all night.

I am
an ant,
looking for salvation
in big places.

cancel your plans, darling -
we're feignin' tonight.

i ain't tasted your fancy brow
since i last ran up trees.

i know you miss
the way my tossing hair
always filled the air with
moonlit berries and
wild
wild
grapes,

so thick
your mouth
gave way to
tsunamis.

i've got cold noodles sittin'
in my bowl somewhere
because i forgot to remind myself that
that ain't food that's
fillin' my belly -

channelin' me your orange hues
dipped in frustrations so subtle,

but
not
subtle
enough.

your frisky hot hemp dance
is flingin' itself
all over my inside stuff -
curbin' my appetite
for just about
anything else.

i'll climb your tree anyday
sweet baby,
kissin' greens
in your sleeves
on that minxy leaf trip.

carry me to your sneaky cove
and share your spices
and wanton skin graces.

i'll trade you my
fingertips
and diamond
extravaganzas,
then we can take turns
dippin' our tongues
into the blend.

'cause
i've blotted out my agenda
to savour the splendour
so i can remember to
spit it back into
the faces of
the dark
cloaked ones.

this is my defiant-nosed
iron song,
in my steel-toed boots.

see, i'm feelin' mahself
and the randy white cub
ticklin' my sides
in our crazy cahoots,

with our incense and spirits
from the worshipers of
sane things -
who fill our airs
with a long overdue
white haze.

the jolly painter came to visit, one day.
he painted smileys upon the walls of my house -

then another and another,
and another until
i was forced
to spread my smileys
about.

now, were they merited -
these radiant
marvelous things -
marking my walls with
their swelling brilliance

or were they,
simply,
of Karma's duty -

blossoms flowering,
just as they should?

whichever, however,
whenever, whatever,
i'm not quite sure
but i like the allure

they bring
strength to my stem
and quiet the mayhem,
i live in,

so i think,
my dear,
i shall take them.

I like you a lot.
I know, but I don't like you.
I like you a lot.
I know, but I don't like you.
I like you a lot.
I know, but I don't like you.
I like you a lot.
I know, but I don't like you.

I like you a lot.
*I know, and I like you too.

i keep peeking around
these curling corners -

dashing away from
the finger-waggers
who blink
only
when i'm not
in this predicament

when i'm not
kissing the sides of this
yellowing frame -
still holding fast
to that
ensnared moment
i've deemed
too late to make
unholy

unabashed and tall
in the courts of
low-faced jurors
who **** their teeth
at my soiled apparel
and glare down
over horn-rimmed
frames

demeaning demeanors
in mean-streak persons
demand dumb perfection
in too black

tattered
robes.

my fingers were beginning
to love that couch

they loved it so heavily
burrowing deep into
the cigarette burn
that scratched against
the underside
of my thigh

i could’ve been banished
to that couch -
to that moment
in time

for two forevers

and loved it thrice holy.

my eyes were beginning
to love that wall

that blue wall
with its paint racing
so anxiously for
the floor bowing
beneath your feet

the porch

the wood
underneath this
couch, with its
pancake cushions
sizzling beneath
the cool points
we were boasting of
in each other

i hadn’t known it then
but i sure know it now

the birds were singing out
my name

while i shuffled
quickly
and threw out
swiftly
the next card
to be played
in the game.

I have yet to learn
How to relay my swollen
Thoughts in such a small

the moon must be crazy
in the way that it glows
when it does,

for only ***** things
happen at night,

at twilight is when the
hungry men prowl
for the ripened darlings
in their lacy things -

when the fingers of
the raving ones
are stickiest in their
rabid breaths,

in the time that
wallows in the dust
of the stars' dusky debut
is where the shadows
are livened with
all things creeping
and perilous,

though,

it was in my
silken milk moonbath
that i rinsed the nagging
sharp terrors from my
fortitude undergoing
a quickening,

and in the pool of light
amid the crystal rocks -

that i gave my fervent
wet hearted
soliloquies.

--

lest i forget,

it was in the
late moon's lament
with his opal grand aura
painting softly my glowing path
that i embraced the silent
white cub, in his quaky
ascent who radically
up-ended my
existence.

--

treasured Sir Moon
in your tremulous
spry loon

i trust the satin truth
in the madness you brew.

I've been adding more green leaves
And flower buds to my mask,
Lately,
I even cut away, a bit,
To reveal the scar above my eye.

Though,

I had to paint on more smileys
With glitter,
The other day,
To counter the angled eyes
That cut right through them.

But then,

Someone ripped off
The string on the right.

So, now, it,
Occasionally,
Swings -

Back
And then forth
And then back
And then forth,

Unless, I make a pointed effort,
To hold it up to my face.


