We fell apart
When the lights dimmed with your smile
And acid tears burnt eyes to swollen slits
You punctured truths of glass into my heart
And we fell apart.

I gave my tormentor the title of best friend
because for once,
it felt like someone saw me the same way I did.
I fell in love with a boy who bruised instead of kissed
because for once,
I didnt have to be the one to beat myself up.

He was a monster
that I so badly wanted to charm
because for once,
it wasn't my problems I was struggling to solve.

I'd die for you.
You would'nt even fight for me.
I'd cry for you.
You wouln't even lie for me.
I'd catch a bullet for you.
You would still be living life free.
I'd lay awake all night for you.
You wouldnt even dream of me.
I never gave up on you.
You gave up on me....

I was so willing to
fight for you
but you took away
my armour and
stabbed me
in the back.

I think I've finally run out of ways to poetically say I miss holding you in my arms.