If you spit blood
while brushing your teeth:
it could be a sign
of gum disease.

And if you feel
pain and distress
it might be a sign
that you're depressed.

And if you are
anything like me,
it could be a sign.
It might just be.

If you ache
and you don't know why,
it could be sign
that you need to cry.

And if you cry
and there's no relief,
it could be a sign,
that like a thief
life has taken its toll
and its becoming too much;
and now you've grown
cold to touch.

If this sounds
anything like you
it's probably a sign,
that there are two.
That together we fall.
and that what you're going through,
is nothing new;
so hold onto something,
anything,
and I will, too.

I appreciate your silence,
I'm serious,
just a bit delirious;
due to drinking some special tea:
which I took, regretfully.
But soon I'll be normal again,
and back to me.

This world
takes you
and holds you
and shows you all that you could have.
Then it forsakes you
and throws you,
cruely,
into the bone crushing groundswell,
the fountains,
the wells,
and tells you to sink or swim.
Do or die.
Survival of fittest.
and you curse the sky.

Stop trying to be everything you think the world wants
and just be.
And don't bluff.
Don't bluff for once in your life and just do.
Do what you know you must.
The path is clear now.
You don't need hope,
faith
or trust.
Just let go
and forget everything you know.

No rhythm, no structure, no order.
Just like your life
that you hold onto so much
without cause or reason to.
**** yourself sweetheart,
or somebody that matters to the world.
That doesn't need another self-depressed loner
with a pocket full of
quivering
self indulgent
lines of just ******* life from the world
so frail and done.
Doesn't deserve.
tired.
wants it to end.
At least pretend,
please,
Not this.
Not the suffering of a thousand past lives
regressing and regressing
into the insurmountable stormy oceans
or heartache and regret
and times you kept
telling yourself to hang in there.
Just hang in there a little longer.

Conclude a  predictably worthless life
and just don't look at me while you do it.
Turn the lights off.
I don't want to see you.

Sapphire seeds setting where the sun bleeds,
bleeds her life into an un-lovable Earth
that leaves its ones in need.

But beg and plead
she will never need
your unmatched lack of reciprocity,
Your bitterness,
your cold looks.
Your hurt eyes:
go and leave with them. I don't need them.

You had me and you spoiled your
unsatisfied sappy sucker sun
dried heart shrink wrapped
around me in the cold.
And it wasn't cold for once,
just for a little while.

But what the earth gives she takes away without reason.
And how dare you question
when she so cares.
You hate her now but she's all you have.

And she's all you were ever going to have.
Ungrateful hurt little
you were so
so
hurt.
And you thought that was the worst?
Well go on, and hurt.
and hurt.
and keep on hurting until blood becomes your bath
and pain becomes your food.
You deserve every ounce of it.
Hurt
and hurt
Go on, hurt
hurt like you hurt me.
Like I have hurt so many times before you.
And cry
and yes, cry,
with your crocodile tears of astonishing self loathing.
Cry your ******* eyes out baby
I loved you
and you said
you needed me
but you only kneaded me into nothing
with your projector-like glances of
'oh, I think it's bad now.'
Go on, cry now.
Show the real you.
A weakling,
undeserving of my time.
Sit there and sob
and write your silly rhymes.
You disgust me

Barely keeping it together.
just trying to stay sane.
Remembering,
forgetting,
regretting;
and no one to blame:
Except for myself,
for all the days
wasted in dreams,
the unread books that lay,
lonely, on the shelf,
among the unfinished drawings
and forgotten magazines.
I am freaking out,
losing it,
falling apart and tearing
at the seams.

But then some new shiny thing passes by,
catching my eye
like a magpie,
and I am distracted
once again;
my mind, soothed.
A temporary bandage
hiding the pain.
And thank God for the rain
that comes and washes away all the filth.
The mess that just piles back up again, anyway
But thank God for that short-lived relief.
Even if only temporary;
and if you think it's foolish to cherish
that which is temporary,
just take a stroll through any cemetery.
And tell me something that doesn't die.
In the meantime, goodnight,
godspeed
and goodbye.