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Doy A Jan 2017
this is my apology for the way

my words are colder than my hands that refuse to be held

my body is tougher than my heart that needs mending

my mind is unhinged, now more than ever.
Doy A Nov 2016
I flipped through pages
of the years I've spent
in the arms of lovers who
promised me the sun and
the rest of the stars,
and with each turn I saw
the way I changed for you
and him
and him.
I confess, I swore you'd be the last one.
I confess, I prayed for you to come.
And you did.
And he did.
And he did.
Doy A Feb 2016
If there is one thing I learned from you,
it is how to read a map.
See, I've been lost for quite some time
Been trying to find my way through land mines
Dropped by men who uttered promises like they were prayers:
holy, sacred.
Been trapped in a maze that guaranteed no end,
like a white mouse finding his way towards his reward only to find out it's all just a test.
I've been doing this for so long that I can't even recall my tracks
when I wanted to turn back
Because when I look back
It's always too late, and I'm already in too deep in
the messes I've created for myself.
What I didn't know was that God created you...as if
he knew I would need your light to guide me
and your body to be the beacon that beckoned me
and as if God broke my heart on purpose before I met you
because you were meant to meet me after I
figured out how to fix myself.
No, you didn't fix me.
I wasn't the broken girl that needed mending
But I had a lot of questions
and you saw them in my eyes
But you didn't have answers right away.
No, we weren't love at first sight
or
fall in love over heels
and I wasn't a princess in the high tower
waiting to be called
what I'm saying is
We weren't a fairy tale
But sometimes, it feels like that to me.
I find it hard to believe how of all the paths I could've taken
My God pointed your way and said,
Hey, trust me, I know what I'm doing.
You taught me how to read a map,
To understand the direction
Towards where you and I are meant to go
Beyond all the mountains and seas we've been to
You taught me the coordinates towards
forgiveness
and patience
and maturity
and kindness
and above all,
love.
For Shao.
Doy A Oct 2015
Her
Her eyes
full of stories that need telling

Her fingers
sore from all the hands she held on to
too tightly

Her body
it trembles with every whisper
of love and lust and lies

Her name
etched on their minds even after they lost her

Her hips
these mountains that call them

Her soul
a temple they swore they'd worship

Her secrets
these are what's left of her
and yet she writes
too honestly, too often

Her poetry
this is how you
fix her
Will delete. Wrote in 5 mins. Random mthoughts I need to take note of.
Doy A Aug 2015
I searched for you
In the crevices of my mind
Where I hid your songs
and half-meant promises
Forgotten and forgiven
Long ago forsaken
The hateful things I had in my heart
Only to undo the tears and wine
I drowned in
Only to exhume the bones I buried
When you left me
Now I find myself misshapen
My brain all the more bruised
Trying to recall the softness of your being
Thinking I shouldn't relapse
Into the addiction you gave me
But I am helpless in this war
Against my own will and sense
Because despite the scars and the beating
Of my heart when you hurt me
You were the only one
Who made me feel
Alive.
Doy A Aug 2015
Time
It stops
When I'm with you

The clock
It slows
As I miss you

Forever
Too short
Now I know you
Random poetry I came up with as I played with my kit from Magnetic Poetry MNL.
Doy A Jul 2015
And when I think of you
I feel good about myself
And it doesn't matter if I'm broke
Or if 3am makes me sad

Because when I think of you
I am proud of myself
And it doesn't matter if I'm a mess
Or if some things can't be fixed

As I think of you
And realize all these
I fear for my life

I can't contain these feelings
Or cage them in my heart

So here is my ink, my blood
My skin made of paper,
I surrender all that matters
Please
Don't come to me with matches
Or with the fire in your soul
Because I easily burn.
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