I won't come back
To do my deeds and bits.
I won't return
To finish what I've started.

I shan't be here
Whene'er you come looking.
I'll be elsewhere,
Long time afore departed.

There's no way back, alas!
This road knows only one direction.
I cannot turn away, I cannot linger...
And Fate itself seems deaf to my objections.

3 June 2014

Feeling fail.
A shallow discontentment
only brought about
by the success of others.
Challenges conspire.
Everywhere I look
beauty and joy
laughing
mockingly.
My poor body,
weak and restless,
struggling to breathe
under the pressure.
Water surrounds me,
pounding in my ears,
and it is done.

Part of me doesn’t want to write anymore (or is it anything?).
Am I just afraid to drag my emotions across this page?
My words tend to come back black and blue,
misunderstood from the most ridiculous points of view.

Should I end communications?
Though the shadows in my closet offer no verbal retaliations.
For better or worse, at least my ego’s not hurt
from a mad world’s projections.

But I don’t want to be the lonely one
hiding along the edge of the room,
surely looking broken to some,
while others wait for me to come undone.

Give me a minute and I’ll return to center ring.
Maybe it’s just the thought of a crowd that I find overwhelming.

Missing you always did feel like starving to death.
But I'm as addicted to the emptiness of your absence
As I am to the comfort of your love.
So close.
I was so close.
We
Were so close.
And now I want nothing more
Than to die of the lack of you,
However many years it may take.