But,
For now,

I don't give a
Cut phone cord.

He likes joy girls,

The ones that spring upward in the wee hours
And smile because the sun is coming soon -
The ones that rise with the sun
And keep right on rising,
Even 'til the sun is setting -
Then they rise on
Into the night,

He likes girls with fluttering fingers
That tingle when they touch you -
Ones with round-eyed spirits
That peek out from the pockets of their irises.

He likes joy girls,

Those "sun-in-my-pocket" girls,
The skipping instead of walking,
The "I'm too tired of talking,
(I'd rather be off singing)"
Girls,

Girls with giggles so infectious
His frown can't help but slip-up,

He holds these girls the tightest to him
'cause his days look much too much like
The endings of,

Late October dusks.

She pushed her cart so frankly,
Eyes straight forward -
Never sidecast,

Nor down to the tray
Showing a splendid array
Of treats
I knew
Were mine.

But then that woman
Went blinking mad!
Racin' her goodie cart
Much too fast,

Rudely ahead,
At things I
Yet
Had said -
Her gown
Screaming

A ****** red.

--

Hair yanked
My eyes
Down -
The drone had stolen my gown!

Rattling wheels
Still forging ahead -

She had given me her
Flute and her
Tongue-tied suit,

(The suit that I knew
Gave them
Control over you),

Her wolf eyes
Wide,
And dead.

My filed down nails
Grew into claws,
Clenching my empty cup,

"I did not drink it!"
"I will not drink it!"

Then the cup was filled back up.

That woman stood still
In front of me -
Hands tied down to her sides,

As she silently mouthed her
Starch-white song,

"There's nowhere
You can hide."

I hurled my cup
With that bitter water
At her blaringly
Condemning
Face,

"I will not eat
Your grinning sweets!
You won't keep me
In this place!"

--

Nuts and bolts
Flying and Floating -
Stinging a rip
In time,

Punctuation
Chasing my words,
In haste -

But,
No trace of her
Could I find.

--

Too much parepin in my water.

Sit still, now, chil’,
While I untangle this mess -
You ain’t goin’ swimmin’
‘til it’s all in braids,

The mo’ naps you got,
The mo’ hair you lose,
I’m ti’ed of strugglin’
With this pick
And flat comb,

—

‘cause yo hair is too thick,
I’m at the enda mah wick,

And, mah grays are doin’
Anything -

But, fadin’.

In the world upstairs
Are walls as veils,
Balleting in
Inner winds.

Shadows criss-cross
The songs
That trudge
From throngs
Of masses
Running around,
In chaos
That sneaks over -
Guised in cloaks
That rival its
Counterpart.

I guess,

The world that burst forth
From my tender red womb
Is maniacally clawing
To get back inside,
Now,

Or am I pulling it by
It's tangled hairs?

Afterall,

I am flustered
With it wrenching
The brush from my hand,
Each time I reach out
To unravel the mess
It's made,

(Or, I made?)

Either way,

I'll let bygones be bygones,
Even if it means
Being carried away -
Lost in sterilized hair strands,
Sleeping wordlessly,
Amid

Insanely white teeth.

I crept up to the rocking chair
Perched beside my bedroom door,
Pressed my ear up to the wood
Waiting for daddy's snores,

Silence in heaps,
Between discounted sheep,
Blared into the darkness,

Until, an eye-squeezing roar
Shook the entire first floor,
Following my tiptoes across the carpet.

Down the hall and to the left
And quickly up the stairs

(Swiftly, I went
In my flighty ascent -
Should goblins follow,
Me - unawares),

I burst into the attic
Heart naively in panic -
Back evened with the sturdy door,

The attic, at last!
The window ahead,
And beyond it,
I could only imagine.

--

Daddy told me once,
From behind billows of smoke,
That the more I dreamt
The more things awoke,

I dreamt of a dragon
In bed that night,
So, with the stars, up high
Should be a dragon in flight,

I threw open the curtains,
Soul, a wish-filled flagon,
Breath held tight
To behold my...lizard?

--

An itty bitty
Teeny weeny
Green,

(and somewhat, brownish)

Thing,

Crawled across
My window sill
Lacking all his
Dragon things,

His dragon hue,
And dragon size,
Everything
Dragon-wise,

I plopped down to
The floor beneath
The window,
And I took a seat,

I watched that little
Dragonette -
Slowly trying
To just forget,

The dragon I had come to see
Hadn't cared enough to come see me,

Then that lizard did a crazy thing -
Popped up his head -
Showin' a big pink thing!

I wasn't sure what sounds lizards made
So, I moved up close
('cause I wasn't afraid!)

Eye to eye,
I leaned in close,
Then that thing jumped forward
And bit my nose!

...

*I'm pretty sure he liked me.