i had a dream again
my mother came back
imediatly i hugged her
she said "i love you"
seemed so real
before i could get another word in
reality revealed its cruel face
sitting up in bed
i wish i could stay asleep
forever

last night i had a Dream
i was at an intersection
both roads looked the same
standing on one road my mother
one the other myself only older
my mom spoke softly
"honey you need to stop wasting your time
forget music forget painting an poetry
that wont get you anywhere go to college
be a doctor or a lawyer make lots and lots of money
youll be happy"
sounded tempting
i started walking that way
then my future self spoke
"you need to do what makes you happy what you love
dont work a job just for money do it for pleasure
continue to paint continue to play music
it will be hard at first you will disopoint some people in the end
it pays off youll make money off your painting
you can be in a succesful band
learning from from every obsticle you face"
it was then i had to decide
i aplogized to my mother i told her if she loved me
she support me
"ok" she said
the future me disapeared as i ran down his road
creating my life ahead
im not sure what happened next
i woke up at that point
i guess thats where i decide

Last night I found myself amazed
By a gnat
A gnat the size of a spec of dust
Contains all the organs
Needed to function
It caused me to think as I do
Is there some life much larger
Than us a higher power?
Possibly something bigger than that
Or smaller than the gnat
The entire universe is a mystery
Why not come up with endless possibilities and thoughts
See the world through my eyes

I sit on the old wooden panels
Making up the bayside dock
Not a sound to be heard
A single lantern providing
A small amount of light
In a sea of darkness
I stare into the water
Seeing nothing but black
It's as if
If I were to jump
I'd fall endlessly into an abyss
In the distance are the siloets of trees
Bordering the river
The horizon just barely looking over
Trying to get a peak
I touch the water
A ripple races through
Like broken glass
It's on the old wood panels
Of the bayside dock
I find happiness

have you ever looked out the window while it rained?
really makes you wonder right?
what its like to be a rain drop
one in millions of others
landing in an unfamiliar location
alone
all that just to be dried back up in the air
repeating the cycle
my name is Devin Blazejowski
and i know what its like to be a raindrop

Ive felt the pain of love
i thought i was too young
but im sure i felt it
you were on my mind all day everyday
all i ever wanted was to be near you
hear your voice
touch your skin
I had fallen in love with you
SO I DECLARED MY LOVE FROM THE ROOF TOP!
....you pushed me

C'mon Devin
Light that joint all your pain will go away
NO!
You know you want to be high
You like being high dont you?
A LITTLE
What are you waiting for?
Bye bye depression
See ya later anxiety
Am I right?
BUT THAT ONLY HELPS
FOR A LITTLE BIT
so what? Light another one up
Take a few swigs of that whiskey
Who needs therapy when you have these things
And me of course
I GUESS SO.....

Body shaking
Heart racing
Mind scattered
Feeling dizzy
Need help
Can't talk
Go away
Can't walk
Pass out
Why not cry a little too

Hello my name is anxiety

The devil lives in my head
My demons cling to me like a shadow
I stare in the mirror
the torture of silence around me
With the non stop thoughts in my head
I want to scream but become frozen
As I stare deeper in the mirror
Questioning everything about myself
I hear the laughter get louder
And louder
Yes the devil lives In my head
Looks like he's here to stay

just ******* go for it!

As society developed so did greed

As communities grew hate tagged along

As technologies developed descrimination and warefare took charge

Is that human nature?

To discriminate to want to steal to take

Is that genetic?

NO! history is no excuse thousands of years may change

Hatred is not tradition

Warefare is not a way of life and anyone who says other wise

Has their head in the same place as ancient civilizations

We are human and humans evolve so why do we think the same as we did

THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO?

Change this way of life

Change the world,

WE are an ocean

you the water

i the salt

WE are close as can be but im aware

one day the sun will shine

and you will evaporate into the heavens

leaving me behind.

oh how i wish it would rain